


To The Moon And Back

by Arctic_comet



Category: Designated Survivor (TV)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Friends to Lovers, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-25
Updated: 2020-05-02
Packaged: 2020-05-03 11:23:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 51,937
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19180267
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Arctic_comet/pseuds/Arctic_comet
Summary: Spoilers for all of S3. Emily knows that after everything that's happened, she should stay as far from Aaron as possible. That turns out to be difficult when he makes her an offer she can't refuse.





	1. January

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, my friends, I'm back with more Emron! The first chapter is pretty short, but it's just to set up the story, the next ones will be longer :)

_Naples, Florida_

The coastal city was famous for its gorgeous sunsets, with the sun sinking into the Gulf of Mexico in a vivid mixture of orange, yellow, red and pink. That was one of the reasons Emily Rhodes was standing on the balcony of her hotel room, a glass of wine in her hand. The beach in front of her was full of people, their now darkening forms revealing couples, friends and families. Her eyes began to sting once more, the tears no longer a one-time lapse but more like an essential part of her now. It had been two months since her mom's death. She'd seen the strong woman who raised her wilt away, become nothing more but a mere shadow of herself. Now she was gone forever. They'd never walk on the beach together the way they had when Emily was a child, collecting seashells, listening to the roar of the waves. A few weeks ago she'd sprinkled her mother's ashes in the Gulf Stream. She liked to believe that her mom was free now.

The biggest loss of Emily's life wasn't the only matter bothering her. The man who had been her boss for years had changed, turned out to be someone she barely recognized. He'd been like a surrogate father to her, she'd trusted him. Things would never be the same again, and she didn't mean that in a good way. She'd never look at him the same way again. And now she was lonely and unemployed. It wasn't that nobody had offered her another job, but she hadn't ran into the right offer yet. _What did she even want to do with her life?_ She felt like her next move would be the turning point and set the direction for the rest of her life. It wasn't an easy decision to make.

Then there was the matter of her best friend, who she tried not to think about. The soon-to-be Vice President of the United States. Aaron Shore. If someone had suggested this was where he'd be three or four years ago, she'd have laughed in their face. Now it was one of the few things in her world that made sense. If only things between them were less complicated. He'd tried calling her, and at first she'd answered. All calls had gone the same way: he'd wanted to know how she was, and she'd assured him that she was doing fine and that he should focus on the upcoming inauguration. She'd eventually stopped answering, and he'd stopped calling, turning into texts instead.

_When you want to talk about it, I'm here._

What was the point, though? Her chances of seeing him again in person anytime soon were low, and she _missed_ him. It was pain she didn't need or want. The pain of longing mixed with her grief and disappointment in Kirkman, leaving her worn out and reaching for a drink more often than was necessary. She'd entertained the thought that he could be lonely, too. Isabel and him really were through. Funnily enough, she was apparently pregnant with _Seth's_ baby. At first she'd asked Seth about it, but had then interrupted her friend and told him that she didn't want to know after all. She still didn't know whether to laugh or cry over the news, but she'd settled on loathing herself for being relieved the baby wasn't Aaron's. _What was wrong with her?_ You wanted the best for your friends, for them to be happy, and yet she'd never been able to truly support his relationship with Isabel.

Against all common sense, she wondered if Aaron still missed Isabel, if he wanted her back. She hated herself for hurting her and for playing a part in their breakup, but what she felt even more guilty about was the fact that if Aaron hadn't been in a relationship, she wouldn't have regretted anything that took place that night. When you took something you had no right to, you couldn’t keep any of it, not even the memories. Or you _shouldn’t_. She’d cheated, not only that night, but every single day ever since. She'd kept a memory. The kiss, which she may have started, but for reasons she wasn't sure of, he'd responded. She'd even had to push him away. It had been full of emotion, even more than their first one. A trail of failed relationships followed in her wake, and then there was Aaron, with whom there had never been a relationship at all, yet he was the one who meant the most. It was a paradox she was sure a therapist would've had a field day with, but Emily herself wasn't interested in any in-depth analysis. 

Her phone buzzed to signal the arrival of a text message.

_ Can I call you? It’s about a job offer. _

She drew in a quick breath, adrenaline releasing into her system. A job offer. From Aaron. Squeezing her eyes shut, she struggled with herself. Staying away from Aaron was paramount for many reasons, and was politics really good for her anyway? Unfortunately the person offering the job was currently probably the only one she had serious issues telling ‘no’ to.

_ Hit me up. _

Her phone rang within a minute, and for the first time since November, she picked up Aaron’s call.

“Hi,” she said.

“Hey, Em. How are you?” His deep voice still had an undesirable effect on her, making her want to tell him she’d missed him. That she was in a rut with no way out. 

”Holding on,” She replied with a sigh, not wanting to lie.

“I hope you’ll hear me out and come home. It’s been too long.”

“Aaron-“

“I know you needed this, it’s just that... Uh, I’m calling for purely selfish reasons.”

Emily raised a brow. “A job offer for selfish reasons? Do tell.”

“I’ve been holding off on hiring a chief of staff. Everyone’s been telling me to do that since we won, but I haven’t. Because there’s only one person I want to see in that position, but I’m not sure if she’d agree to take it.”

“She might have reservations, yes.” She found herself smiling into the phone despite herself.

“In that case I’ll drop the personal angle and say that your country needs you, Emily Rhodes, to be the vice president’s right hand.”

Emily wanted to say yes. The position could be seen as a demotion, considering that she’d once served the president himself as his chief of staff, but that hardly mattered. After everything, she could no longer see herself working for Kirkman, quite possibly ever. Aaron, on the other hand? He had remained the man she’d known him to be throughout the brutal campaign. Nevertheless, if her experience with Kirkman had taught her anything, it was that every human being had the potential to disappoint you in many heartbreaking ways.

“Do you need to think about it?”

“Yeah, that’s be great. But I’m guessing you can’t give me much time," she sighed. It would be infinitely better to sleep on this before giving him an answer.

He sighed back. “You’d be right about that. Look, if it makes you feel more comfortable, we could sign a temporary contract. For like a year, maybe? You could walk away after that, no hard feelings, I swear.”

Could that be the solution? A year, and then she would be out, no matter what took place. Of course, if she messed up, she would be out much sooner, but she felt strangely confident about this. She understood Aaron, and he understood her, at least when it came to work. 

“Okay,” she found herself answering.

“You’ll be my chief of staff?”

“Yes, Aaron. I’ll get online and book tickets to D.C as soon as we end this call.”

“Thank you, Em. You won’t regret this, I promise. How much time do you need?”

“I’ll see you tomorrow.”

“That’s my chief of staff right there. Let’s get to work. Welcome aboard.”

 


	2. January II

_Washington, D.C._

 

Aaron moved the piles of papers around on his desk. For approximately the fifteenth time in the last half hour. Was it nerves? No, of course he wasn't nervous. After all, within a week he'd officially become the Vice President of the United States, and he felt hopelessly lost in his own head. The last couple of months had been a whirlwind, in particular thanks to his and Isabel's permanent separation. It had been a scandal of medium proportion, and the whole thing had _hurt_. The press and the public would never know the truth, but form their image on him as a human being and occupant of a high office based on a five-sentence press release.

He had many regrets and letting their relationship become a public matter at all was one of the biggest ones. Not that it had been the reason for the failure of their relationship, but at least he wouldn't have had to deal with this and despite all advice wonder how people perceived him and if he could still fulfill their expectations of him. Hell, he wondered if all the mistakes he'd done but the public _wasn't_ aware of made him unqualified.

In the midst of all the turmoil in his life, his thoughts had often left the city limits and headed south. To Emily. If she was all right after her mother's death, if she needed a friend. She'd stopped taking his calls a few weeks back, but he hadn't been able to get her out of his head. Or choose a chief of staff. 

Emily was without a doubt the best person for the job, not only because she came with the prior experience, connections and smarts required by the position, but because for her this wasn’t about the public image he would project as VP, or how his conduct would affect Kirkman’s presidency,but about him. She asked the right questions, gave him the space and freedom to be who he was.

If he’d consulted a single person on whether a friendship between the Vice President and his chief of staff was a smart thing to maintain, the answer would’ve probably been a resounding no, especially since apparently a surprisingly large group of people were aware of their... Whatever it was that it should be called. Emily had called it a drunken one-time mistake. If only it were that simple. Either way, people in the White House knew he’d cheated on Isabel with Emily.

She would be working for him, which meant absolutely _no_ messing around. _No_ scandals. _No_ obscure rumors potentially spread by White House staff. _No_ confronting Emily on whatever it was that lingered between them. That was the price to be paid just to have her back, and he’d sworn to himself that he would be willing to pay it.

Therefore he wasn’t going to ask for anyone’s opinion. As willing as he was to do anything in his power to avoid scandals, for the last couple of months he hadn’t felt like he had anyone in his corner. _Everyone_ had an agenda, another priority. Of course, this was something he should've been more than well aware of, based on his own prior work experience, but the realization and loneliness had still hit him like a ton of bricks. There was nobody he trusted more than Emily, and despite his past mistakes which he was not planning on repeating, he believed he couldn’t be the best possible Vice President without a single person to trust.

It had taken him nearly two months to give up on Isabel for good, to reach the painful conclusion that he’d been trying to fix something that wasn’t meant to be fixed. The revelation that she’d gone and apparently had sex with Seth (resulting in a pregnancy) after finding out about Emily hadserved as a wake-up call. In hindsight he was grateful for it. Self-awareness had never been his forte, but now he saw more clearly. He was going to be fine.

In fact, he was swearing off women entirely until he was no longer in office. After that... Some merely half sane part of his brain told him that he’d find himself at Emily’s door, finally asking for that one honest talk. It was crazy, because although he was painfully aware of how difficult it was for her to let people close to her and trust them with her heart, surely she would have a family by that point.

A knock at the door drew Aaron out of his thoughts, and he sprung to his feet.

"Sir, Miss Rhodes is here," announced the intern he'd recruited to stay late because Emily hadn't been able to book an earlier flight.

"Thank you, please send her in."

Emily sailed into the room with a confident air, her head held up high, a smile on her face. It didn’t quite reach her eyes and she looked tired, but he returned it nonetheless. She filled the room with the warmth and light he'd been missing ever since she'd left. 

Fortunately they were alone, so he covered half of the distance between them and pulled her into a hug. Just like before, his head came to rest against the top of her head, followed by the achingly familiar scent of her hair filling his nose, his entire brain. She’d smelled like that then too, back when she’d kissed him outside his hotel room.

Clearing his throat, he broke the contact.

“Good to see you, Em.”

“You should probably stop hugging me. You’re my boss after all," she replied in a casual tone, and he didn't think she was joking.

“Should we get the paper work in order first?” She asked.

“Sure. It’s all right there on my desk, go ahead and go through it, take as much time as you need. You want something to drink? Coffee?” 

“Coffee’s fine.”

Leaving her alone in his office, he stepped into the adjoining room that would become Emily’s office sooner rather than later. For now it had served as the designated spot for coffee and other essentials. Filling two cups, he returned to his office to find her sitting behind the desk, still leaning over the contract.

Funnily enough, he could see her sitting in that chair someday as Vice President. 

“Here’s your coffee.”

Her head shot up, her eyes finding his, an amused twinkle in them. “Thank you."

Taking a seat on the couch, he watched as she perused the contract. "All should be as we agreed. It'll expire in a year."

Emily nodded, turning the page again. Soon after, she grasped the pen set beside the papers and signed the two copies. He accepted them from her, beaming. "You have no idea how glad I am that you're here," he admitted.

"I hope you'll still feel that way in a few months," she sighed, coming to sit on one of the chairs opposite to the couch. "I need to know what you want from me, Aaron. What you need me to be as your chief of staff. Of course I know the basics of the job description, but just tell me." 

He couldn’t help but take it as a loaded question, much like her _“What do you want?”_ On That Night. He was grateful for both instances, just because Emily knew exactly what the right questions were. Deciding to go with the simplest answer he could think of, he inhaled deeply before replying.

“I need you to be my friend. I need someone in my corner at all times. You know who I am, and you don’t want to change me. I don’t want to lose track of... Of who I am anymore.”

“I get it, but after-“

“I know things didn’t end well with you and Kirkman, but I’m not him.”

“No, you’re not.”

“You’ve already seen me at my worst, Em. At least I hope so.”

“What we're doing here and what you're suggesting is kind of unconventional, as you know. And some people would call it a terrible idea.”

“That may be true, but it’s an honest answer to your great question. That’s what you were looking for, right?”

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Can you do that for me, then?”

Shaking her head, she closed her eyes before finally nodding. "Yes."

Just as sure as he was that some things weren’t meant to be fixed, he was sure that some things in life were meant to remain eternal mysteries, as nothing more but unrealized potential. Different paths that people chose not to take. You couldn’t look behind a door when you’d already picked a different one, could you?

_No, you couldn’t._ A year from now he would let Emily go if that was what she wanted, and he would wish all the best things in life for her. After what she’d been through with her dad abandoning her and then having to watch her mother die, she deserved so much. He could only hope she wouldn’t be too scared to let those things happen to her.


	3. March

_Washington, D.C._

 

Seth marched into Emily’s office just as she was in the middle of a phone call to Finland, confirming the schedule of Aaron’s upcoming visit there. He shot her a dark look that made her frown in return.

“What?” She mouthed.

“Emergency,” he mouthed back.

“Yes, yes. Do you need any further information at this point or can we confirm everything else when we get closer to the visit?” She asked, sighing in relief when the minister’s aide in the other end assured her that they were done for the time being.

“What is it?” She asked, narrowing her eyes at Seth. 

“When did you last check your email?” He asked, his voice frantic. As he leaned over her desk to apparently look at her screen, Emily noticed his entire face was sweating.

“A half an hour ago, right before that call. What’s going on?”

“Just look at your inbox, I forwarded you a message. In a nutshell, we’re screwed. They know about the baby.”

She immediately caught on, her mouse hand scrambling to open the forwarded message from Seth. It had around a dozen attachments, all of them photos.

“Oh hell no Seth, you didn’t-“ She hissed, her pulse rising second by second.

“I didn’t think the paparazzi would be following Isabel to a damned ultrasound appointment!”

“So you went in there with her, let them take these photos and basically started gushing over the baby in the middle of the fucking street, letting them take more photos?”

The plan had been to keep Isabel’s pregnancy from the media as long as possible, to avoid the chance that people would insist Aaron had to be the father. Now there was no stopping it. They were fucked. Aaron and the baby would have to take a DNA test when it was born, and until then, he would be painted as a deadbeat father and/or a man who had abandoned his pregnant girlfriend. An immoral man with no business being Vice President.

“Em, please?” Seth’s voice brought her back to the present. Gritting her teeth, she looked into his eyes.

“You need to let someone else handle this,” she told him as calmly as she could.

He nodded. 

“I know.”

“And make sure it’s someone who isn’t easily intimidated by the press.”

“I’ll do my best.”

As far as Emily was concerned, the discussion was over, but Seth wasn’t showing any signs of leaving.

“What?” She asked.

“I know you don’t want me in your business and I don’t want you in mine, but I’m worried about you.”

“Why?”

“Because you’re putting your whole heart into this. Into helping Aaron.”

“You don’t think I should’ve taken the job?”

“I think this is getting too personal for you. I like Aaron, but he doesn’t always make the best decisions, as proven by-“

“I’m well aware of that, thank you very much,” she muttered, interrupting Seth.

“All I’m saying is that I don’t want you to get hurt.”

“I’m a grown woman, Seth. That’s all you need to know. You’re a great friend, but trust me, okay?”

Seth sighed. “Okay. I don’t know if I said this already, but it is great to have you back.”

“Thanks. So, since you butted into my business, I can probably butt into yours too, right? How are things with Isabel?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest, her lips curving into a smile when Seth’s face grew visibly red.

“We’re- we’re planning on co-parenting as friends. That’s all.”

Emily shrugged. “If that’s what you say.”

“She’s a great woman. She didn’t deserve what Aaron did to her.”

“You mean what Aaron and I did to her.”

“You can’t take responsibility for that.”

“Yeah, actually, I can and I will. I knew what I was doing, I knew he was taken.” She explained. It would be ingenious to deny her own responsibility. She’d been there, making a decision, just as he had. She could’ve stopped it just as he could’ve.

Seth coughed, mumbling something under his breath.

“Excuse me?”

“You and Aaron. You guys are like Bonnie and Clyde.”

“Is that a compliment?”

“You be the judge of that," he quipped, heading for the door.

***

It was past lunchtime until Emily finally had a chance to speak to Aaron, who had been in meetings all morning.

“Hi,” she said, watching as he rubbed his temples. The last thing she wanted to do was to add to his stress, but he had to know.

“Hey, Em. You look worried,” he observed with a frown.

“You need to see these photos,” she sighed, setting the entire stack in front of him on the desk. She could’ve tried explaining it, but usually pictures tended to tell more than a thousand words would.

His frown deepened as he went through the photos, and finally he jumped to his feet.

“I’m sorry,” she offered, wondering if the pain he was feeling was only related to his own position.

“It’s not your fault. We always knew this day would come, right?”

“Right.”

“So it’s just come a little earlier than we’d hoped.”

“I’ve got a statement drafted, right here,” she replied, handling him the single page document. _Short and sweet._

_ The Vice President wishes Ms. Pardo and Mr. Wright the best of luck with their child.  _

_ It is a private matter of two individuals and should not be a matter of public interest.  _

_ The Vice President will not be making any furthers statements concerning the matter. _

“This is never going to be enough,” he sighed, his tone exasperated.

“You know as well as I do that nothing you say will be enough in this case,” she said, squeezing her eyes closed. Maybe she could've phrased that a little better.

“Except proof that I’m not the father. The conservatives will be on this in a New York minute.”

“Most people won’t listen to them, Aaron.”

“Even if only _some_ do, it’ll be enough to jeopardize the presidency. Tell me the truth: was I insane to take on this job, knowing this would eventually happen?”

“You were elected by the American people. There’s nothing insane about that.” Hell, she'd voted for him herself. Giving up shouldn't be an option. He'd done nothing that would disqualify him from being a great VP.

“They’re going to think I’m not who they voted for.”

“You’ll prove them wrong. I’ll help.”

“If...” He began.  “If I’d just stayed with Isi and not screwed up, this would not be happening.”

Emily flinched, hoping Aaron would miss her reaction.

“You can’t change the past,” she replied, her voice shaking slightly.

“No, I can’t. But I can still call myself an idiot,” he said, shaking his head.

“Were you truly happy with her?” She asked quietly, regretting the question immediately. This was exactly the kind of stuff they were _not_ going to discuss.

Raising his head, his eyes met hers. He was as surprised by her question as she was.

“I wanted to be... I _could’ve_ been if I were different. And I think a version of me truly could’ve been. A version who didn’t know... What I do. But after how Lorraine used Isabel and our relationship in the campaign, I think it’s what I should’ve been, what I needed to be. I failed.”

If Emily could hate Lorraine any more than she already did, this would’ve made that happen. _Bitch._ This was what happened when you played dirty. It wasn’t only your opponents who suffered, but the very people you were supposedly trying to help.

“You could be having this baby with Isabel,” she murmured.

Aaron nodded. “Yeah, I could.”

“Do you wish you were?”

He shook his head, a sad smile on his lips. “No. Isabel doesn’t want to have anything to do with me, and no child should be born into that situation. Even if it made me look better in the eyes of the public.”

Recognizing the sadness in his gaze Emily wondered if he was being entirely truthful with her. He would make a great dad.

“But what I’m the most worried about isn’t even my reputation, but the fact that everything might come out, Em. People can count. Someone’s going to figure out that Isi was probably still with me when the baby was conceived. Then I can either let her take the blame or admit what happened.”

She swallowed. “You know I’m not the best person to advice you on this.”

“I know, but I want you to know that I won’t pull you into this. No matter what happens. It’s my mess to clean.”

“You’re going to tell the truth.”

“It’s the right thing to do.”

“It’s none of their business.”

“But I can’t let them go after an innocent woman and blame her for cheating on me.”

“Maybe it won’t ever come to that, but if it does, we’ll be prepared. We’ll figure something out,” she assured him. Still, no matter what she said, they both knew this could bring his vice presidency to an untimely end. She wanted to believe that Kirkman would have Aaron's back, but he'd changed... Everything she'd thought she knew about the man had been thrown out of the window, and now she felt more uncertain than ever before. If his advisers or even Mars told him that it was in his best interest to drop Aaron, would he do it?

Whether any one of them liked it or not, they would have to sit down and talk about all this with Isabel and Seth eventually. _God_ , now there was a discussion she didn’t look forward to. Despite her own words to Isabel, she didn’t think they could ever really be friends. It wasn’t her fault, but Emily’s. Too much had happened and at this point she didn’t think they even saw Aaron the same way. Even a lunch would be awkward, she imagined.

***

That night she sat alone in her office, while everyone else save for Aaron himself had gone home. He was still at a meeting with Kirkman.

Once again she found herself staring at the photos of Isabel and Seth admiring the ultrasound images. Something about the look made her heart sink and her stomach clench. It felt an awful lot like jealousy. It had nothing to do with Seth, who was nothing more and nothing less than one of her dearest friends. It was about the baby. Ever since thinking she might never be able to have a child of her own and possibly even face fatal cancer at a young age, she’d been aware of her own situation. 

The biological truth was that if she wanted a child, it was something she should start thinking about. There was no partner to share the hope with, and it was unlikely that there would ever be. Would it be fair to raise a child without a father? She’d grown up and done all right despite her father’s abandonment, hadn’t she? And her child wouldn’t exactly be abandoned by their father.

Typing carefully into the search bar, she told herself that she was only making very preliminary research on the subject. It didn’t mean anything. 

The search results revealed the sheer number of fertility clinics in the tri-state area. There were too many, she’d have to ask for recommendations. As she made a mental note to call her own gynecologist, the door to her office opened.

“You ready for the night?” Asked Aaron.

“Go on, I’ll finish up here.”

“It’s almost midnight, Em. Come on, we’ll drive you home.”

Rolling her eyes, she couldn’t help herself.

“All right, fine. Let me get my coat.”

 

 


	4. April

_Washington, D.C._

 

"He's ready for you now," announced Mars, coming out of the Oval Office. Kirkman's Chief of Staff gave him a grave nod before probably heading for his own office. At this point he envied the guy, reminiscing his own days as Chief of Staff with fondness. _Simpler times._

Shit, why did everyone have to know about his screw-up? Especially the man who valued Isabel probably more than anyone else in the building. There had been a day when he'd have claimed to be that person, but what she'd said to him on election night was true. He'd been blind in many ways. Overall, his entire relationship with Isabel wasn't one of his finest moments.

After the numerous newspaper articles and even TV pieces on Fox News on Isabel's pregnancy and the possibility that Kirkman's government was covering things up and lying to the American people to make Aaron look better, the president had apparently run out of patience. Seth's people had done a lot of damage control ever since, but nothing seemed to be enough. As Aaron had predicted, they were drowning in his shit. 

Walking through the door into the president's office, he felt like a schoolboy, waiting for a scolding from the principal. He closed the door behind him before facing Kirkman, who wasn't even looking at him, but staring out of the window.

"You've really made a mess out of things, haven't you, Aaron?"Started Kirkman, voicing what Aaron supposed had to be a rhetorical question.

The president's words rang through his head. _Yes, he definitely had._

"Now the only question left to answer is what we should do about it."

"I assume that's the reason you called me here," replied Aaron.

"It is. First, I'd like you to tell me exactly what the real story is."

Wincing inwardly, Aaron exhaled. "Right."

"I assume the baby really isn't yours?"

"It really isn't."

"And the time line questions?"

"As far as the public knows, Isabel and I were still together at the time, so I guess you could call them reasonable."

"But in practice?"

"In practice she wasn't even speaking to me."

Kirkman nodded, finally turning to face Aaron. "What brought that on? Of course I've heard the rumors, but I want to hear it from you."

"I cheated on her." He was unsure whether to include Emily's name in the answer, but it was likely bound to come up anyway.

"With Emily?"

"Yeah."

"And now you've brought her back to work here."

"I have."

"Why on earth did you do that? I've always taken you to be a smart man, Aaron, but you knew this would become public at some point, and still you decided to bring in the woman who-"

Aaron swallowed, clenching his fists. He wanted nothing more than to defend Emily, defend his own choice, but he bit his tongue. He was aware that Kirkman and Emily had had a falling out, but the man had been _so_ fond of Em. Had things really changed that much? Had Kirkman changed that much?

"I chose the best person for the job, which is what I always believed _you_ to do."

The president raised his brows. "You're seriously throwing that at me? You're not even telling me the truth, but I guess it doesn't matter. What matters is that I think you should let Emily go right away, before the press finds out she played a part in your and Ms. Pardo's separation."

Without a second thought, Aaron shook his head. "No," he said aloud. 

Surprise was evident on Kirkman's face. "You know I can essentially force you out, don't you?" 

"I'm aware of that." If Kirkman wanted, he could convince Congress to start impeachment proceedings. The conservatives were on warpath with him anyway after the recent publicity.

"This is personal for you. Hiring Emily," murmured the president.

"Emily has a temporary contract, which will run out on December 31st. I'm her boss, and in that position I'll stand by her, as _you've_ done for myself, her and Seth in the past. And I hope you'll do it for me this one last time," argued Aaron, his breathing heavy. Hiding his hands in his pockets, he tried to mask the trembling, reminding himself that he was now an elected official, the Vice President of the United States, and answered to the American people, not Tom Kirkman. 

"You know as well as I do that Emily would step aside the second I told her it was what you wanted, but I'm not going to let that happen. If I don't defend her here, against you, then I'm not the man I told the American people I was," he finished.

"People are going to think you've deceived them."

He nodded. "I know that."

Kirkman shook his head. "I've known you for years, but you really surprise me here. I've known you to be a lot of things, but an _idealist_ at this point in your life? Never. Maybe I didn't know who I picked for my running mate, after all." The words stung, but Aaron refused to avert his eyes from the president's. 

"Have me impeached if you want to, but leave Emily out of this. I'll do anything to make things right, but Emily stays."

"In that case, I need you to get your story straight, and not only with Emily, but with Ms. Pardo and Seth. It's going to get much worse."

"Consider it done," he replied without stuttering, despite the fact that being forced to sit at the table with all parties involved and talking about matters that should've stayed private to begin with, sounded marginally better than jumping into a pool full of hungry sharks.

"And I'm not saying I won't fire you eventually. I can't let your mistakes reflect badly on this entire administration, we have a country to run here after all. Impeaching you would be a distraction, and since you really are not the father, then maybe this can somehow still be salvaged."

"Thank you, Sir."

"You have a trip coming up, don't you?"

"Headed for Sydney, Australia later today."

"Once you return to the States, I assume you'll meet with the others and sorted out a plan. We'll talk about this again then."

As soon as Aaron stepped out of the Oval Office, he let out a deep breath. He'd been so proud to be picked as Kirkman's running mate, having grown to admire the man so much. Sure, he had seen the change in him over the years, even more so during the campaign when he doubted anyone had been able to escape Lorraine's effect, but the president was now a much more calculating person than he'd thought him to be. Just like Emily, he was disappointed. Integrity and loyalty were values that Aaron himself been willing to compromise on if needed, so was the change truly only in Kirkman, or was he right, too? Had Aaron himself changed too?

***

His luggage for the trip was packed, and the meeting with Kirkman had been the last thing on his agenda before the flight, so he decided to check on Emily, mostly because after the talk he'd just had, he _wanted_ to see her.

The door to Emily's office was ajar, her voice chiming bright and clear from the other side. Aaron stopped before knocking. He should give her privacy to finish the call. He was about to return to his own office, but his ears picked up the word 'doctor', which made his heart pound in anxiety. Was something wrong with Emily? After the death of her mother due to cancer, he couldn't stop his imagination from ending up with the worst possible options. 

_"Thank you, Dr. Woodsley. I really appreciate the recommendations..."_

Recommendations? He really didn't like the sound of this.

_"Uh, I'm not sure about the schedule, to be honest. I'm currently committed to a job for the rest of the year, so it couldn't happen until January at the earliest. Yes, I will start taking the vitamins."_

She was pushing back a medical procedure for this job? Frowning, he rapped on the door before pushing it open. Her eyes grew wide as if she were a deer caught in the headlights.

"Ummm, Dr. Woodsley, I'm afraid I need to get back to work. Thank you for everything," she murmured, finishing the call before focusing on him. "What's up?" She asked innocently.

He wasn't sure how to do this. Swallowing, he moved his weight from one foot to the other. "I was about to ask you the same question, actually," he said.

"What're you talking about?"

Closing his eyes, he decided to come clean. "I heard some of your phone call, Em. Is something going on that I should know about?"

"No," she replied, entirely too fast, her tone too certain to be truthful. 

"You were talking to a doctor," he prodded softly.

"So what if I was? I have a right to privacy, don't I?" She quipped, no longer maintaining eye contact with him, instead overcome with the sudden urge to re-arrange all the folders on her desk.

"Of course you do, but I'm your _friend_ , remember?"

Emily sighed. "I know that, but this is private, Aaron." By folding her arms across her chest, she told him that the discussion was over. 

"Fine. Can you at least promise me that it's nothing life-threatening?" 

Her eyes widened again. " _What the hell?_ You're worried I'm dy-"

"So it's not?"

"No! Absolutely not," she said, a hearty laugh filling the room. 

He knew she was hiding something important from him, but as she'd said, she did have a right to do that, so he nodded, pretending to be happy with her answers.

"Just let me know if there's anything I can do."

"Thanks. So, how did it go with Kirkman?"

"He was angry."

"Which was to be expected, wasn't it?"

"Yeah, it was."

"But he doesn't want you impeached."

"No, not for now."

Emily sighed in relief. "That's a win then, isn't it?"

"It depends on the end result, but for now he wants us to get our story straight with Seth and Isabel."

"Right. I'll schedule the meeting before we head for the airport."

"Thank you. Once again, I'm really sorry for dragging you into this."

"I made a choice, too. But I don't- I don't think we should talk about it unless we absolutely have to, like at that meeting."

"Okay, I understand that." He cursed his own inability to gauge her feelings, but at the same time he was grateful for her professionalism. Emily was probably the only person he could think of who had the ability to not only hold herself together most of the time, but also _him_.

"We'll go through your entire schedule once we get on the plane, is that all right?" She asked, forcing him out of his thoughts.

"Sure. We shouldn't run out of time on that flight."

Emily chuckled. "Yeah, tell me about it. Have you ever been to Australia?"

"No, I haven't. I've always thought it'd be a great place to visit while-," he started, hesitating the rest of his answer.

"While what?"

"While on honeymoon, which is not in the cards," he completed, releasing a tense laugh.

"It's still going to be great to see all those cities."

"I've always been more interested in the nature, to be honest. Imagine camping in the Outback... No light pollution anywhere, only the stars and the howls and hoots of the wilderness around you." For a second, he allowed himself to imagine the scene, with nobody around to disturb them for miles and miles, lying on the ground, entwined in each other's arms with nothing to worry about. A place just for them to be happy. Right at this moment he wanted it so much his heart ached, but it was merely a fantasy to be yearned. 

Her eyes had taken on a dreamy softness he hadn't seen in them in a very long time and it made him hope she was imagining the same thing as he was. "Yeah," she finally sighed. "That does sound amazing."

"And getting to share that with the person you love most in the world."

"Would make it even better. That's a great idea, Aaron. I hope you get to make that trip someday."

"Me too."

 ***

_Somewhere over the Pacific Ocean_

Aaron knew it was creepy to watch someone sleep, but when Emily had dozed off in her lounger about an hour ago, he'd barely been able to look at anything else. He'd covered her with a blanket to make up for his rudeness, but the right thing would be to wake her up so she could get to her sofa bed instead of waking up with her neck full of kinks.

He'd been too wrapped up in his own thoughts to look at her enough when she'd slept beside him that one night that he was forbidden to mention. Although, even then the thought had crossed his mind during the darkest hours of the night: tell Isi it's over and throw caution to the wind. However, the first rays of the morning sun and Emily's swift exit from his room had vanquished his courage rather effectively even before she'd explicitly told Lorraine what a mistake she'd made in sleeping with him. His behavior after that made him cringe. Again, not one of his finest moments. The more he thought about it, the more certain he was that neither Emily or Isabel had much reason to trust him after what he'd done, and yet somehow Emily still did... In some ways, at least. That was a miracle in itself, and one of the few things that kept him believing that perhaps not all was lost after all. 

The lights of the cabin had been dimmed at his request, and the moonlight shone through the ridiculously small windows, forming a patch of light in Emily's hair. As he took a swig of his scotch, he remembered running his fingers through those strands, how smooth they'd felt, how she'd arched into him, wanting more of his touch. That had been their theme ever since her return to Kirkman's campaign, hadn't it? _More._ There always had to be more, and yet there never could be.

He hoped Emily was being truthful with him about her call with the doctor, but if she wasn't? There was no doubt in his mind that if she were willing, he'd be the one to sit beside her bed, to hold her even if the worst happened. His position held no meaning there, because he was determined to do right by her this time, no matter what it took. Nevertheless, she was hopefully not seriously ill and even if she were, it seemed to him that she didn't find him worthy to open up to about it. 

"If I could, I'd go back and do things the right way," he murmured quietly at her sleeping form, knowing his assurances made no difference to their situation. Time machines didn't exist, so the only thing he could do was to figure out a way out of this mess and keep his position. 

"There are many right ways," she suddenly murmured, startling Aaron out of his seat. _Hell,_ he hadn't realized she was awake. 

"Are you awake, Em?"

"Mmmm... Not really. What were you talking about?"

"Nothing. You have a sofa bed waiting for you, you should head there."

"This is fine, I'm not used to beds on intercontinental flights anyway," she replied with a yawn, her eyes still remaining closed. "Why aren't you going to bed?" She asked.

"I- Sometimes I have trouble sleeping. This is one of those times."

"There are pills for that, you know."

"I don't want pills." He wanted to stop the nagging of his conscience, but was there anything that would achieve that?

"So I guess we'll stay here then."

"Looks like it."

"Or do you want to be alone?"

"No. I'm glad you're here," he answered truthfully, the admission still somehow making his skin grow hotter. 

"In that case, good night Aaron."

"Good night, Emily."

 

 


	5. April II

_Sydney, Australia_

Emily’s feet ached as she shut the door to her hotel room and threw herself on the large bed.  Getting used to the time difference was really taking a toll on her, and having to remember about a thousand things while coping with the jet lag was exhausting.

Closing her eyes, she let her mind wander to the person she spent the most time with: Aaron. He was currently enjoying a dinner with the Prime Minister of Australia and his wife. She had no idea how he was even still awake, much less having a five-course meal. The only thing she felt eating was the bag of chips she’d picked up on her way to the hotel.

Her job with Aaron had so far offered her several revelations. One of them was that she was now sure she was doing the right thing by only staying on for a year. The job was tasking, which hadn’t come as a surprise, but it made her truly understand that if she wanted a child, she would have to find other work. The second revelation she’d had was the fact that the thought of leaving Aaron and possibly never coming across him again made her heart sink. She was way too attached to him for both her own and for his good.She'd had her first appointments at one of the fertility clinics her doctor had recommended. The first bloodwork was done, and she still wasn't sure if she was going to go through with it. As much as she wanted a child, a part of her wondered if she was truly ready for such responsibility. If it would be fairer to live alone, if she wasn't even able to form a functioning relationship with a man.

The phone buzzed. Groaning, she reached out to grab it off the bedside table lazily.

_You awake?_

She smiled. Apparently the dinner hadn't lasted as long as she'd expected it to.

_Barely. How was dinner?_

Aaron's reply came a couple of minutes later.

_Come into my room and I'll tell you._

Rolling her eyes towards the ceiling, she grinned stupidly. Their working relationship was already too unconventional, and going into his room for what seemed to be merely for company wouldn't make things any less complicated. Her phone vibrated again before she had a chance to tell him explicitly that she was going to bed.

_I have scotch._

Struggling with her conscience for a minute, she eventually sat up to pull her shoes back on. _Shit, she was really going, wasn't she?_

Secret Service let her into his room with a nod.

Aaron was seated on a sofa, a drink in hand. 

"Hey," she started. "I really should be sleeping, just for the record," she grumbled.

"I'm sure you won't have a hard time falling asleep after I've recounted two and a half hours of dinner with a bunch of strangers," he answered with a grin, pouring her a drink identical to his own,.

"Okay, I guess you can be forgiven, then," she joked. "So I take it you didn't make any progress over dinner?"

Aaron shook his head. "No, we mostly focused on small talk, as was always to be expected."

"Well, you still have tomorrow's talks left."

"Yeah, but I just have a hard time staying positive that we'd find much common ground when it comes to regulations to reduce carbon dioxide emissions, as well as immigration."

Sitting down beside him, she set her glass on the coffee table. "Which is exactly as we expected."

"Yeah, but I guess I was still hoping for a better outcome. Maybe someone else would've done better," he replied with a shrug.

She raised a brow at him. "You're kidding me, right?"

"I am pretty green for a VP, you've got to admit as much."

"Everyone knows you have the talent for this. I think you're just fishing for compliments from me," she joked. 

"You really think so?" He asked, the familiar smirk creeping back onto his face. Self doubt didn't suit Aaron shore.

"Absolutely."

"How about you join me and the Prime Minister for lunch tomorrow, and you'll see how serious I was being."

"Would it look odd if I were there?"

He shook his head. "I don't think so."

"It's a deal then."

"We'll drink to that:"

"And to being in this beautiful country-" she started, raising her glass.

"But seeing none of it," he finished for her, his glass meeting hers.

"Do you want to go through tomorrow's agenda?" She asked, lifting a hand in front of her mouth to cover a yawn.

"I'm thinking _you_ may not be up for it."

"I'm fine, we'll do it if you want to."

With a final, doubting glance in her direction, he opened the folder with the following day's schedule and notes. 

One moment Emily remembered staring at Aaron, his eyes intently focused on the material she'd gathered for him, and then within a blink the hotel suite had disappeared. _Instead she saw a vast, dark sky full of stars. A fire was crackling nearby, and a man was stoking it. He turned to her, wearing the tender and yet cocky grin he used to in her presence. A long time ago. Except now he was doing it again, wasn't it? Aaron sat beside her, his arm going around her shoulders. Without giving the gesture a second thought, she leaned into the crook of his neck and placed a hand on his knee. She was happy. They were happy. This was how it was supposed to be._

Emily was temporarily roused when Aaron picked her up, cradling her against his chest. The scent of his cologne was achingly familiar and exciting for her, and she allowed her cheek to rest against his shoulder as he carried her. The warmth of his arms ended too soon when he laid her on the bed, pulling the covers around her tightly.

”Sleep well, Em,” he whispered and she thought she felt a feather light kiss brush against the top of her head before he turned off the lights and left the bedroom. 

Releasing a sleepy groan, she realized that this was becoming a habit for her, at least on this trip.

 

***

_Washington, D.C._

On their first morning back in the States, Emily was the first to arrive in the small meeting room she’d reserved for the four of them. Nervously, she fidgeted with the water bottles on the table, re-arranging them.

Should she even be in the room for this? It could make things worse, but even more than that, she felt she belonged there, by Aaron’s side. He didn’t deserve to deal with this alone, so whether it was her duty to stick by his side as his chief of staff, or if she was taking responsibility for her own actions that night, she had to be present. Still, truth be told, she’d rather have had all her teeth pulled out.

Aaron was the next to stride into the room, having concluded his national security briefing.

”Hey,” he greeted, his voice tense.

”Hi. I’ve got to ask you this one more time: are you sure you want me here?”

”It’s your choice, Em. You don’t have to stay,” he assured her, taking a seat across from her current position. 

His gaze kept darting from her to every single piece of art and furniture in the room, revealing his anxiety. That on its own cemented her decision.

“I’m staying.”

”Thank you,” he sighed, his hand suddenly covering hers on the table. His dark eyes were serious, but there were other things to be read in them as he regarded her, maintaining the physical contact, but she refused to read the messages. It was the only way to survive this year. And yet somehow she still couldn’t tear her eyes off his. 

The spell was broken by Seth clearing his throat discreetly.

”Good morning, welcome back,” he said.

”Morning, Seth.”

”How was the trip?”

”Oh, they have the greatest sightseeing tours," she replied, allowing sarcasm to slip into her tone. She'd barely seen a damned thing. 

"So that's how it was? No free time?"

"None whatsoever. Well, I did get a couple of souvenirs at the hotel gift shop."

Isabel's arrival immediately altered the atmosphere of the room, the tension mounting. 

"Good morning," greeted Isabel as she maneuvered into a seat beside Seth.

Emily regarded the other woman, realizing that the discussion they were about to have was long overdue. There really was no hiding the pregnancy anymore. It wouldn't be long now until the questions began to pile up, if that were to happen at all. 

"All right, now that we're all accounted for, let's get on with it. We need to decide how to deal with the press and other interested parties if they start asking about Isabel's pregnancy," began Seth. 

"And I don't think there are any great options on the table," added Emily. 

“I don’t care what people think about me. I can take one for the team,” said Isabel, glaring at Aaron icily.

”That’d hardly be fair,” countered Aaron.

”You really want to talk about what’s fair?”

”You _can’t_ come clean with the public, Aaron,” exhaled Seth. “As Press Secretary, I can’t let you put yourself and Kirkman in that position.”

”What if there was a third option?” Asked Emily, clearing her throat. The idea had first occurred to her in Sydney. It was devious and she hated it, ashamed it had ever crossed her mind, hoping it would never have to be used.

Three heads whipped in her direction immediately.

”What is it?” 

“If it ever comes to it, we claim that Aaron and Isabel’s relationships ended way before everyone believes it did.”

”It would still paint us as liars,” said Isabel. “We’d have deceived the public during the campaign.”

”Isabel... I think Emily has a point. It’s not the perfect solution, but it’s not something that will get Aaron impeached," sighed Seth, setting a hand on Isabel's arm. _Interesting._ She'd tried hard to be happy for Aaron during his relationship with Isabel, but she'd never viewed them to be a particularly good match. Perhaps things would work between her and Seth better. 

”What do you think, Aaron?” She asked, turning to look at him in the eye. He nodded. 

“I can deal with it. I don't like it, but maybe there isn't a better option if we want to preserve the administration. However, I still want to keep the option of telling the truth on the table. When we start lying to the public, at what point do we stop? This has nothing to do with my ability to serve as vice president, but who's to say that we won't ever run into a situation like this, except a more serious one? One where the truth truly matters, and the people should have the right to decide if they can still count on us."

Nothing Aaron said was untrue, and it was something she'd been thinking as well. A web of lies woven by an administration to cover up their mistakes or crimes was a textbook sign of corruption, and would erode the foundations of their democracy. She'd discovered a new side to herself, but still liked to believe that she knew the difference between right and wrong, that she'd be able to counsel Aaron if they ever ended up with someone insisting they hide or lie about something meaningful. 

”Isabel?” Asked Seth.

She nodded too. “It’s the best we can come up with.”

After discussing the details some more, Seth announced that he had a meeting with Kirkman starting in five minutes, so they all filed out of the conference room. Aware that Aaron had a full afternoon of meetings coming up, Emily figured this was her chance to grab lunch. The plan was thwarted by Isabel suddenly calling out her name. Pivoting, she faced the woman around whom she'd probably never stop feeling guilty. 

“Did Aaron tell you that Kirkman wanted you out?”

Emily's eyes narrowed. ”What?”

”Yeah, that’s what he wanted Aaron to do. He refused to fire you.”

”I had no idea,” she confessed, still unsure how far she should trust Isabel’s words. Not that she believed her to be a liar, but she was still overtly emotional when it came to Aaron and her. _Which was yet another reason to bury her own feelings for him._

”He’s shown you more loyalty and respect in the last four months than he showed me the entire time we spent together. Most of the time I was with him, I didn't want to see it, but now that I know what he's really like, it's all there. Out in the open, clear as day."

”I’m sure that’s not true, Isabel.”

”Oh, let’s cut it with the bullshit. Him cheating on me wasn’t the only reason we broke up. I don’t know what’s going on between the two of you,  and I don’t even really care, to be honest, but I recognize the way he treats you. As in that he never treated me like that. If he had, we might still be together.”

”There’s nothing going on between me and Aaron.”

”If you say so.”

With that, Isabel turned on her heel and marched away, leaving Emily staring at her back. Aaron had endangered his position _for her_? A part of her was elated, but how childish was that? The sensible part of her was _furious_ with him. How could he jeopardize all they'd worked for months on end just for her?

She wanted to cry or possibly throw up, or maybe both, as she did her best not to think about the elephant in the room. Did Kirkman truly think of her as nothing but a distraction anymore? What about everything she'd done for _him_? Not that she’d expected him to be overjoyed by her return to the White House, but she’d hoped... _For what?_ Shaking her head, she cursed herself for being so naive. She'd hoped for _something_. As much as she enjoyed working for Aaron, she couldn't help but be reminded every day of the man who had been like a father to her but who she no longer recognized. 

The desire to confront her old boss nearly overtook her, but she swallowed it and made herself see sense. Aaron was still VP. She was still his chief of staff. _Weren't those the only two things that truly mattered at this point?_ Nevertheless, Aaron Shore wouldn't be as lucky as Kirkman. If he claimed to be her friend, she didn't want him making stupid moves to spare her job, especially without her even knowing about it. 

Taking a calming breath, she dug out her phone to text Aaron.

_Need to talk._

This time Emily had to wait for a response for more than an hour.

_What is it? Can it wait until after my 6PM meeting?_

Gritting her teeth, she typed a reply. _Yes, I'll be waiting._

***

After 8 PM she was still waiting. She'd been trying to review some of the newest reports from the DOJ, but her eyes kept drifting shut on their own volition. At last, the door opened and Aaron strode inside. 

“Hey, Sorry it took so long. What’s going on?”

She crossed her arms and glared at him, all feelings of weariness gone.

“Did Kirkman want me fired?” She asked, going straight to the point.

Aaron closed his eyes, as if in pain.

“Who have you been talking to?” He asked.

“Isabel cornered me after the meeting this morning. It’s true, then, isn’t it?”

“Yes, he wanted you gone, but-“

“You decided keeping me here was worth getting on the president’s bad side," she interrupted.

“I promised to have your back, Em. That’s all I was doing.”

“You should’ve given me the choice.”

“You would’ve resigned.”

“Yes, and it would’ve been my decision. You don’t get to choose for me, Aaron. Especially if you claim to be my friend.”

“I’m sorry. I know you’re upset-“

“Yeah, I’m upset with _you_!”

Shaking his head, he approached her.

“This isn’t really about _me_. I know how much Kirkman meant to you, and hearing that he wanted me to fire you must-“

“Don’t talk to me about Kirkman,” she replied, but the fight was already leaving her. She didn't want to yell at him, but talking about Kirkman... Or her mom, for that matter... Both of those topics were too hard for her for now. 

“Come here, Em,” he prodded gently, opening his arms.

In an attempt to clear her mind and stop herself from giving in, Emily shook her head. "That would be inappropriate, Aaron. You risked losing something that really matters over something that doesn't," she said softly.

"See, that's where you're wrong, Em. When it's about you and me, it's _never_ meaningless," he answered, his tone almost angry.

Emily had been about to come up with another snappy retort to take her pain out on Aaron, but closed her mouth in shock. _Why did he have to go and say things like this? Could she just pretend she hadn't heard or at least not acknowledged it?_

"I- I appreciate your concern for me, but in the future you need to let me make my own decisions concerning this job," she stammered, picking up her purse. 

"I understand, and I'll respect it... To an extent. If _you_ really want to end this, that's up to you. But I won't tolerate anyone driving you out," answered Aaron, his voice tense. 

_Stubborn bastard._ "Thank you. It's late, I need to get going."

"See you tomorrow."

She held it together until the door to her apartment shut behind her. Sinking onto the floor, she was a sobbing mess. More than anything else, she missed her mom. The only person in the world who she wanted to speak to about any of her pain was the only one who she shouldn't confide in. She'd already made too many mistakes. Still, if she hadn't been so angry earlier, she would've cracked for sure, and accepted the comfort Aaron had so readily offered. It was beginning to seem that taking this job had been the next chapter in a seemingly never-ending series of mistakes in her life. 

 


	6. June & July

_Rome, Italy_

Rome was hot in late June, but the locals Emily had spoken to claimed that it would be even hotter as August rolled around. She still couldn’t believe she’d been gifted an entire afternoon to tour the ancient city.

“I am so lucky,” she murmured to herself as she snapped photo after photo of the interior of the magnificent Colosseum. It was a tourist trap, much like she expected most historical European sights to be, but that didn’t diminish the effect the place had on her.

 _If only Aaron could be there, too._ However, he was stuck at a meeting with the Italian Prime Minister, Mayor of Rome and president of the region of Lazio.

“Is there a restaurant you could recommend for lunch?” She asked her tour guide Lucia. “Preferably something not filled with tourists,” she added, hoping the local woman would get her point.

Lucia smiled back at her knowingly. “I know just the right place for you. Do you like pasta?”

“Who doesn’t like pasta?”

“Exactly. I’m going to write the address down for you, as well as some instructions, so you won’t get lost. I have to warn you that the place is very busy at lunchtime, many office workers buy their lunch there, so there’s nowhere to sit. Take-out only.”

Emily blinked. Well, that didn’t sound too bad. She could always find a vacant bench somewhere and have her lunch there, God knew she was used to eating on the run anyway. “Okay, I’m sold,” she agreed with a smile.

She took the subway to the station Lucia’s instructions recommended and exited out into the street. The cobblestones under her feet radiated heat, and much like other Rome streets, it was uneven. Consulting her phone, Emily slowed down and eventually stopped in front of a storefront made entirely out of glass. A line of hungry locals had already formed in front of the place, and she joined the queue to wait for the restaurant to open. At exactly 11 AM, a man wearing an apron pushed the door open and people began to stream inside. As she watched the first ones leaving with their lunch, she noted the enormous size of the servings, wondering if that was the only size they sold. 

It turned out that they indeed only had gigantic portions for sale, so she bought one and ventured back out into the street to look for a bench to sit on. She found one outside a bakery advertising different flavors of tiramisu. Staring at her takeout container, she wondered if she’d be able to fit in anything else after the pasta. With a sigh, she took out the utensils and dug in. 

The pasta was creamy, warm and delicious, practically melting in her mouth. The portion was indeed extremely generous, and she could only finish around half of it. _Aaron would love this._ Sure, he was probably having a fancy lunch right now, but maybe he’d still be hungry later and accept her offering. As nice as the day was, she found herself yearning for company. Although it wasn’t an entirely new feeling, she’d rarely felt like this after her mother’s death. _Was this what healing meant? Slowly opening yourself up to other people again and wanting company?_ Now that she thought about it, she realized she hadn’t paid much attention to people outside the White House in years, aside from the time she’d spent with her mother. There was so much more to life than politics, it wasn’t even where the most valuable things could be found. Once she’d fulfilled her promise to Aaron, she should contact some of her old friends, too. Or maybe make new ones, especially if her baby project was a success. Although these thoughts made perfect sense to her, it was that little nagging voice in the back of her head that questioned if she could forget about Aaron so easily. However, at the end of the day the equation was all too complicated to solve. 

After depositing the used utensils into a trash can, she turned her head to the tiramisu shop. The chocolate banana tiramisu they were advertising sounded delicious. It turned out that the pastries were cooled and she’d have to eat it immediately, especially in these temperatures. So Aaron would have to make do with the pasta leftovers that she could refrigerate as soon as she got back to the hotel. 

***

Over the course of the afternoon Emily found her attention wandering back to her phone and email more and more. _Did she even know what it was like to be off duty anymore?_ She sighed, taking a look at her watch. Aaron should be back at the hotel soon enough, so there was no reason for her not to go back as well. 

Her feet were aching as she entered the lobby, making her curse her choice to wear shoes with any heel to them at all. 

_Just got to my room. You up for a drink after your busy day?_

She grinned at Aaron’s message. _On my way now, hope you’re hungry._

Secret Service allowed her into his room, where she found him pacing, his jacket discarded on the back of the couch and the sleeves of his white dress shirt rolled to his elbows. Her stomach churned pleasantly at the sight of him. He always used to look like that when they pulled all-nighters, sparring and working and flirting when they worked for Kirkman. 

“You brought me a doggy bag?” He asked as he motioned to the container in her arms, his tone amused. Emily returned his smile, pushing out all the memories of their early flirtation. 

“Didn’t want to waste the food. Do you want it or not?” She asked, raising her brows.

“Sure. This looks great. Where did you get it anyway?”

“A place the local office workers love. The entire box was only three euros.”

He nodded, accepting the food from her. “What else have you been up to today?”

“I saw the Colosseum, and Palatine Hill. I was also hoping to make it to the Vatican Museums and the Sistine Chapel, but that would require a full day on its own. 

Aaron bit into his lip, suddenly looking away from her. 

“What’s going on?” She asked.

“The president wants to give me a private tour of the museum and the chapel tomorrow.”

“Wow, that sounds amazing.”

“Would you like to join me?”

Hesitating, she wondered how it would look. 

“I think it’d make sense for my closest confidante and advisor to be present,” he mused. 

She beamed. A full day of viewing the enormous collections with Aaron sounded like a fantasy come to life. 

“The president’s bringing his wife, and assistant, too,” he continued.

“Well, in that case I guess I can agree without having to worry about staining the vice president’s reputation.”

He nodded. “Absolutely. Don’t sweat about anything tomorrow, just have fun. You deserve as much.”

“ _Have fun?_ What’s that?” She joked. “All joking aside, I had a good time today. It’s been so long since I had a real chance to travel and see new places.”

“That’s great to hear. Nevertheless, there’s more.”

She blinked. “What do you mean by that?”

“I saw an ad for an Elvis impersonator, and pulled some strings… I got you a ticket,” he revealed, pulling out an envelope from the breast pocket of his jacket.

Accepting the gift, she was fully aware that Aaron was expecting a reaction from her, but she had no words. _Why was he doing all this for her?_

 _“_ This is too much,” she whispered.

“It’s really not. I don’t know if you’ll enjoy hearing Elvis sing in Italian, but I thought it’d be a unique experience,” he explained with a shrug.

“You didn’t have to do this for me.”

“I know, but I wanted to surprise you, now that we’ve got a little bit of spare time.”

“Let me at least pay you back for this.”

“No way. Consider it a present from a friend.”

They stared at one another, with Emily both wanting and fearing the possibility that he would see into her mind. They were barely two feet apart, and that distance wasn’t to be crossed, but if it were appropriate, she’d step to him and wrap her arms around him.

“Thank you so much,” she settled on saying.

“You’re welcome. See you tomorrow.”

“See you tomorrow.”

***

The next morning Emily was already waiting for him in the hallway when he emerged from his room. He could appreciate irreplaceable pieces of art as much as the next guy, but being able to do this for Em was even more valuable. There were so few ways for him to show her how much he valued her, and… Well, felt other things for her that had to remain unannounced. Her time as his chief of staff was more than halfway over, and he was already feeling the loss of her. He would find a capable replacement, but there was only one Emily Rhodes in the world. He understood her desire to move on, especially after everything that had happened recently, but selfishly and stupidly- considering the history of their relationship-  he wished she’d find it hard to move on from him. 

“Good morning,” she greeted him, flashing a giddy smile. He returned it, enjoying the moment. It was a rare occasion to see her like this. Although she was still the same composed professional she always was, she was definitely more relaxed and excited. 

“Looking forward to visiting the museum?” He teased.

“Looking forward to being part of your day with the President of Lazio and assisting you in any way I can, Mr. Vice President,” she replied with an eye roll.

“How was the Elvis impersonator?”

“I never thought I’d laugh as much as I did,” she admitted. 

“That bad, huh?”

She released a snort before succumbing to an uncharacteristic fit of laughter. “I wish you’d been there, the translations of the lyrics-“

They both stopped at her slip up. _I wish I’d been there too, sitting right next to you._ That was what he wanted to tell her, but it was best to stay silent. 

Emily cleared her throat. “I just meant that it really was the unique experience you thought it’d be.”

“Right. Well, I’m glad you had a good time.”

”What’s the agenda for today? Do they really only want to show off local treasures?” She wondered.

He shrugged. “I think that’s mainly what they want to do, but I also got the sense yesterday that they’re curious about me.”

“That makes sense, though. You’re relatively new in international politics and young compared to most of these people. It’s natural, really.”

“True, but they also seem interested in my _background_.”

“Oh, Aaron…,” she sighed softly, shaking her head. “You have nothing to be ashamed of. What you’ve been through and how you grew up have formed you into the person you are today. Someone who should be very proud of himself. It doesn’t matter where you came from, and I understand if you’d rather not be defined by it, but you deserve to be looked up to, no matter your background. You should talk about yourself, but on your own terms.”

After all the arguments he’d had on the issue with Isabel, her words were like balm. Emily had no personal stake in this and no matter what he said or did about his background, he couldn’t offend or anger her. They could clash on numerous other things, including politics at times, but she didn’t want him to change. _As if they had a chance at a real relationship._

“Thank you for listening,” he told her. 

“Isn’t that what I’m here for?”

***

The local officials indeed bombarded him with questions about his family and background during the museum visit. Luckily Emily was there to help out and interview their hosts on their families and earlier careers. 

After lunch, he somehow ended up stranded in one of the rooms with only the President of Lazio’s wife and Em for company. It didn’t take long for the first bomb to land. 

“You are single, yes?” Asked Mrs. Bianchi.

“Yes, I am.”

Mrs. Bianchi scoffed disapprovingly. “That’s not good. A leader needs a partner.”

He replied with a polite smile. “I’m very focused on my work currently, Mrs. Bianchi,” he said.

“Of course you are, but a handsome young man like you… I’m sure you would have no trouble finding a good woman.”

Getting slightly uncomfortable with the topic, Aaron shifted on his feet. He’d kept his eyes off Emily on purpose, but now he risked a look. She was standing in front of a painting, seemingly transfixed with the work of art. For once, she looked at ease, no frown between her brows revealing the thoughts going through her quick mind. It was only the second time he’d seen her like this, the first time having been when she’d fallen asleep beside him in that hotel room in Florida. For a little while that night, everything had been perfect, until his conscience had caught up to the situation, and Emily had retreated, as he’d always sort of expected her to. Now he could only wish his actions that night had helped her, at least for a short while. That he’d made her feel safe, warm and cared for. That she’d gotten the message that he’d never abandon her.

“Oh. She is a good woman. Smart. Pretty, too,” marked Mrs. Bianchi, his glance not escaping the woman’s attention.

“How many kids did you say you had?” He inquired, attempting to steer her interest elsewhere. People _always_ loved talking about their kids, after all.

The president’s wife grinned. “Oh, you are quite sneaky, Mr. Shore. I have four children and three grandchildren.”

His strategy to distract Mrs. Bianchi turned out to be effective, and she didn’t bring up his marital status or relationship with Emily again. After the tour was over, he had to admit that there were few places in the world that could compare to this. He wasn’t much of an art connoisseur, but you could tell that a massive amount of work and love had gone into the structures as well as the art itself.

”What did you think about the collections?” He asked Emily when they got back to the hotel.

“They were amazing. Really, thank you so much for asking me to come along.”

“The pleasure was all mine. I- I wanted to do something nice for you, you’ve had it rough since your mom’s passing,” he said quietly.

“Thank you,” she repeated. “Frankly, I think working for you has made a huge difference in my life. I don’t think I’d be doing as well as I am if it wasn’t for this. So don’t think I’m not grateful.”

“I wouldn’t make that mistake. It’s great having you here, and I don’t know how we’ll manage without you next year. That is, if you’re still sure you _want_ to leave.”

She nodded sadly. “I’m sorry, Aaron. I’ve made some long-term plans, and I can’t put them off much longer.”

He nodded. “I understand. Well, my door is always open if you change your mind.”

“I’ll keep that in mind.”

“Good night, Em,” he sighed. They had an early morning flight home coming up, so asking her for a nightcap wasn’t sensible. 

“Night, Aaron.”

***

About a week after their return from Italy, Emily’s phone buzzed with a message at the ungodly hour of 2:45 AM. Her first instinct was to fly into complete panic, that something _really_ awful had happened with Aaron. Her delirious mind raced with thoughts of him being seriously hurt.

It turned out to be nothing of the sort, but rather a photo from Seth, featuring a pink, wrinkled newborn, accompanied by a message.

_We have a son!_

After typing a quick reply to him, she turned onto her back, taking a better look at the baby. He was beautiful, and she marked with amusement that he looked a lot like Seth.  _Hopefully this time next year she’d be expecting one of her own. The biggest difference would be that she’d be alone._ There would be nobody to support her or hold her hand, nobody to admire the baby with. She still hadn’t mentioned her plans to anyone else aside from her doctors, and she wasn’t so sure if she even should. It was a private decision after all, and nobody could make it for her. _Would anyone even understand her desire for a family?_ Somehow her mind always wandered to Aaron when she thought about becoming a mother on her own. _He would not understand._ As close as they were as friends, a wall remained between them. It was her own safety barrier. He’d nearly been the one to bring it down, the only one almost too tempting to lure her injured heart from its shell and believe in love. Staring at the ceiling of her bedroom, she tried a fantasy on for size, because no matter how feeble fantasies were, at least they were safe. _What would it be like to have one of those traditional nuclear families with Aaron?_ A couple of years ago she could’ve still claimed to herself that they weren’t compatible, but the truth was that it wasn’t about  _them._ This was about  _her._ Something inside her was so irreparable that there was no chance of building a future with a life partner, no matter how appealing they were and how compatible they could be as a couple. If anything, though, it was more painful to be aware of their compatibility than to convince herself that it would never work out anyway.

***

The news on the birth of Isi’s baby reached Aaron around 4 AM, with Seth sending him a quick text. He smiled at the message sleepily. This entire situation was still awkward as hell for all of them, but he was glad the guy obviously still viewed and treated him as a friend, no matter how Isabel felt about him.

There would be questions about the baby, but he’d known that for months. They’d made preparations, and he was as equipped to deal with the press on this issue as possible. 

He was scheduled to have a press conference with the President of Latvia later that day, and although he wished for nothing more than that questions to focus on the negotiations, there was no way the press wouldn’t veer off that path.

***

The room was filled with people and cameras as Aaron and his guest took their places in front of the audience. He wished Seth was there, but the guy was with his newborn child, and deservedly so. One of his deputies was substituting for him, but Seth was the best no matter how you sliced it.  Emily had taken her position on the other end of the room, where he could see her standing behind the television cameras. The plan was for both Aaron and the president to give short statements on the progress of their meeting and then the press would be free to pose questions. 

In his own statement, he focused on commending the president and his government for the excellent co-operation the Latvian military did with NATO troops, most of whom were American. The president responded in kind, grateful for the presence and the work the American troops did in Eastern Europe. Perhaps the man downplayed his concerns in public, but in private he had rather candidly revealed to Aaron that the continued increasing Russian military activity in the area was a serious cause for worry, and not only in Latvia, but in their neighboring countries as well. He could only hope that he and the Secretary of Defence had managed to alleviate those fears.

After the niceties were over, it was time for the questions. 

“Mr. Vice President, are there plans to place more American troops in Eastern Europe? Are you concerned about provoking Russia?”

“We will continue to monitor the situation and work closely with our European NATO allies.”

“Mr. President, what were your most important goals for these negotiations and did you achieve them?”

“Our meetings with Vice President Shore and Secretary Miller have been extremely productive. I’m leaving in good spirits.”

“I have a question for Vice President Shore. According to my sources, your former partner recently gave birth to a child. Despite the timing, do you still maintain that you are not the father of the child?”

Aaron cleared his throat, his heart pounding. 

“I released a statement about this several months ago, and nothing has changed,” he replied, as they had agreed with Emily and Seth. The less detail he went into, the better. He hoped he sounded confident, but it wasn’t easy to keep the doubts out of your head. _What if?_ Just because he didn’t want a child with Isabel and she didn’t want one with him didn’t mean they could beat biology. Any child of his would be subject to scrutiny, especially one born under dubious circumstances, and he didn’t want a life like that for Isabel’s son.

“Has Ms. Pardo insisted on a DNA test?” Asked another reported.

“No. Absolutely not,” he huffed. Taking a deep breath, he sook out Emily’s gaze in the back of the room. She was frowning slightly, but as their eyes met, she gave him an encouraging smile. Despite his anxiety, he was going to stand tall and face this. They could talk about this later and plan ahead. 

The questions kept getting worse and worse.“Was Ms. Pardo seeing Mr. Wright at the same time that she was still living with you?” 

“No. We made a mutual decision to go our separate ways.” _Should he cut this short and insist they could only ask questions that actually had something to do with politics? No. This would be over soon anyway, as he had to be in the Capitol in less than half an hour._

***

“You’re being awfully quiet,” said Emily as they began their drive towards the Capitol around 15 minutes later. The quality of the questions hadn’t improved as the press conference progressed, but at least Seth’s deputy had eventually had the good sense to inform everyone that the president had a plane to catch and Aaron himself had other business to attend to. 

He shook his head and tried to give her his most reassuring smile. “Just wondering if I messed up with the questions,” he replied.

“You did fine, Aaron.”

“It was embarrassing being cornered like that in front of the president,” he sighed.

“There are some vultures in the press. It’s going to be okay,” she assured him, placing a hand on top of his on the leather seat.

He almost stopped breathing at her gesture, and didn’t dare to look at her, too terrified of scaring her away. Ever since he’d been bombarded with questions, he’d been hyper focused on doubting everything he thought knew and could trust, wondering if there was even the tiniest possibility that Isabel’s baby was his after all. Emily’s touch had the power to wipe all those things away, even if the effect was only temporary. 

“Are you sorry you’re not in London?” He asked, referring to Kirkman’s big state visit to the United Kingdom.

“Not really. The Queen’s overrated anyway,” she joked.

It took a few hours until he had a chance to be alone and make a call to Isi.

“Isabel?”

“What’s going on?”

“I’m sorry to disturb you, but there’s something… Something I need to know.”

“...All right. What is it?”

Cringing, Aaron closed his eyes. “I… I don’t know if you saw the press conference I gave with the president of Latvia. They asked some questions about your son. I know we’ve been through this before and I promise you that I’d rather tear my own teeth out than ask you this, but is it absolutely certain that Seth is his father?”

He heard his former girlfriend huff angrily on the other end. _This call was a huge mistake._

“I have no idea where you’re getting this crap, Aaron, but Carlo is _not_ your son and therefore none of your concern. Enjoy the relief. If you need more proof, I can send you a photo because he looks just like Seth.”

“Okay. Thank you.”

“After that, I really hope you leave us be. I don’t like being angry all the time, and despite everything, I think you’re a good person, but our lives are on separate paths now.”

“You’re right. I do wish you all the happiness in the world.”

“Thank you. Look, can I give you some advice?”

“I guess so.”

“Sort out your feelings for Emily, before you hurt another woman.”

“I’ll keep that in mind. And Isi?

“What?”

“If your so- Carlo- were mine, I’d want to be there for him.”

“I know. Look, he’s hungry, I need to go.”

“Sure. Bye, and thank you again.”

“You’re welcome, bye.”

The photograph from Isabel arrived as promised, showing an infant who indeed looked a lot like Seth. The proof calmed him down some, but the only certain evidence would still require the results of a DNA test, which he wasn’t about to ask from Isabel for now. He wasn’t going to subject the baby to one just for the sake of his own peace of mind, but there was a chance that Mars or even Kirkman himself would insist on it eventually. 

***

The storm around Isabel and Seth’s son receded within a couple of weeks, just like she’d told Aaron it would. They’d have to keep an eye and ear out for any further developments, but Emily was reasonably confident that this would not force Aaron to step aside from his position. As hard as she had tried to stay up to date on her own, she’d been forced to delegate the task of keeping tabs on any articles pertaining to Aaron to her assistant. Jennifer was very efficient at her job and had taken on the habit of printing out the most important articles and placing them on her desk by lunchtime every day. 

Today there was a photograph on top of the pile. It depicted Aaron and Emily about a week earlier at Columbia University, where Aaron had given a speech on the government’s plans to give equal opportunities for all. She remembered the occasion shown in the photo very clearly: he’d woken up with a sore throat that morning and asked for her mints, but instead of just having a few to be able to finish the speech, he’d eaten the entire box and she’d made him swear to get her another one. The moment had been about mutual teasing and joking around, but the caption the tabloid had printed was much more serious than that: _Is there love in the air? Vice President Shore and his chief of staff Emily Rhodes give each other the look of love in New York on June 12th._

The actual write-up underneath the caption was even worse. _It would seem that Vice President Shore is in the business of eating from the load. His ex-girlfriend gave birth to a son only last week, and some still believe the child to be his. Rumor has it that this isn’t the first time Shore and Rhodes have been connected in a romantic sense. Perhaps we have found the explanation to his sudden breakup with Isabel Pardo._

Okay, so this was only a trashy tabloid, but still. It was poison for Aaron’s credibility as VP. This was a disaster that _she’d_ caused. Why couldn’t she keep her eyes off the man? Even if there was nothing between them, it was still too much. Staring at the article but no longer being able to make out the text, she realized she was hyperventilating. Her first panic attacks had come soon after her mom’s death, but she hadn’t had one since coming back to work for Aaron. 

Gripping the edge of the desk to stop her nails from digging into her palms and drawing blood, she closed her eyes and tried to focus on breathing. She was so far up in her head that she wasn’t aware of no longer being alone on her office.

“Em, is everything all right?” Asked Aaron, his palm on her shoulder. She shook it off as if it were a venomous spider, noticing his consumer and hurt frown.

“No, everything’s not okay. I’m really sorry.”

“About what?”

“The press is jumping to conclusions again.”

“Is this about Isi’s baby again?”

“It’s mentioned, but it’s actually about us…”

“Us? As in you and me?”

“Yeah. Take a look.”

Aaron took in the article with all its glory. _Wow._ That was really all he could say. As much as negative publicity have him heart palpitations, he couldn’t help but etch the photo into his mind. The way Emily looked at him, the way he looked at her. If he was being totally honest, he had to admit he would’ve ended up at the same conclusion as the reporter had. 

 _Why did things have to be so fucking difficult for them?_ Week by week, his own resolve grew. Emily Rhodes was the only woman he wanted to be with, and now he was forced into a position where he’d likely have to vehemently insist that there had never been anything between them and never would be. The second part of that could be the truth, but the first part would be a lie. 

Nevertheless, what mattered now was that his Emily was devastated, practically on the verge of panic over her guilt. He was terrified that any move he made now to soothe her would only make things worse. 

“Emily?” He called out, hoping to stop her thoughts from spiraling.

“I really should resign before this gets worse,” she exhaled, tears glittering in her eyes.

Maybe that would solve this problem, but he wasn’t going to let her go. Not like this.

“No,” he argued back, shaking his head.

“Don’t be stupid, Aaron.”

“I’m not stupid. I _need_ you here with me.”

“They will find out you cheated on Isabel with me,” she whispered.

 _I don’t care._ That was what he wanted to say, but he knew that was the wrong answer to even think about. He was growing tired of living in fear of his mistakes coming out. The pact they’d made with Isabel a few months ago felt like a lifetime ago, and he still wasn’t at peace with the decision. 

“I don’t want to drag you into this,” he finally murmured. “It’s my mess. You’re not a politician.” Sighing, he tried to look at things from her side of the table. Emily was scared. Of course she wouldn’t want to have her name dragged in the papers, especially in conjunction with a man she was too terrified to try and build a relationship with. If she wanted to leave and hide out in Florida again, who was he to stop her? His desire to keep her in D.C was nothing if not totally selfish. 

“If you really want to resign, Em, I won’t stand in your way. I understand if you want to leave.”

“But what about what you just said about needing me?”

“That’s all true, but I want you to do what’s right for _you._ What makes you happy.”

She cocked her head, as if trying to make sense of his words and maybe even his feelings for her. _She wasn’t ready to hear that truth._ But God, how he wanted to touch her, convince her that they’d endure this scandal together, like all the others before it. 

Not knowing what else to do, he sank onto his knees before her chair and covered her hands with his. Immediately she made an attempt to yank her hands back, but he persisted.

“Aaron, get up before someone comes in!” She hissed.

“Not until you listen to me. The last thing I want is for you to be unhappy. So tell me, do you want to leave?”

Their eyes met, and Aaron felt the force of her gaze all the way in his stomach. It took all his willpower not to reach out and touch her cheek, but he resisted the temptation. Emily wasn’t ready, and probably never would be. He was fighting a losing battle, but he wasn’t going to fool himself into thinking he could truly be happy with another woman again. 

“No.” Her answer was a mere whisper. “You know how much I hate giving up, but I think it’s what I need to do.”

“It’s not,” he assured her. 

“You’d have to make a statement to deny everything.”

“I know.” It would be the biggest flat-out lie he had ever told in public. _Would it upset Emily, would she deep down be bothered by it? What would she say if he asked her to define what they’d had? Would she ever be ready for that talk?_

“Do you want me to draw up a preliminary script for you?”

“No, you’ve got enough to do as it is. I can handle this myself.” This was something he was going to fix on his own, and he didn’t want Emily or anyone else putting words into his mouth.

She nodded. “Okay. I guess I’m staying, then?”

“You guess?”

“Unless you changed your mind about wanting me here.”

“I didn’t.”

"In that case I'll stick to my end of the bargain."

***

Later that day, Aaron made sure he had a glass of whiskey right next to him as he sank into his chair and opened up an empty document.

_I have chosen to address the rumors pertaining to the nature of the relationship between my Chief of Staff Emily Rhodes and myself only because they distract us from the important work we are doing for the nation. There is no truth to the allegations; Ms. Rhodes and I are colleagues and have indeed known each other for a long time. However, we are not and have never been involved romantically. She is extremely competent at her job and I ask that you grant us both the peace to focus on our jobs. I will not be making any further statements on this issue._

He read it over and over again, wondering if there was anything he could change or word differently. There was no telling who had told the tabloid about his past with Em, and therefore no chance of knowing if they’d stick to their story and insist he was lying. At least with the wording he’d chosen, he was technically still leaving the door open for the future. _As if Emily would eventually recover from the traumas life had dealt her._ With a groan, he leaned back and rubbed his tired eyes. _This was exactly the kind of stuff he’d never wanted to be involved in._

Picking up his phone, he dialed the number of the only person who could possibly give him an honest opinion on the statement. 

“Seth? Hi, I know you’re busy, but I need your opinion on a statement?”

There was shuffling and a screaming infant in the background as Seth replied “Sure, hold on. I’ve been trying to keep up with everything, but it’s been challenging.”

Aaron chuckled. “I bet.”

“So, what are we dealing with?”

“Someone at the White House has been telling tabloids about me and Emily, that there used to be something between us. Now one of the tabloids has published an article suggesting that we’re involved.”

Seth groaned. “Shit, Aaron. Even I don’t know what to say anymore.”

“Emily wanted to resign, but I convinced her to stay.”

“You know that it would be a hell of a lot easier if she didn’t work for you?”

“I know.”

“Look, I know this isn’t why you called me and you’re totally entitled to telling me to shut my mouth, but I think you and Em need to have a talk. A blind cow could see that there’s something-“

“Then you also know exactly why I can’t do it,” replied Aaron, his tone growing tense. 

“I’m not an idiot, so yeah. But remember your position: you’re the Vice President, and right now you’re going way beyond employer loyalty when it comes to Emily. That’s bound to raise suspicions, no matter what your public statements may say. Are you willing to take the risk? Have you thought this through? I’m asking this as a friend as well as press secretary.”

“I’ve thought about it…” That was as far as he was willing to go with Seth. Admitting how much Emily’s presence meant to him even if they weren’t romantically involved was something he preferred to keep private. 

“Okay. Now email me that statement and I’ll sort you out.”

“Thanks, Seth. And congrats on the baby again. Hope everyone’s doing well.”

“We’re great, just really in need of a good night’s sleep.”

Aaron chuckled again. “I’ve heard it gets better eventually. If you can send the comments over by-“

“You'll have it within the next two hours, Aaron.”

“I don’t need it until tomorrow morning.”

“Doesn’t matter, I’ll get right to it. And I’m coming to the office tomorrow, so I’ll see you then,” said Seth, yawning into the phone.

“See you. Have a good night, Seth. And thanks, I owe you one.”

“No, you don’t. Go home and get some sleep.”

Logging off his computer, he decided to do as Seth suggested, but not before stopping by Emily’s office.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	7. September

_Washington, D.C._

Emily strode briskly towards her apartment in the rainy fall night. The breeze sent her hair flying and she kept pushing it off her face to see ahead. Her umbrella was of no use in this weather, so she eventually put it away with a curse. Although it wasn’t the first time, it felt odd going to work without seeing Aaron, who was currently at the G8 convention in Toronto with Kirkman. As she removed her phone from her jacket pocket to check if she had any new messages, she wondered if he’d call after dinner. There were no new messages from Aaron, but her doctor OBGYN had tried to reach her. It had to be about her hormone level test results. 

Turning to her own street, she decided to call the doctor as soon as she got out of this nasty weather. _What if she had called because there was something wrong with her body? What if she had bad ovary function or something else? God, she shouldn’t even be thinking about this. She should be focusing on her work, as she’d promised._ Nevertheless, she couldn’t help but think about her future. What would come after this. _After Aaron. Would she make a good mother? Should she even be having a child?_ If there was one part of her she didn’t want to transfer to her child, it was her inability to commit and love people. Her child deserved a life full of love and close relationships with others. If she couldn’t be an example of that, would they turn out like her?

There was a man standing in the street, across from her building. It struck her as odd, considering the weather conditions, but she shook it off and dug into her bag for her keys. It wasn’t until the man grabbed her and pushed her against the wall that she noticed he’d crossed the street. She screamed as loud as she could, and her scream echoed on the mostly deserted street. _Could anyone hear her?_ Kicking and hitting and wriggling as hard with all her might, she fought back as her attacker remained mute and tried to drag her to the alley beside her building. The man wasn’t very strong, and she managed to get a few good kicks into his crotch, raising her hopes of being able to get away, right up until she felt the sharp edge of a knife dig into her sternum. 

 _I am going to die._ As the punches landed and the knife sliced, she kept struggling, but this time in vain. Her entire life flashed in front of her eyes. _Her mom. Friends she hadn’t seen for years. Kirkman. Seth. Aaron. She’d never see him again.  
  
_

At some point she lost consciousness, hearing only a few things here and there. There was a third voice. “Hey, get away from her!” She couldn’t move, but at least the beating had stopped and she was instead being shaken.  _  
_ “Ms. Rhodes? Stay with me, I’m calling 911.”

The voice sounded like one she should recognize, but it just hurt too much... Even thinking hurt too much.  
“My neighbor was attacked, she’s in a bad shape, I need an ambulance here right now!”

***

_Toronto, Canada_

It was past 11 PM as Aaron yawned and stretched in his hotel room after the last negotiations of the day were finally over. He was so ready to turn in, maybe watch some late night TV and text Emily. She’d stayed behind in D.C. to get ahead of the bills in the Senate that he needed to know more before they came up for a vote. Nevertheless, he missed her. He’d been feeling a little off for a couple of hours now anyway, so if he was coming down with something, some nice texting and rest would do good. 

A determined knock at his door made him frown. Opening it, he wasn’t surprised to find his Secret Service detail on the other side, looking even more serious than usual. 

“What’s going on?” He asked. 

Harris cleared his throat before speaking. “I’m sorry to disturb you, sir, but I received news from D.C. that I believe you’d want to hear right away.”

Aaron’s legs turned numb and he swallowed anxiously. “You’re starting to scare me, Harris. What’s wrong?”

“It’s Ms. Rhodes, sir. She was attacked outside her apartment building-“

“Is she- she’s alive, isn’t she?”

“Yes, sir. She’s been taken to hospital, but-“

“I want to talk to her doctor, right now.”

“Yes, sir. I’ll make that happen.”

_Kirkman. He had to know. Seth, too._

“Does the president know about this?” He asked. Kirkman was in another hotel, probably getting ready to turn in like he’d been. Not anymore, though. He had to go home as soon as possible. 

Harris nodded. “He’s being informed as we speak.”

“Good. Get her doctor on the phone for me, okay?”

“Right away, sir.”

He closed the door and took a seat to wait. It was impossible. Fiddling with his phone, he considered calling Seth, but it was better to wait until he knew more. God, he wanted Emily on the phone, hear her voice and know she was going to be all right. Crossing his hands, he did something he hadn’t done in ages. _Prayed. Please, God, let her make it. Let her be okay._

“Sir? I have the doctor for you right here,” called out Harris from the other side of the door. He yanked it open and snagged the phone.

“Hello? This is Vice President Shore. How’s Emily Rhodes doing?”

“Hello, sir. This is Doctor Blake from the ER. She was brought here around 30 minutes ago in critical condition, but she’s holding on and we’re going to operate on her very soon.”

The two words the doctor had spoken had already frozen his soul. _Critical condition._ His brilliant, beautiful Emily. _No._

“Is she awake?” He asked hoarsely.

“I’m afraid no, sir. We’re going to keep her sedated for at least the next 24 hours.”

“Is- is she going to live?” He asked, his voice breaking.

“I’ll be able to give a better prognosis once she’s out of surgery.”

“So you don’t know? How can you fucking not know?” Shouted Aaron, although he knew exactly how unreasonable and inappropriate he was being. The doctor was doing her best, but that just wasn’t enough. It would never be enough if Em didn’t survive. 

“I- I’m very sorry, sir. All I can tell you is that I believe her neighbor may have saved her life. Apparently he was the one who found her and called 911.”

“Thank you. I want constant updates on her status, do you understand me?”

“Yes, sir. I will give you a call as soon as she’s out of surgery.”

Another knock sounded at his door. “Sir, the president is asking for you.”

“I’ll be right there.” He’d tell Kirkman he wanted to return to D.C immediately. Being at Emily’s bedside had to be the first priority.

The president was visibly distraught when Aaron walked in. _Good._ Anger rose up in his gut on behalf of Emily. 

“What do you know, Aaron?”

“She’s going into surgery. I talked to her doctor, but she wouldn’t give me much at this point,” he said, holding onto the back of a chair to stop Kirkman from seeing he was shaking with fear. After all the things he'd seen, especially in the last few years, this was the one that was turning out to be too much.  _Too close to home._

Kirkman sighed. “I can’t believe this happened to her.”

“That makes two of us. Do you know anything about the attack? Did they catch them?”

Shaking his head, the president approached him. “Not even the Secret Service could tell me much. They haven’t caught the people who did this to her.”

“I still don’t understand… The area where she lives shouldn’t be like this.”

“It’s not,” said Kirkman. Raising his eyes from the floor, Aaron looked at the president; somewhere among all the bitterness and disappointment between Emily and her former boss and father figure, he’d managed to forget that Kirkman must’ve visited Emily in her apartment more than once before he became president. He would know. 

“I think it would be for the best if I returned to D.C as soon as possible,” he replied, finally bringing up the most important topic they had to discuss.

As Kirkman removed his reading glasses and took a seat at the table, Aaron saw the same man he’d come across the night the Capitol had been bombed. Kind-hearted and insecure, confused and intelligent. 

“I understand, Aaron, I really do. But can we at least wait until we have more information on this?”

“She could be dying! Hell, she could be dead by the time I get home! Do you want her to die alone?” He accused.

Kirkman glared at him. “Of course I don’t! But we don’t know anything! Sit down and wait!” He spat back, and despite his anger, Aaron felt bad. This man had lost the love of his life all of a sudden, with no chance to say goodbye. No matter how selfish it was, he could only pray that after tonight they wouldn’t be in the same boat.

“Okay. I’ll wait until she’s out of surgery,” he conceded.

“Good. Now, how about we call Seth and ask if he could go to the hospital? I agree with you that it’s important for someone to be there for Emily.”

“Yeah, let’s do that.”

They had Seth on speaker within a minute.

“Seth? It’s me and Aaron. There’s been… An incident, and we need your help.”

“Oh God. How bad is it?”

Leaning forward, Aaron opened his mouth. “Emily was attacked on her way home from work. They’re operating on her right now,” he interjected, his voice weaker than he wanted it to be. 

“God, no. Is she- how bad is it?” Seth sounded as frantic as he and Kirkman were. 

“She was critical when they brought her to the hospital.”

“Do you want me to try to find out more?”

“Can you go to the hospital?” Asked Kirkman.

“Of course, sir. It would be… She’s my friend.”

“I know, Seth. This is hard for all three of us,” replied Kirkman, eyeing Aaron. “If you see her, please let her know we’re thinking about her,” he continued.

“I'll to that, sir, and I'll keep you posted if I find out anything.”

As they ended the call with Seth, Aaron slumped into a chair. There was nothing to do but wait and he hated that more than anything. 

***

After the ambulance and the two EMTs, Emily's mind turned fuzzy. She had no idea how much time had passed when she blinked her eyes at the bright lights of the room, seeing a man pacing the length of the space.

“Aaron?” She asked, already embarrassed because she had to be hallucinating. Aaron was in Toronto. Nevertheless, the man turned and quickly strode over to her. It was indeed Aaron.

“How are you? Do you need anything? The doctor? Water?” He asked. She looked into his handsome face, observing a stubble on his chin and shadows under his eyes. 

“How come you’re here? You should be in Toronto.”

He frowned at her, concern taking over his features. “The summit ended yesterday, Em. I- I came as soon as it was over. You’ve been out for a while. Look, I’ll get the doctor and he’ll explain everything to you.”

Of course he hadn’t left the G8 summit for her. How her delirious mind had cooked up the idea was beyond her understanding, even more than that fact that she’d apparently been out for days.

”I don’t need a doctor right now,” she said, shaking her head.

“Okay, if you say so. The police want to talk to you too, but they can wait until you're ready.”

Emily closed her eyes, the painful memories a mess in her brain. Maybe forgetting the details was a blessing. 

“Am I going to be okay?” She asked, refusing to acknowledge the tears that burned behind her eyes. _How badly had the bastards hurt her?_

Aaron placed his hand on her arm, barely applying pressure. _It had to be bad, but how bad?_  “The doctor will fill you in, but as far as I know, you’re going to be fine.”

Emily made an attempt to nod, but it hurt too much. Still, her concern was soothed by his reassuring words and she let herself slump against the mattress. This was the man she trusted more than anyone else in the world. “Thank you,” she exhaled. 

“Are you in pain?” Asked Aaron softly.

“A little, but it’s not too bad.” There was clearly something strong in her system, which had dulled her pain into a throb. There was no part of her that hurt more than the others. 

“Are you sure?”

“Yeah. Look… There’s something I need to talk to you about before I talk to the police,” she began. Telling Aaron the truth about the attack was imperative; he could be in danger too. As much as she hated thinking about what had happened, the lucid part of her mind knew that she’d have to recount the events more than once, whether she liked it or not. The downside to telling Aaron everything was that he’d blame himself. 

“What is it?”

“It’s about the attack.”

He shifted in his chair, leaning forward as if hanging onto her every word.

“Em… We don’t have to talk about this right now,” he said, swallowing. “You need to get your strength back.”

His voice was soft, gentle and she wanted to sleep, but she couldn’t hold it inside and possibly risk Aaron’s life. 

She tried not to look at him, because what she had to remember would hurt him. 

“I was on my way home from work as usual… There was a man standing outside the next building, which I thought was weird, but I didn’t let it bother me. I reached for my keys and had my back to the street, and that’s when the guy attacked. I- I fought back, kicked and screamed, and for a while I thought I’d be able to get inside and call 911, but then the second guy showed up… One of them had a knife… Then I heard them yell… _You’re a race traitor, sleeping with that spic. A shame, a pretty girl like you could’ve had anyone.”_

Aaron had gone deathly pale. “They attacked you because of _me_?”

“You could be in danger, there could be an entire organization behind this-“ _What if there was a terrorist organization full of white supremacists that weren’t currently being taken seriously?_

“I need to go, Em,” he interrupted her, his voice shaky. He didn’t sound like himself at all. “I’ll be back tomorrow,” he promised. “But you should talk to the cops as soon as you feel up for it. You need a guard outside your door full-time. I’ll make sure that happens before I leave, so don’t worry about that.”

“Aaron, please-“ she pleaded, unsure what she was even begging for. 

“It’s okay, I promise. I’m okay. There’s something I need to do, but you’re safe here now. Those assholes won’t get to you here.”

She wanted to ask him if he was _really_ okay, because it sure as hell didn’t seem like it, but she just felt _so_ exhausted. Aaron’s hand was on her shoulder, keeping her calmer as she sank back into sleep.

***

Closing the door to his bedroom, Aaron enjoyed in the privacy it provided, because he was still shaking with rage. Keeping it inside of him during the car ride had taken a toll, and now he was _done_. 

Simply being who he was had led to Emily lying in that hospital bed. Those people didn’t want her, they wanted _him,_ but there was no way to get to him, so they’d gone after her. _Cowards._ That was what terrorists always were, wasn’t it? 

Growling, he balled his right fist and struck at the nearest wall with all the strength he had in that arm. It took a few precious pain free seconds for him to understand that he hadn’t punched a light drywall, but a wall of solid brick. 

The pain that followed was excruciating and spread throughout his arm all the way to his shoulder. Yet all he could think about was Emily, and the pain she must’ve been in. Broken knuckles? _Easy-peasy._

“Sir, is everything alright?” Asked Harris, rapping on his door. He must’ve been having a hard time simply not breaking through the door.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Had a run-in with a wall,” he admitted, opening the door. 

Harris stared at his hand, it was beginning to swell. “You need medical attention,” he said, his tone devoid of humor. 

“Not as much as my chief of staff. She was attacked by white supremacists.”

The agent nodded in understanding. “Is there anything I can do to help?”

“Actually, there is. I need you to get your boss on the phone for me. I want to be kept up to date on all developments concerning the investigation.” Em should be safe for the time being, with local police officers keeping watch. His personal request had been enough of a pull to make that happen, but he was already thinking about a long-term solution. 

“Of course, Sir. Right now we need to have your hand looked at, though.”

“Might as well. I have to go back to Emily, anyway.”

While he held a bag of ice on his swollen knuckles as he sat in the car, he was still seething, his heart raced every time he thought about what had taken place. Those pieces of shit would suffer, he’d make sure of that. He didn’t remember being this angry as an adult. The last time he’d felt this kind of rage was as a teenager, when you were technically supposed to be angry. He’d been in his share of fistfights back then, but as VP he couldn’t make things right that way. 

Rubbing his eyes, he realized what an absolute moron he had been to leave Emily by herself like that, even though she had been asleep when he left her room. She may not have said it aloud, but she needed someone there, but he’d been too upset over her story to think about it.  

***

The doctors and nurses did a quick job with his hand, x-raying it before confirming what Aaron had already figured out himself.

It eased his worry to see two uniformed officers outside Emily’s hospital room. She was dozing when he walked inside, so he took a seat next to the bed and waited for her to wake up. 

"Hey," she said. "You're back."

"Yeah... Look, I'm sorry I left in the first place, I shouldn't have."

"I was out for a while after you left, and then I talked to the police."

Aaron nodded. "That's good."

"Those men are still on the loose," she croaked.  “I know it’s the drugs in me, but I’m scared,” she admitted, the tears flowing freely now. He’d never seen her like this and wished there was something else he could do except sit beside her.

“I'm scared that the doctors are wrong and I won’t make a full recovery… That the men who attacked me come back.”

“The police is right outside the door, Em,” he explained gently. “They wouldn’t get inside even if they tried. And they’ll be caught, it’s just a matter of time.”

It was as if she couldn’t hear him. “I don’t even have any next-of-kin anymore. Not really, anyway. I don’t want my dad here no matter what.”

“You’ve got me. You’ve _always_ got me,” he assured her. Expecting her to tell him she didn't need him, she surprised him.

“Please don’t leave me alone in this,” she begged, reaching for him. He pulled her into his arms, his heart in splinters. Emily was so strong and now those SOBs had put her into this state. 

“I won’t, I promise. You don’t have to be strong now, just focus on recovering. Let me deal with everything else.”

She let him hold her and rock her, her arms wrapped around him tightly. If only her mother was still here. Instead her only living close relative was her dad, who could only claim to be that in name. _Would he show up again once he heard about her to try to take advantage of her in some way?_

***

The next morning Emily was already feeling more alert, and even had breakfast before the doctor came in for her morning rounds. Aaron had left before anyone came in with her breakfast, but promised to come back as soon as he could. She wondered when she’d feel strong enough to tell him to forget about her and focus on running the country. 

“Good morning, good to see you awake, Ms. Rhodes,” greeted the woman, flashing her a bright grin. "I checked up on you a couple of times last night, but you were asleep. How are you feeling?"

"I’m glad to be here, after what happened…”

“Yeah, you took quite a beating.”

“I want to know how bad it is, Doctor. All of it.”

The doctor sat down on the edge of her bed and gave her a sympathetic smile. “Of course… When you were brought in, it was touch-and-go for a while. You were critical. You had a collapsed lung with broken ribs as well as multiple stabbing wounds and contusions and bruises all over your body. When you came out of surgery, we had to sedate you for a while. Your body _will_ heal, however. There’s a long path ahead of you, but you can eventually go back to work.”

She nodded. The news was pretty much as she’d expected, but it was still painful to hear all of it, as hard as she tried to think positively that physically nothing was broken that couldn’t be fixed. 

After her talk with the doctor, Emily’s self control begun to crumble for good. Yes, her body would heal as Aaron had assured her, but it was the details of the injuries that she’d made the doctor give her, the realization that her neighbor had truly saved her life. _That_ was how close she’d been to dying. Suddenly she no longer wanted to be left alone with her thoughts. Mortality could be a scary thing to process, despite her being somewhat intimately familiar with the subject after the last months with her mom. She could’ve had the company of a friendly nurse, but she didn’t want that. Neither did she want a friend like Seth. _Aaron. He was the only one she wanted there._ It wasn’t good for her at all, but as they said, the heart wants what it wants. As she felt nowhere close to her regular self, she decided to forgive herself this inherent weakness. _Aaron who made her believe things that otherwise seemed impossible._ Maybe even make her forget that she'd be dead right now without her kind older neighbor, Mr. Bernard. It had taken her a while to figure out exactly who had come to her aid, but now that she knew, she was going to thank him in person.

The door swung open after 7 PM as Aaron returned. "Hi. Have you managed to eat anything?" He asked, removing his jacket. 

"A little... Their food here isn't the greatest, though."

"Which is why I brought pizza," he grinned, returning to the door to accept two boxes from Luke, one of his regular Secret Service agents.

"Please tell me it's pepperoni," she groaned.

"Did you think I could really forget about your favorite pizza toppings?"

They ate in silence, and afterward she convinced Aaron to talk about his day as she closed her eyes, listening to his voice, taking in the scent of his cologne, of the shower gel and shampoo he used. He was _nothing_ like the men who’d beaten her up. Right then she could allow herself to think she was safe with him.

Miscellaneous thoughts swam in and out of her mind as she drifted in and out of consciousness. All of a sudden she realized something. Immediately her eyes shot open, darting to Aaron’s right hand. The bandage she saw made her frown. 

“What’s wrong with your hand?” She asked.

“Freak accident,” he offered.

That was such bullshit, and she didn’t even need to be totally lucid to be able to tell that. 

“Liar,” she exhaled.

“It’s only a splint, Em. Will be gone in less than three weeks, and no, I didn’t hit another person. Stop worrying about me,” he murmured from his chair, sounding as if he were half asleep already. She wanted him to stay with her like he eventually had the night before, although it was both crazy and inappropriate. The police would protect her, and Aaron was her boss.  _And her friend._

“I’ll stop worrying about you when I no longer work for you,” she replied, and although it was meant as a joke, she felt him stiffen in response. 

“You should get some rest,” he said. 

Somehow she did fall asleep, and when she woke up sometime later, she was lying on her back in the bed. At first she was sure Aaron had to be long gone by then, but shallow snores coming from her right told another story. Turning her head, she found him lying on a second hospital bed they must’ve wheeled in just for him. 

She thought about her mom’s last moments, how she’d spent so much time in that bed of hers. Now she was confined to hers for God knew how long. _Karma. She was getting what she deserved for what she’d done._ The sobs that escaped her chest weren’t painless, nor apparently soundless because she heard Aaron shift on his mattress and then call out her name.

“Emily? What is it?” He asked.

“Am I… I killed my mom, so I’m a murderer,” she spilled, not sure if she was making even any sense.

“Oh, Em… You were trying to do what your mom asked you. Her request was unfair to begin with, nobody should have to do that to someone they love. You’re not a murderer, you’re not a bad person,” he told her gently, and she wanted to believe him so bad that she lifted her palm and waited for him to take it. She didn’t have to wait long. 

“I’m a liar, a cheater and a murderer,” she whispered.

“Everyone lies. I’m the one you should blame for the cheating, and you’re still not a murderer. Nobody’s perfect, but that doesn’t mean you deserve to suffer. You didn’t do anything to deserve what happened to you.”

“Why does life have to be so fucked up?” She asked.

Aaron chuckled. “You tell me.”

“Don’t you have somewhere to be?” 

“I’m right where I’m needed. Unless you ask me to leave.”

“Maybe tomorrow,” she murmured, half joking, too tired to truly put her Chief of Staff hat on and determine exactly how destructive this could be for Aaron and the rest of the administration if he allowed himself to overreact in public. There was no denying that this was taking a toll on Aaron and she drank the tenderness and care he showed towards her with the thirst of someone who hadn’t seen water in days, but it was nothing but a recipe for a disaster.

***

After a homeland security briefing the next day, Seth pulled Aaron aside. 

“What is it?” Aaron asked, irritated at the interruption. The sooner he got these meetings over with, the sooner he could go back to Emily. 

“You’ve got to get yourself under control.”

“What are you talking about?”

“Don’t play dumb with me, Aaron. I’m talking about your fucking hand! You’re spiraling, man!”

“Am not.”

“You have to stop thinking about this with your heart! You have to act like the Vice President, who has no romantic connection to anyone, much less his chief of staff. Right now you’re acting like a concerned spouse. And you’re not as good at hiding it as you’d like to think.”

“Seth-“

“I’m not finished yet. I know if you believed there was a chance of a happy ending for you guys, you would’ve already talked to her, you've had a gazillion chances. You haven’t, so I suggest you listen to me. If you really care about Em, you need to let her finish her job with you _honorably._ Even if the public never finds out, even someone like Mars knowing would have consequences neither one of us wants for her. And that’s only her part of the equation. I hate to be the guy to say this, but you’ve got a job to do, too.”

“You don’t think I know that?” Aaron hissed.

“Sometimes I think you don’t. Sometimes I think you’re so consumed by never really expressing your feelings for her and frustrated over your botched love story that it’s the only thing you see. It’s time to wake up.”

“You want me to abandon her? She asked me not to leave her alone. She _begged_ me, Seth. What am I supposed to do?”

“Not spend every free minute of the day you have with her, that’s for sure. Stop being so transparent. You’re a resourceful guy, I know you can find a way to help her. You convinced her to come back here and work for you, after all. You’re hardly helpless, and you’re not alone either. _Ask for help.”_

Thinking Seth had to be done, the press secretary suddenly laid a hand on his shoulder.

“You were imagining it was the guy who attacked Emily when you hurt your hand, weren’t you?”

“What if I was?”

“I’d tell you that if we weren’t VP and press secretary, I’d be up for some vigilante justice, too," he admitted.

With that, Seth strode off, leaving him to his own devices. Sighing, Aaron locked himself into his own office and picked up his phone. Maybe Seth had a point. He wanted to talk to someone who could see things from another perspective and still understand what an attack like this truly meant. 

_“Aaron? What’s going on?”_

_“I need your help, Nadia.”_

_“What can I do for the Vice President?”_

Even though he was aware that his cousin was only joking, he cut her off. _“I’m not asking as Vice President, but as your cousin.”_

_“All right. Tell me.”_

_“This will be on the news soon enough, but for now you’re one of the only people who knows. Emily was attacked a few days ago, and it was a racially motivated attack.”_

_“What? Why would they attack her-“_

_“Because they think I’m involved with her.”_

_“Are you?”_

_“No, but that’s not even the point here. You know that.”_

_“I do know. I’m sorry, Aaron. That’s awful. But you know these things happen, this time it just hit closer to home. This is why it’s important to call those guys what they are.”_

_“Terrorists?”_

_“Exactly. And this happened despite you trying so hard to not be-“_

_“Can we not talk about this right now?”_

_“I think this is exactly the right time to talk about this. I love you, but as you can see, nothing you do to mask your background matters to these people. You can’t protect anyone by hiding.”_

_“I promise I’ll think about all this, and we can talk more later, but right now- that favor?”_

_“Okay. What is it?”_

_“I can’t be with Emily at the hospital as much as I’d like to, but she needs someone.”_

_“And you want me to be that someone to keep her company? I don’t even know her,” sighed Nadia._

_“I know, but… I can’t think of anyone else I trust. I think she’d like you, and you’d like her.”_

_“You love her. You wouldn’t be asking this if you didn’t.”_

_“This is another topic I’d rather not discuss.”_

_“Is this why things ended with Isabel, too?”_

_“No. Well, yes and no.”_

_“So it’s a yes, then. I liked her, but… You’ve known Emily much longer than her, right?”_

_“I have. Will you do it?”_

_“I hope things work out. Can I at least say that?”_

_“Fine.”_

_“I’ll help you, as long as you promise to think about what I said. There’s always a middle way, Aaron.”_

***

Emily’s replacement phone was delivered sometime during the day while she slept, and for that she was grateful, despite having little strength to reply to all the messages she’d received. There were dozens of well wishes from current as well as past colleagues. She’d also received a beautiful card and flowers from Kirkman, with him and Penny sending their best wishes and promising to visit her soon. Believing that everything could be forgiven and forgotten only because of her attack was unrealistic, but the gesture made her tear up. The two messages on her phone that she was determined to answer were from Aaron and Seth. 

_Hope you’re feeling better and taking the opportunity to rest. Stuck in a boring meeting on tax reform. Will be there later._

Groaning, she couldn't believe she wished she was at a tax reform meeting. It was also becoming increasingly difficult to decide what to say to Aaron, especially after the show she'd been putting on since her attack, exposing way too much of herself. There had to be a way to retreat safely. The reply she typed for him was short. _See you._

_So glad to hear you’re on the mend. Stay strong, Em. Can I stop by tomorrow?_

Seth’s text was easier to answer. She told him he was welcome anytime. The guy had come to the hospital to make sure she wasn’t alone when Aaron had still been in Toronto, and she appreciated it and his friendship more that she could ever begin to express. 

When the door opened, she expected to see her doctor or perhaps a nurse. However,  as a distantly familiar figure stuck her head into her room and smiled at Emily uncertainly, she frowned.

“Hi,” said the woman. 

“Uh, hi.” 

“Do you remember me? I’m Aaron’s cousin. Nadia?”

“Yeah, I remember! Sorry, I haven’t been at my best recently,” she joked.

“You don’t have to apologize. Aaron told me what happened to you.”

Emily nodded.  _Had Aaron sent his cousin?_

“I hope you don’t mind me visiting, Aaron just thought that since he can’t be here as often as he’d like, that you might like some company.”

“I don’t mind at all.”

“Great. I took the liberty of bringing you some snacks and magazines.”

“That’s so sweet, thank you so much, Nadia.”

Although she was more than confused by the sudden appearance of Aaron’s cousin, she couldn’t claim that she didn’t appreciate the company. Hospitals were boring places, at least for the patients, and she didn’t need as much sleep as a few days before. In fact, she’d been giving asking her deputy to bring or send her laptop to her some serious consideration. Chances were that it would be confiscated, though. Maybe she could wait for at least a few more days before starting to work from her hospital bed.    
  
Her phone buzzed with another message.

”Is it from Aaron?” Asked Nadia with a knowing smile. 

“Yeah, he wants to know if you’re here.”

”Such a control freak.”

”He is.”

”He was really sorry he couldn’t be here.”

The more she thought about it, the more obvious it became. Aaron spending too much time with her in the hospital would look odd, even though their friendship was technically common knowledge. It was a smart move, she had to admit. At least it meant that someone was looking over his best interests while she recovered, and it would give her the opportunity to back out- if not directly take back- some of the things she'd said. At the same time her stupid heart wished he could stay with her more. As tired as she was to always have to think about the optics when it came to Aaron, the truth was that without his position she’d still be in Florida. They would’ve parted ways for good months ago. So she should be grateful for this time. It would end soon enough anyway, and she’d start a new life, only involving her and hopefully a child.

“You mind if I turn this on?” Asked Nadia, motioning to the TV screen on the wall.

”Sure, go ahead.” 

“I should probably put it on some comedy, but I would I be right if I claimed you’d prefer CNN?”

Chuckling, Emily nodded. “Yeah, you’d be onto something there. I haven’t watched the news in days.”

”As long as you don’t tell Aaron that I enabled your workaholic habits.”

”Promise.”

Nadia turned the volume on as soon as the studio guest could be recognized. 

“Isabel is damned good at her job,” murmured Nadia, her eyes on the screen.

“Yeah, she is. How- was your family upset when she and Aaron broke things off?”

Nadia shrugged. “Maybe a little, because everyone thought that a woman like her would do him good, but I think everyone understands that if they weren’t happy, this was for the best.”

“I hope this doesn’t come off as insensitive, but does it matter to your family if he’s with someone- with a similar background or not?”

The other woman’s eyes narrowed, whether in anger or amusement, Emily couldn’t really tell. “Are you asking me if my family would mind Aaron dating or even _marrying_ a white woman?”

Well. _Kind of._ Squeezing her eyes shut, Emily cursed at herself. _This was so not on the list of appropriate topics to discuss with Aaron’s cousin._

“Oh, no, no. Calm down, I’m just teasing you. You two have a long road behind you, it’s okay to ask.”

“I didn’t mean anything by it, I swear-“

“Right. Well, in case you did, my answer would be that it depends on the woman. You’d be good for him.”

“He’s my boss.”

“Aren’t you leaving the position after this year?”

“Yeah.”

“So what’s the problem then? You have only three more months left. You’ve already waited years, what’s a few more months?”

“It’s complicated.”

Nadia rolled her eyes. “It always is, if you want to make it so. You’re just as stubborn as Aaron, that’s for sure.”

“We’re similar in that way, I guess.”

Her phone buzzed again.

_Your attackers have been caught. Police doing interrogations as we speak._

Aaron's message made her eyes fill with tears again. They weren't going to come after her again. _Thank you,_ she replied.

"Is something wrong?" 

Emily shook her head. "No, it's the opposite, really. Aaron says the men who attacked me have been found."

"That's amazing news! I hope they end up with the punishment they deserve."

"Me too." 

***  
  


For the next week Aaron came by every day, but never stayed long. Every time he walked out of the room, she missed him, despite the texts she sent her when he was gone.    

It was a later afternoon and Emily was napping, her back turned to the door. By now she felt calmer and less scared of the possibility of her attackers or their friends showing up to finish her off. Every time those fears threatened to take over her again, she repeated to herself that she had cops standing outside her door and the men were in jail anyway. Yet, it was hard to accept that right now she couldn't defend herself.  _Like she couldn't defend herself that night, either._

The door opened, bringing in a current of air and a wave of noise from the hallway. She smiled sleepily, both hearing the greetings of the officers outside the door as well as recognizing the familiar waft of cologne and fresh coffee. _Probably just the way she liked hers, too._ Refusing to interrupt her sleep, Aaron settled into the chair on the other side of her bed. 

For a short while, it was all nice and quiet, until there was a knock at the door. She jumped automatically, shivers going down her spine and her heart racing until her mind figured that any threats would not try to enter the room by knocking. On his feet already, Aaron padded to the door and opened it. 

The voice she heard next was another familiar one, but certainly not a welcome one. _Her father._

“Aren’t you-“ stuttered her dad, likely staring at Aaron. Emily bit into her lip, enjoying hearing the man squeal like that. If it was even possible, after her mom's death, she was even angrier at him than before. Her mom deserved a better ending than the one she got, especially considering that the man who had donated her half of her DNA was off God-knew-where, still using people and still not giving a shit about the family he abandoned. Dave Rhodes was never going to change.

“Yeah, I am who you think I am," Aaron's tone was cold as ice.

“I came to see my daughter.”

“She doesn’t want to see you.”

“All I know is that she was violently attacked and that I’m her only living close relative. So will you please-”

“You gave up the right to call yourself that when you left her, and then came back years later only to use her.”

“I don’t see how this is any of your business-“

“You were supposed to protect her, but she’s never recovered from what you did. You don’t deserve to be her father. Do her a favor and leave her alone.”

“I- you have no right to attack me-“ he stammered angrily.

“I’m not _attacking_ you, Mr. Rhodes. I’m only telling you the truth, and now I kindly suggest that you get out of this hospital and never come back.”

Her father scoffed, and Emily was sure he'd continue arguing with Aaron, but seeing the guns on the Secret Service agents outside likely changed his mind and Aaron closed the door again. 

“Thank you,” she whispered, done feigning sleep.

“For what?”

“For the prince-of-darkness act and getting rid of my dad. I didn’t have the strength to deal with him.”

Aaron chuckled. “Prince-of-darkness act?”

“Yeah. The one you do when you want to intimidate people. You kind of used to do it with me too, back all those years ago.”

He laughed again. “With all due respect, your dad’s an idiot.”

“I’m not going to disagree with that assessment. You gave him what he deserved.”

“It was my pleasure.”

She looked up at him, meeting his intense gaze. He had protected her from her father, scared him away while acting as if the man was nothing but a dead bug in the bottom of his shoe. _What was there not to love about that?_ Despite all her promises and conviction to keep him at an arm’s length, she grasped his tie and pulled him down for a kiss. He came eagerly, even more so when she released his tie and placed her hand on his chin instead. The roughness she felt under her fingertips was sexy, even though it would surely leave a mark on her skin. Aaron deepened the kiss, but still didn’t touch her. She'd tried to distance herself from him again for the last week or so, but this was definitely the exact opposite of all the work she'd done to make him forget how vulnerable she'd allowed herself to be around him.

Afterward she liked to think it was the drugs in her system that made her do it, but there was barely anything going into her veins anymore as she was well on her way to recovery. Therefore she chalked it up to it being another one of her heat-of-the-moment things, the kind of actions she usually ended up regretting bitterly. 

When it finally sunk in that this was surely one of the worst ideas she’d ever had, she wrenched herself away from him. “I really shouldn’t have done that. Forget-“

But Aaron shook his head as he got to his feet, looking seriously hurt. “No, Em. I know this is how you deal with things you wish hadn’t happened, but _I’m_ not like that. You think everything can be wiped away by just never talking about it again, but that’s self betrayal, which I do happen to know a thing or two about. I won’t forget about this, like I haven’t forgotten about anything that’s happened between us. You can refuse to talk about it for the rest of our lives, but that doesn’t mean I’ll forget,” he said, heading for the door. Rendered speechless, she watched him leave, unable to do anything about it. 

***

"She needs Secret Service protection," Aaron argued, sitting opposite to Kirkman in the Oval Office.

"I'd have to sign an executive order on that."

"Which is why I'm here, asking you to do it."

Kirkman shook his head, the gesture making Aaron's blood boil. "You have good arguments, but the truth is, if I do this for her, then it could be argued that people like Isabel and Seth should have it, too. They're prominent members of my staff and represent minorities."

"Yet so far Emily's the only one who's ended up in the hospital."

"That's true, and I promise to consider it. However, I can't make a decision on that right now."

"She's going to be released from the hospital soon, and the police won't be there to guard her apartment."

"Even so, I still can't make the decision now," repeated the president. 

Frustrated, Aaron left the Oval. He wouldn't have a lot of options to help Em, unless Kirkman came through eventually. Worn out and terrified, he wrote the letter he'd never wanted to write.

***

His hand shaking, he handed the envelope over to Emily. It _was_ ridiculous to keep having this discussion over and over again, but she needed an out. Deserved one. Nobody deserved to be attacked in the manner Emily had been. Their tragic romance of whatever you could call it was a mere drop in the sea, but if she left now, they really wouldn’t have to talk about it either. _Ever._ He would never forget that kiss, just as he’d told her, but some things were infinitely more important than how he felt. Such as her life. 

“What’s this?” She asked, frowning.

“Just open it,” he sighed, sinking into the chair beside her bed as she ripped the envelope open.

“Aaron…” She started, barely having taken in the first words of the document. “You’re _firing_ me?” 

“God, no! You were brutally attacked because of me, and that can never happen again.  I would never… You’ve done an amazing job, but what if you’d been killed?”

“For a while I thought they _were_ going to kill me,” she admitted quietly, her voice so low that he could barely hear her. A tear landed on one of the bruises on her cheek, but she reached for it herself, wiping it off. 

He swallowed. “Hence why I’m offering to terminate your employment, effective immediately. Of course I’ll make sure you won’t have to pay a dime of the medical costs, so don’t worry about that.” He wasn’t knowledgeable enough on the medical insurance policies to figure if it would cover everything once Emily no longer worked for him, but if it didn’t, he’d pay for it out of his own pocket. 

“I understand why you’re doing this, Aaron, but I wish you wouldn’t blame yourself for what happened to me,” she said.

“Too late. And it _was_ my fault.”

“No, it was the white supremacists’ fault. And they’re still locked up, right?”

“Yeah, but those two pea-brains aren’t the only white supremacists in the tri-state area, Em. This could happen again.” He hated fear-mongering, but after his talk with Kirkman and the Secret Service, he had to be honest with her. 

She nodded, swallowing. There was genuine fear in her eyes and he wished he could promise her continued police or Secret Service protection. Kirkman still hadn’t gotten back to him about a possible executive order, but he was actually hopeful about it. 

“Kirkman sent his regards,” he told her. She didn't have to know about his ongoing argument with the president.

“Thank you. He also sent me some flowers _again_ as well as this,” she replied, pointing at a box of chocolates. _Godiva._

“They’re your favorite, aren’t they?”

“Yeah. I don’t ever remember telling _you_ that, though.”

“Sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for,” she sighed. 

“That’s where you’re wrong. I asked you to come work for me, and I didn’t even think that something like this could happen, and that’s what I should be sorry for.”

“You had no previous experience on being VP, and all your recent predecessors had families and thus protection. There was no way to predict this. I'm not leaving because of this, Aaron."

Because that was how brave she was. He nodded, taking back the letter. "I promise to do everything I can to stop this from happening again." And he would stand by that.

***

As he sat in the car on his way home from the hospital, he returned to his talks with his cousin, even the ones with Isi that had always led to heated arguments and made him feel like she didn't understand him. Regardless of how he acted, what he did or how he wanted people to perceive him, to some people he would always be Mexican, and nothing else. No matter what, he wasn’t going to let a bunch of white supremacists win. He would make sure they knew he would stand up against anything they threw at him, even if it forced him to leave his comfort zone. Emily and every single other person suffering from the acts of these criminals deserved an administration that cracked down on the issue.

 _How was he supposed to live with himself if he didn’t_ _do_ _everything humanly possible to stop this from happening?_ And not just to people he knew, but innocent strangers. After all _,_ He had weapons at his disposal that not even Kirkman possessed. He was going to become _Aaron Rivera._ It didn’t matter that his own mind wasn’t completely at ease with the idea, because he would get used to it. This could be the middle way Nadia had been talking about. This was his country and he'd be damned if he let racists take over it, especially when he hadn't used up all his options.

Picking up his phone, he dialed. “Mars? Hi, I need to schedule a meeting with you and Kirkman. Preferably right now.”


	8. October & November

_Somewhere over Texas_

The sudden emergence of Vice President Aaron Rivera was analyzed to the death by all political pundits from all possible points of view. Some believed it to be a desperate PR stunt to appeal to the Hispanic community, while others saw deeper personal reasons behind the decision. Even some of the supporters of the administration were critical of him, insisting that he was intentionally taking attention meant for the president and his agenda. Because he was a lucky bastard, Kirkman had taken a supportive stance, echoing Aaron’s thoughts in his recent speeches. Although he’d had no direct contact with her, he suspected Isabel had a hand in it. For the first time in a long time, she’d given him an approving nod and a smile as they’d passed in the hallways of the West Wing. It was her approval he’d been seeking, but rather a fortunate side effect of his decision. 

Aaron himself had grown tired of explaining himself within days of the change taking effect. As he sat on the plane on his way to Austin to start his six-city tour of his home state with bilingual speeches, he admitted to himself that he was more exhausted than ever before. It was all due to his own discomfort, still present in many aspects of his background. Maybe he hadn’t thought that part entirely through, but he didn’t regret his choice. It was the right thing to do after all. And it wasn’t like he hadn’t been granted a major reprieve only three weeks earlier when Emily had returned to work full time. With a tired smile on his face, he turned to steal a glance at her. She was working at full steam and biting down on her lip, a crease between her brows as she typed quickly.

“Everything okay?” He asked, mostly to catch her attention.

She blinked at him as her expression softened. “Yeah, I just wanted to read through your speech again.”

“What do think about it?” Recently he’d been using less and less of their speech writers, feeling that if he was going to talk about his own identity and issues concerning race, the words should come directly from him rather than a verbally gifted employee, some of whom had little to no personal experiences comparable to his own. 

“I… I’m probably not the right person to be answering that question, Aaron. I don’t know anything about-“

Leaning forward, he gently removed her laptop from her, placing it on the tray table. “I know, and that’s not what I’m asking. I want to know what _Emily Rhodes,_ who knows me as a friend, thinks about it.”

She squeezed her eyes closed, chuckling lightly. “I think it’s great.”

”Honestly?”

“Honestly, I swear. It sounds honest, and I like that. I just…”

“What?”

“Are you ready for all the attention you’re getting? Not to mention that you’re painting a huge target on your back?”

“I’ll be alright, Em. As you know, the Secret Service is pretty damned good at what they do. As for the attention part,” he paused, sighing. “I have to be ready to face it. It’s not a high price to pay if I can be more effective and get our message across better that way.”

She nodded, but still remained pensive. “I know this is going to sound crazy, but I don’t want you to change,” she blurted. “Especially not because of what was done to me.”

_Oh God. Did she think he’d betray her like Kirkman had?_

“Do you know what I want more than anything?” He asked quietly.

“What?”

“For you to trust me. What you see is what you get. There’s not much that you don’t know about me.”

She gave him a small smile, but didn’t look convinced.

”It doesn’t even really matter, Aaron. You’re the Vice President, I’m just one person. Don’t take it personally.”

_One day… One day he was going to tell her. No, scream at her that he loved her and beg her to listen. If only she would believe him._

“You look really tired,” she remarked.

He shrugged again. “Comes with the job.”

***

Aaron really did look exhausted, while Emily herself felt rejuvenated and energized after finally being able to return to work full time. She already felt as if he’d changed in the short while since he’d announced he would be changing his last name, and it was hard not to be concerned about it, no matter what he said. 

He seemed more serious as well as focused, voicing his thoughts less often than before her attack. There was no way she would ever forgive the men who had almost killed her, but thinking that their actions may cost her more than they already had, made her infinitely angrier.

She’d faced the duo two weeks earlier in court, where they’d pleaded not guilty like the worthless excuses of human beings they were. Aaron hadn’t been there, as she’d told him she didn’t want the media attention that would surely follow on his wake. As she’d made her way to the courtroom, her legs feeling like jelly, her heart pounding in response to knowing she’d have to face her attackers, she’d _wanted_ him there, regretting her insistence. _Did a few reporters here or there even matter if the other option was breaking down in her seat?_ And she'd still have to testify in a few weeks.

His voice brought her back from the depths of her memory. “Are you thinking about the trial again?”

She shrugged. “I don’t know why I let them get to me like that. There’s nothing about them I want to remember, except for the looks on their faces when they realize they’re going to prison for a long time,” she replied. The men accused of beating her didn’t look special or remarkable in any way; she could’ve passed them in the street without taking a second glance at them. _Middle-aged. White. Round, pink faces. Average height. Stocky._ Even in court they looked like those average joes whose votes they were supposed to vie for, and it made her sick to her stomach. _Did it make her a bad person if she didn’t want to build an America that worked for people like them? And why couldn’t evil come in a more distinguishable form?_

“It’s a natural reaction, Em. You- you almost died. But you’re going to move past this,” he told her, coming to stand beside her seat.

“There’s so much to move past from,” she whispered. Not only her own attack, but the loss of her mom, Kirkman’s betrayal and soon she’d be giving up Aaron, too. _Maybe she should contact a therapist again._ After returning to work she’d insisted that her busy schedule held no openings for things like counseling sessions. 

His hand moving onto her shoulder, Aaron sighed. “I know. You’ve had a tough time lately. You’ve only got less than two months left, though.”

“That’s true.” And yet right at this moment it was impossible to be excited about her future plans. 

“I wish you weren’t leaving,” he admitted. 

That was what a part of her wished, too. 

“I’ve already left and then come back way too many times,” she half joked, hoping to steer the conversation away from the painful direction it was headed. 

“You’ve always had good reasons for leaving, and I’m sure it’s true now, too.”

“Sometimes I’m not sure if I’m cut out for politics on this level.”

“Of course you are. But after what happened, I can’t blame you for… For potentially not wanting to continue.”

“I can’t let them win.”

“Let me do the fighting,” he said gently. 

Shaking her head, she felt both anger as well as immense gratitude towards Aaron. _He had a bit of a hero complex, didn’t he?_ It shouldn't have been attractive to her, but somehow in this case it was.

“No. I refuse to be a victim, and if I don’t fight, that’s what I become.”

“You’re the toughest woman I know. You could never be a victim in the way you described just now.”

“Thank you.”

“Let me know if there’s anything I can do.”

Stepping into his embrace, her lips grazed his cheek. The feeling of his warmth and his unwavering support were the best medicine for the darkness that still threatened to overtake her at times. As his employee, she should refuse all of that, but as always, things were less than straightforward. Their forbidden intimacy was tantalizing and left her hungry for even more than that, but she justified it by reminding herself of how few days of employment she had left. He was offering, and she was taking it. That was the simple version of it, anyway. 

“Kirkman invited me for dinner,” she said, wanting to change the subject.

“Really? That’s… Good, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, sure.”

“You don’t sound too sure.”

“I told him I’d consider it, but I didn’t agree to it yet.”

Aaron turned serious. “You don't feel like you know him anymore."

 "Yeah."

"Can I ask one thing, though?”

“Sure.”

“Would it have horrified you as much as it did if it’d been done by someone else?”

Emily sighed. “I don’t know…"

“No, I didn’t. I get why you’re upset, but at the end of the day we won, and it's for the best."

“You know I've never wanted to win by playing dirty. I just didn't think Kirkman would ever resort to what he did... That was when I realized I couldn’t work for him anymore. I would’ve never come back to D.C. for him.”

The truth that she’d only come back for _him_ was left unsaid but hung in the air. 

“I believed in him, but that was _so_ stupid of me.” _Was she making the same mistake by putting her faith in Aaron?_

“It’s not stupid to believe in people. I’m sorry about what happened, I know he’s been important to you for a long time.” _Like the father she hadn’t had._ “I’m not going to lecture you about politics changing people, but I promise that I’m not going to change in a way that’d make you think less of me," he continued.

“Don’t make promises like that, Aaron,” she scoffed, shaking her head. 

“As you know, I’ve been in D.C. for a long time. I don’t always play fair, but it’s not exactly a secret, is it?”

“No,” she admitted.

“Don’t worry about me. And you should say yes, by the way.”

“To what?”

“The dinner invitation. You’ll regret not trying to work things out with him before you leave.”

As their plane began its descent towards Austin, Emily fell silent once more. _What did she have to lose by agreeing to that dinner?_

***

_Washington, D.C_

It felt strange to be attending a dinner with the president by herself, with no Aaron or Seth present. Yet it was the absence of Alex Kirkman that truly hit her like a semi-truck, even after all the time that had passed. The loss of his wife had changed Kirkman, too. Maybe he wouldn’t have hardened as a person as much if he still had Alex by his side. 

The dinner table in the White House residence was set for four, as Sasha and Penny would be joining them. There would be no time for private talks, but she wasn’t sure if she even wanted that. _What could Kirkman possibly have to say that would change how she felt?_

Shaking her head, she decided she wasn’t there to look for an explanation, but to put things to rest. After all, Aaron had a point, and she had bigger fish to fry. It was time to let go and move on. 

Kirkman appeared to greet her himself. “Hi. I’m glad you came,” he said. “I wasn’t sure if you’d accept the invitation.”

“I don’t want to leave any loose ends behind me this time. It’s good to be here.”

"Dinner time!" Screeched Penny, dashing between her father and Emily, interrupting them.

“I hope you’re hungry, Emily, because Penny’s insisting we eat right now,” he chuckled. Following in Kirkman’s wake, she joined in the laughter and took her seat at the table. 

“Have you made any plans for next year yet?” Asked Sasha later, pouring Emily another glass of wine.

“Sort of. But I’m not in a hurry to commit to another job,” she revealed. She still wasn’t ready to discuss her plans to have a child with anyone else.

“I’m sure there are plenty of opportunities open to you if you choose to stay in D.C,” said Kirkman. 

“I’ve gotten a few calls from potential employers.”

“How has it been to be a Chief of staff again? You were Tom’s for a while, right? Is it very different when you work for the VP instead?”

“It definitely is,” Emily mused with a smile. _Just not for the reasons Sasha probably imagined._

“Looks like you’ve done a great job,” offered her former boss. "I can't claim to understand everything Aaron's going through, but I think he's getting through to people, and that's what matters most."

“Thank you. Aaron really appreciates the support you've given him recently. I should also thank you for the Secret Service protection, it’s made me feel a lot safer.” The agents patrolled her apartment block and the hallways of her building. It wasn’t exactly inconspicuous, but it helped her sleep better at night.

“You’re welcome. Let us all hope that you won’t need them much longer.”

“Yeah, I don’t think most of my neighbors appreciate having men with guns in the hallways," she joked.

“How has it been to get back to work again?” Sasha interjected.

“Couldn’t be better. I’m not a fan of sitting at home with only my own thoughts for company,” she answered. 

Sasha nodded with a smile. “I figured you’d feel that way.”

“Do you have a boyfriend, Emily? Or a girlfriend?” Interjected Penny.

Everyone laughed. “Emily may not want to answer that question,” remarked Sasha. 

“No, it’s okay. I don’t have a boyfriend or a girlfriend.”

Penny nodded. “You’re like Daddy and Aaron. Daddy says he doesn’t mind being alone.”

Emily nodded. “Some people are happier alone, especially for a while after they’ve lost someone.”

“Like we lost my mommy.”

“Exactly.”

“Do you think you’ll always be happy alone?”

“That’s for me to find out, I guess.”

"When I get my own house, I'm going to get as many dogs and cats as I can," swore Penny.

Emily chuckled. "That's a good idea. If you do that, you'll never be alone."

***

As she got home, she received a text from Aaron.

_How was dinner with the President?_

Noting with glee that he sure seemed to pay a lot of attention to her schedule- _or had he talked to the Secret Service?_ \- she typed back.

_It went well, thanks for asking. Hate to say it, but you were right. I would’ve regretted not going._

Leaving her phone on the table to shower and change, she returned to find a whole five new messages waiting for her.

_I’ve been wanting to ask you something._

_Would you come to my place for dinner?_

_Was thinking next week, I don’t have anything scheduled for Thursday night._

_No agenda, it’s just something I need to do._

_I understand if you’d rather not come._

Staring at her phone, she considered it. It wasn’t like this was a date, but strictly speaking they’d managed to do a lot of things without ever going on a date. Of course she wanted to spend time with him and find out exactly why this dinner was something he needed to do, but… After her lapse at the hospital, she had to be careful. Things had since returned to what she referred to as _their normal,_ and she didn’t have long left now, anyway. Ten more weeks. 

_Okay. Next Thursday sounds good._

_***_

When Emily found herself applying a third layer of mascara and unable to decide which dress to wear for her dinner with Aaron, she threw herself on the bed, groaning. _She wasn’t out to impress him. Or rather, she shouldn’t be out to impress him._ So, she was going to wear a clean, professional outfit that she could even wear to the office. _Nothing out of the ordinary._  A pair of simple black pants and a pink silk blouse would do. Deciding to leave her hair down, she sprayed on some perfume. _Why was she so nervous about this?_

As she was allowed in to the Vice President’s residence, standing face to face with Aaron, her knees almost buckled. He’d changed out of his regular suit and put on a pair of grey pants with a tighter fit than usual, as well as a dark blue dress shirt that somehow made his eyes and hair pop out. She'd never found him unattractive, but seeing him in something out of the ordinary got to her.

“Hi,” he greeted, grinning at her.

“Hey. I brought white wine, although I have no idea what we’re even eating,” she mumbles, handing him the bottle. 

“Great, thanks. Come on in, I’m still not finished cooking.”

“I can help you if you want me to,” she offered.

After considering her face for a few moments, he nodded. “You can slice the vegetables.”

"What are we making?" 

"Chicken enchilada casserole."

 _Oh._ She wondered when he'd last cooked anything even resembling Mexican food, and suddenly the meaning of the night became more obvious to her. It was hard not to appreciate the fact that he was willing to share something with her that was so difficult for him.

Preparing the food, they settled into a rhythm, Aaron showing her the recipe. There was an air of normality around them, as if he wasn't the vice president and her boss, and they were only a D.C. couple about to enjoy a quiet meal. The thought made her want to smack herself. _Fantasies were not allowed in her world._

“Why did you invite me?” She asked softly, dicing the last of the tomatoes.

He shrugged. “Because this isn’t personal for you. You don’t have a stake in this.”

“I’ve been meaning to ask you… Why did you decide to do this now? I guess it’s not really my business, but-”

“It’s hard to explain. I don’t mind you asking, though.”

“But are you really comfortable with this? The whole name change and everything that’s come with it?” She wondered if she'd ever see a day that the press would stop asking about it.

“Yes, and no,” he sighed, running a hand through his hair. He looked exhausted. “It’s also hard to explain, though. I… I have had issues for a very long time, and some of them border on laughable. Like my aversion to Mexican food.”

“So that’s why you’re making it now? Desensitizing yourself?”

“Sort of. I also felt like I needed someone else besides Harris, Luke or the others eating it with me.”

“Well, I’m honored you chose me. I’m not much of a cook, though.”

“That doesn’t matter. Neither am I. Anyway, I did this because I realized my issues were holding me back in a way. I’ve tried so hard not to be seen as a stereotype and to be taken seriously, that I guess I lost sight of the additional strength your own experiences can bring you. I’ve always known I'd have to work on myself, but with everything that’s happened, I had to speed up the schedule.”

Emily stopped stirring the sauce.  “You’re doing this because of what happened to me?” It wasn't that she hadn't thought of it before, but hearing it from him was different. She didn't want to make him do things he'd rather avoid.

“It’s a part of it.”

”I would _never_ ask you to do this.”

“I know. So I promise that this is not about you.”

“Good. This is delicious, by the way,” she said, tasting the enchilada sauce.

“Thanks… Can I- there’s something on your-“

She held her breath as his finger swiped at the corner of her mouth. _Hypothetically, what would happen if she kissed him now?_ They were alone and this was their free time. She wanted to have something else to occupy her mind aside from the nightmares of her attack, and she already knew Aaron could provide her with that relief. However, she had to stay strong, no matter how tempting he was.

His eyes were boring to hers, his voice was low and seductive as he spoke. “Tell me what you want, or show me,” he whispered, leaning closer, his palms resting on each side of her, trapping her between him and the counter. She swallowed hard. _You, I want you._ But those words were impossible.

Her fingers found the top buttons of his dress shirt, somehow managing to open them. Burying her face in his neck, she pressed a kiss there, as Aaron’s hands untucked her blouse from her pants and slid underneath. _This was crazy. They were crazy._ And still she pulled back only to kiss him on the mouth and let him pull her blouse over her head. It was exactly like in her forbidden fantasies.

“You’re not going to insist I forget about _this,_ are you?” He asked breathlessly, desperation in his voice.

“No,” she moaned back. There would be no sense in telling him that. Suddenly his hands were behind her thighs, lifting her on the kitchen counter, then parting her legs to allow him to stand between them. 

“Tell where where you want me,” he commanded, his breath hot on her neck. First he only kissed her lightly there, but as she held him in place, his teeth grazed her skin, probably leaving a mark. Emily shivered, helping him get rid of his shirt. As it had been that night in Florida, Aaron was washing away all that was bothering her, this time mostly thoughts of strange men cornering her at her door. And yet she was regaining her sense, aware that they couldn’t do this. It took all her strength to place a hand on his bare chest and push him away.

“We can’t,” she simply said, this time hoping he would understand, that he would understand the pain this decision caused him.

He sighed, his hands falling from her hips, leaving behind nothing but the coolness of the room. “You’re going to be the death of me,” he replied, holding out her blouse as he picked up his own shirt from the floor before walking away from her. 

***

In the bathroom Aaron splashed cold water on his face. _As if that would make a difference when he needed a damned cold shower._ Nevertheless, Emily was right. In this situation he would have to be crazy to claim this wasn’t a terrible idea. Yet it felt so unfair. He hadn’t invited her over to almost have sex with her in his kitchen, but somehow with Em, things happened. Especially recently. 

The understanding and space she allowed him even when he spoke about his problems was only the tip of the iceberg on the things that made him want to be near her. She was his partner, had been for years now. They’d tried being just colleagues back when he’d returned to work for Kirkman. Then they’d slowly become friends again. All roads had led to this, and more than one innocent bystander had been hurt along that road, all because of this game of chess they had been mostly unconsciously playing for too long. 

 _It had to end._ And it would soon, one way or another. After a few more deep breaths, he returned to the kitchen. He’d half expected to find her gone, but she was standing beside the same counter he’d been basically devouring her on, sipping from her wine glass.

“Hey,” she said. “I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to go.”

Hell, no. He wanted her to stay. Tonight, tomorrow, and much much longer than that. “We can still eat if you want to.”

She smiled. “That sounds nice.”

The main course had turned out pretty decent, much better than he’d anticipated after years and years of not eating or making anything like it. 

“No Spanish soundtrack for dinner?” She teased, listening to the classical piece he’d put on. “Or would that be too much?”

“I still have my limits,” he said, reaching into the fridge for another beer. 

“I was only joking.”

“I know. You only make fun of me when I deserve it.”

“You put too much faith in me.”

“Ditto.”

After dinner, he walked her back to the door, even as the hollow ache in his chest took over again, putting him in a dark mood. She belonged with him, not in some empty apartment where she could lie awake and let her demons consume her. 

She looked morose as he helped her into her coat. "Something's worrying you," he noted.

"I have to testify at the trial next week. Of course I'll do my best to answer emails and make calls during recess, but-"

"Hey, hey. I know. Don't concern yourself with work while you're there. Your team will manage without you for one day," he assured her, hoping to calm her down. He'd offer to be there with her, but she'd just reject him. 

"I don't know how that day will turn out," she admitted. 

"You have a great lawyer and there's an eyewitness. It's going to be fine."

"I wish I shared your confidence."

Grasping her hand, he squeezed it tightly. "Tell me if you need me."

She nodded, but the gesture was another lie, for she never allowed herself to need anyone. 

***

Emily had been dreading this day ever since first talking to her lawyer. Her attackers would be going to court, and she’d have to get on that stand and give her testimony. _Face the cross examination._ It wasn’t that she didn’t trust Martha Johnson, the excellent and experienced counsel Kendra had recommended to her, it was that she didn’t trust the other side, lawyers that voluntarily defended people like the men who had attacked her. Their friends apparently had enough cash to pay for a lawyer, and that scared her. Even Martha with her calming demeanor hadn’t managed to completely alleviate her fears, and neither had the prosecutor.

She would’ve gladly stopped reading all media, but her job required that she stayed up to date with everything, so she knew exactly how controversial Aaron’s and Kirkman’s words about different types of terrorism were to many people. _“We can’t and will not tolerate terrorists of any kind, regardless of who it’s perpetrated by. To this administration, there is no difference between the man who kills for religion and the man who kills for a political disagreement or race.”_ Those were Kirkman’s exact words at a press conference soon after her attack. None of that should’ve angered large groups of people, but they did. Common sense seemed to have such precious little room in the America they were now living in. You could argue that the truth didn’t have much space left for it either.

She’d resolved to taking beta blockers for her bouts of anxiety. The therapist appointments she’d had during her sick leave were now an afterthought since she insisted she had no time for them. 

The medications helped her seem more normal at work, and it was what she was aiming for. Any questions pertaining to her state of mind of or capability to work after what had occurred made her sick.

If there was anything she’d learned over the last few years, it was that showing weakness would only lead to your enemies pouncing on you. Aaron would have no use for a weak chief of staff. 

Seth kept trying to reach out to her, but she had been diligently avoiding being left alone with him. Aaron was the difficult one to dodge, but she’d managed to keep herself in check. Of course he knew her better than that. Yet she wondered if he knew how terrified she was of this day and how much she wished for him to be there. Nevertheless, it was only Martha who sat beside her, gently reminding her of the questions she would soon be posed. 

“You’ll do great,” assured the older woman, flashing Emily a confident smile. 

The first witness was her neighbor, the only person who had gotten a decent look at the men and subsequently saved her life. A few weeks ago, he received a handwritten letter from Aaron that he now refused to stop gushing over. The memory lifted her spirits, taking her mind off her own impending testimony. After what felt like a few minutes although nearly two hours had passed, Martha gently patted her shoulder. It was time.

***

The part with the prosecutor questioning her went well, as expected. They'd rehearsed these questions over and over again, and she told everything she remembered from that night. Steve Miller, a balding man in his fifties represented her attackers, and got to his feet to conduct the cross examination. Martha had coached her through around a dozen possible questions, but Emily couldn't stop her emotions from taking over. _How did a man like this sleep at night?_ Fidgeting, she wished she had something in her hands to squeeze.

“Good morning, Ms. Rhodes. Can you tell me what is the nature of your relationship with the vice president?” Breathing through her mouth, Emily tried to keep her thoughts together. This question was not coming out of the blue, they'd anticipated it. 

“Objection, Your Honor. Irrelevant to the case," argued the prosecutor.

“I’ll allow it," said the judge, narrowing her eyes at the defense lawyer.

“We’ve known each other as colleagues and friends for several years.”

“It has been rumored several times over those years that the two of you have a romantic relationship.”

“We have never been in a romantic relationship. There are a lot of rumors in D.C., sir.” Despite the technical truth of her words, she felt like a liar, her mind flashing back to Aaron's lips on hers mere days before.

“Don’t you think that a romantic relationship between you and Vice President Rivera would be extremely inappropriate? Perhaps even akin to corruption of a sort? Especially if you lied about it.”

“Objection! Mr. Miller is leading the witness on and none of this has anything to do with the case!”

“Get to the point, Mr. Miller.”

“My point is that many people are angered by corruption in the government, and sometimes that response and the protests get out of hand.”

Martha scoffed. “This is preposterous.”

Emily shivered in her seat. _They were blaming her for being attacked. She was a whore and Aaron was corrupt. This was not how it was supposed to go._

After clearly seeing that he'd managed to rattle her, Mr. Miller moved onto easier questions that were mostly meant to discredit her as a witness. It was true that she hadn't seen the faces of her attackers well. She barely remembered a thing she said, only somewhat collecting herself when the judge announced a recess and Martha told her to follow her.

“Come on, let’s get some food into you,” murmured the other woman, leading her to the elevators by her arm. Emily felt numb after both being forced to relive her attack as well as being verbally eviscerated and basically blamed for everything. _What had she even said? Had she brought on more problems for both herself and Aaron?_

Martha opened the door to an office, where Emily spied Subway wrappers as well as the Vice President of the United States. 

“Aaron, what are you-“ Emily gasped, faintly registering the door clicking shut behind her. It was only the two of them in the room. 

“I’ve been sitting here since your testimony started. I saw it all.”

“I’m so sorry,” she mumbled, even as Aaron stepped up to her and his arms wrapped around her.

“It’s all going to be okay. I’m the reason for what happened to you and why you had to deal with that piece of shit today-“

“No, you’re not,” she argued. 

“I am, and it’s okay to say that. I don’t even know if you want me here, but I thought I’d risk it, make sure you wouldn’t have to do this alone,” he sighed, releasing her. 

“Thank you. I… I haven’t really been very forthcoming about anything. And before you say anything else, you’d better not suggest that I take some time off,” she told him sternly, holding up a hand. 

“I wasn’t going to say that. Well, I’m here, if you want to talk. Even if it isn’t now. You’ve listened to my crap more than enough already.”

“Thank you, but I don’t think I can open up to anyone I know. It’s easier to talk to a stranger,” she explained, sensing his disappointment. _I’m sorry._

“Then that’s what you should do,” he nodded. 

“You really don’t think I messed up back there?”

Shaking his head, he pulled her down to sit beside him. “No. He was harassing you, you defended yourself without lying. Like you know, people insist on seeing and hearing things that aren’t there. It’s always going to happen, no matter what you say. You didn’t mess up.”

 _Yes, she did._ She’d faltered at the question of the nature of her relationship with Aaron, thinking about that dinner two weeks prior. Colleagues and friends did not do what they’d done. And they most definitely did not daydream about it later, fantasizing what would’ve happened if they hadn’t stopped.

“Let’s eat something,” he suggested, handing her an unwrapped sub. “I can stay here until the trial finishes, if you want me to.”

“You don’t have to,” she answered bravely. _What if the assholes walked free?_

“It’s not a problem. God knows I want to see them go behind bars for a long, long time,” he said, as if reading her thoughts.

“What if that doesn’t happen?”

“They’re on trial for aggravated assault, Em. Does Martha have any doubts that they’re going down?”

“She hasn’t voiced any of them to me if she does.”

“There’s no justification for what they did, and your neighbor could pick them out of a line of perps. It’s going to work out as it should,” he assured her. 

“I hope you’re right.”

“I’ll be here when it’s all over.”

“Thank you.”

“Always.”

Four hours later the members of the jury reached their verdict, and to Emily's great relief, they were found guilty and sentenced to seven years in prison. 

"See? You don't have to worry about them anymore," rejoiced Martha, who was keen to give a statement to the press waiting outside. As her lawyer headed to speak to the reporters, Emily was shown back to the office where Aaron stood waiting for her. Neither one of them had anything to say, but when he grinned and opened his arms to her, she practically jumped into them.

***

A week had passed since Emily's attackers had been sentenced, and all in all she seemed more relaxed. He knew it wasn't possible to get over something like that, but at least now the healing could start. It was getting late, the NSC meeting on Syria had just ended and he headed for Emily’s office, finding it empty. Based on her texts she hadn’t left for the night yet, so he walked over to her desk, deciding to let her know he was there and wait for her to come back. It wasn’t until he heard the buzz of his own message reaching her phone that he realized it was buried underneath the papers on her desk. So there was no way to reach her for the time being. Moving the pile of papers aside to reveal her phone, his eyes narrowed on one of the headlines he saw.

_Preparing for Insemination_

_What the hell?_ He grabbed the brochure, making sure he hadn’t misread, but no, reading the words over and over didn’t change them. _Emily was planning on having a child on her own?_ No longer sure his legs would carry him, he sank into the chair. _No. No. No._ This wasn’t how it was supposed to be. This would change everything, and it also meant that he had been living in a fantasy world, thinking Emily could still possibly want him. That there could be a chance for them, even if God knew he didn’t deserve another one. His heart was pounding so hard in his chest that it masked all other sounds, including the sound of Emily’s footsteps as she stepped into the room. 

“Aaron, what-“ she asked, her eyes widening at the sight of him seated in her chair. 

He raised his head, their eyes meeting. _She had deliberately kept this from him, and for some reason it upset him more than anything he’d seen or heard after changing his name back to Rivera._ Somehow he’d thought that the dinner at his place and her trial had changed things. 

“What’s going on? What are these?” He asked, holding out the leaflets.

“That’s none of your business, Aaron,” she hissed. “I can’t believe you’d snoop around my office.”

Biting into his lip, he tried to control his emotions. Technically she was right, but he wasn’t going to leave this alone, not this time. She was making a lifetime commitment, and moving on into a life that he probably had no place in. It angered him way more than it should have. 

“I thought you trusted me.”

“I do, but this… This really doesn’t concern you.”

“You’re going to have a child with some donor you know _nothing_ about?”

“ _Yes._ What about it?”

“Don’t you want someone to be there for you, someone to help you raise the baby?”

“It’s easier this way, and it’s really none of your business anyway. You don’t get to tell me how to live my life, or insist that you’re part of it.”

“That’s not what I’m saying.”

“Really? Because all I can tell here is that a man- who yes, I slept with once, and made it clear afterward that it was a mistake that would _never ever_ be repeated- is telling me I shouldn’t have a family in the way _I_ choose. I don’t care if you’re the Vice President, because you’re way out of line.”

“Let me do it.”

“What?”

“I’ll be the donor, and I’ll be there for you and the baby.” Yes, everything he was saying was out of anger, but he meant it. If she wanted a child but no relationship, then he would give her that.

***

She couldn’t believe her own ears. _This man was insane. Absolutely insane._

“As your friend and chief of staff: you’re insane. You’re the Vice President, you can’t go and donate-“

“I want to help you.”

“I don’t want your help. I don’t want _anything_ from you,”, she spat, knowing it was a lie even as it left her lips, and she could tell it got to him as he froze, angry and hurt. 

“It didn't seem that way back in my kitchen," he murmured, raising his brows.

"Oh don't you dare-"

"Excuse me, was I supposed to forget about that too?"

"It was another mistake."

“Fine. Let’s stick with purely work talk, then. Like we did back when you were _making a mistake_ with Seth.”

“We’re seriously not going to have this discussion! But yeah, I did mess up with Seth, exactly like I did with you.” 

“You’re saying that you and me are the same as you and Seth?”

“Yup. What did you think, then? I would’ve slept with anyone that night in Florida, Aaron! I don’t want to be the kind of person who does things like that.”

She did mean that, considering that she was extremely lucky to have been able to salvage her friendship with Seth after the disaster of their romantic relationship. Now, on the good days she didn’t even remember it had ever taken place, and hopefully he didn’t, either. And yet that was so far removed from what had transpired between her and Aaron. 

Aaron looked helpless and deflated standing in front of her, as if he had nothing more to contribute to the argument. He was a tired man with the weight of at least half the world on his shoulders and yet she, Emily Rhodes, somehow seemed to have the power to break him, and right now she was using it. The regret over her words was already simmering underneath the surface, but she was so fucking angry with him. This was why she hadn't told him. She hadn't wanted to hear why he disagreed, have him judge her.

“Okay. Right. Good night,” he murmured before striking out of her office. 

Not for the first time, she’d hurt him. The part of her that knew abandonment and was always prepared for it wouldn’t stop asking when Aaron would reach his breaking point and no longer come back for more, because everyone had a breaking point. _Everyone left eventually._ Then there was the hopeful part of her that wouldn’t even exist anymore without Aaron in the first place that told her that he was the man who saw behind her words and still refused to leave. 

***

It was day 15 after their argument. Emily still sat behind that desk of hers every single day, but Aaron felt as if her mind was already somewhere else. She had already checked out. They only talked about work, the situation reminiscent of the way things had been between them for months after his return to the White House with Em serving as Chief of Staff to Kirkman. Their daily texts had mostly dried up, aside from a few short exchanges related to his schedule. _Did she still have nightmares about her attack? How was she holding up?_

He had been such an ass to her, and it was up to him to make things right. It stung that she was dismissing any chance of including him in her life romantically, but what else could he expect? No decisive moves had been made by him, and wouldn’t be any time soon. _But she had to know, didn’t she?_ Rubbing his forehead, he told himself that he was being unreasonable, that he was so angry at her plans to have a child on her own because it was forcing him to make a choice. _Step up or risk losing her._ However, it wasn’t that clear cut; he could lose her no matter what he did. 

There had been a day Emily hadn’t even trusted him not to be a traitor to the country, and that had hurt too, so much that he’d believed the rift could never be repaired. And yet somehow they had grown close again, with Emily becoming the person he trusted more than anyone else in the world, even more than his own girlfriend. _How had that even happened?_

For a few hours in that hotel room in Florida he had believed that he was spending only his first night with her, not also the last one. He could still choose to believe in the truth of that night and the time she’d obviously been dying for him to kiss her in his kitchen, that Emily needed him as much as he needed her. That what was between them was deep and enduring instead of something cheap, inconvenient and forever tainted. 

***

_Right now they were just Aaron and Emily, who had met years ago and then been brought to work together in the aftermath of a national tragedy. She wasn’t being pushed into the mattress by the vice presidential candidate, but Aaron Shore, who had started his career in the Senate mailing room, made his way to the White House and infuriated her from the day they’d met._

_The feeling had been mutual. Unfortunately it had also come with a hefty dose of chemistry, and no matter how hard she’d tried, she hadn’t been immune to his charisma. The kindness that lay underneath the exterior had taken a while to reveal itself, but it was there, and it made her want him so much more._

_Tonight her mom wasn’t asking her to help her die. Tonight she wasn’t claiming something she had no business to touch. She was fulfilling a destiny that had been a long time coming. As long as Aaron hovered above her, his eyes never leaving hers as he filled her over and over, she could believe all that. She could believe in anything._

_Her name left his lips in a strangled cry, the sound reaching deep into her soul, imprinting itself there to make sure she’d never forget. In that one perfect moment, a frightening thought crossed her mind._ They belonged together. _It was a thought born out of euphoria and she soon dismissed it, but the idea had been planted, the damage done. There was no going back. Not even a few hours later when dawn crept upon them and she was faced with the harsh reality that dreams were dreams, and their attempt to turn back the clock to the time things were at least slightly more straightforward was a complete failure and would leave a path of destruction in its wake._

Emily came awake in the middle of the night, her heart racing. This time she hadn’t been plagued by nightmares of her attack, but an entirely different kind of pain. They were barely talking, so her mind had conjured up the only night they’d ever spent together, to be relived over and over again. Over the last few months the guilt had somewhat dissipated at seeing how things were working out for Isabel. There was no guilt over their little escapade in his kitchen, at least not on her side. She would never ask for absolution and the loss of the sting of going against all her principles should be taken as a concerning sign in the change of her own morals. Mustering up anger at Aaron only made her feel slightly better, as the anger was half-hearted at best. _She didn’t want to leave things like this with him, but maybe… Maybe this was better? Maybe that way she would miss him less. Maybe he would miss her less._ And yet she found it difficult to view their argument as a blessing in disguise. The hurt in his eyes would haunt her until they were back to being on proper speaking terms, but she’d be damned if _she_ apologized. There was nothing for her to be sorry for, after all. 

In the meanwhile she’d work on steeling herself against the sensual memories her subconscious kept throwing her way. 

She had cried in the shower that morning in Florida, the shock over her mom’s request mixing with guilt over spending the night with Aaron and enjoying it. _She couldn’t have Aaron._ If only he’d followed her to her room and… _What exactly?_ Told her that it would all be okay, that he was done with Isabel? _Would she have had the courage to embrace the opportunity instead of pushing him away?_

***

It had been another long day, filled with meetings on Kirkman’s infrastructure policy. It was day 17 after their argument and Emily was still icy towards him. He was getting sicker of it by the minute. 

The last part of his schedule for the day was a briefing with his own team, and it was just winding to a natural close, with the staff trickling out. Emily was about to slip out with her assistant before he called out to her.

“Em, can you please stay for a minute?” He asked, watching as she stopped at the door. Allowing the younger woman to leave, she closed the door to shut them in alone. 

“Why?” She returned, her arms crossed over her chest. Dismissive and defensive. 

He sighed, standing up to approach her. “I’m sorry about the fight. You were right, I had no right to say what I did. That’s not… What friends are for.”

“Apology accepted.”

“You’re my best friend, and although I know you’re leaving in less than two months, I don’t want things between us to be tense.”

She nodded. “Okay. I think we can get through these last few weeks still on speaking terms, as long as you don’t offer me opinions on how to live my life.”

“I promise.” He would at least try to keep his mouth shut.

“Good. I’ll see you tomorrow, then.”

“Good night, Em.”

As she left him alone with his thoughts, he stared at the calendar on his desk. _The clock was ticking._

 


	9. December

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry it's taken this long, guys! The last chapter ended up becoming so long that I decided to split it into two. The second part will be up within the next week. Hope you're all doing well!

_Washington, D.C._

 

Before Aaron even noticed, late November arrived, bringing with it the realization that Emily would be gone soon. A month was nothing when you wanted forever. Her decision to have a child alone- and especially her claims that he was nothing more than another mistake in her books- still didn’t sit right with him, but he’d kept his ire in his head. It really wasn’t his business. Something between them had changed that night, and not in agood way. He felt like he was constantly walking on eggshells with her, unable to voice his thoughts and uncertain of hers. She was tense around him; probably knowing deep down that he was still judging her life choices, but not for the reasons she must think. 

He had just finished doing a press availability with the Secretary of Exterior Relations of Mexico, where he’d agreed to use both English and Spanish. As always, Em had stood in the sidelines, watching him. It would never get old to see her face in the back of the room, her eyes glued to him as she listened, sometimes even giving an approving nod when things came out the way they’d intended them to. It would be odd not to see her there. _Wrong._

Although he was hoping to call it a night soon- these bilingual events tended to drain him even worse than his usual job- Kirkman was still in the middle of his meeting with the President of Mexico and there would be no leaving before it concluded. 

Strangely enough, Emily had not sought him out after the press conference had ended, so he’d gone looking for her. She was standing in a corner of the room meant for the Mexican delegation to rest and work between meetings, engaged in a discussion with a tall, dark man. As Aaron watched the man, Raul Rodriguez, -deputy secretary of something- to be exact, obviously flirt with Emily and her laughing at his jokes, he was angry and jealous, sure. Nevertheless, at the same time sadness burned in his chest. This was how relationships were supposed to work, after all. You’re interested in someone and then approach them to determine if they felt the same way, and then you proceeded from there. It was how things had gone with him and Isabel, too. And yet things were so much more complicated than that with him and Em, and it wasn’t even about him being the Vice President.

Watching her with another man made him see the truth: that he was self-absorbed to the bone to believe that _he_ was the only man who could ever restore her faith in committed relationships. He’d been ridiculous. Seth was right. If they were meant to be more than friends and colleagues, it would’ve happened already. Although he hated the fact that she was leaving soon right down to his very core, he also realized it was the only way to break the cycle. Emily was going to be happy in her new life, perhaps with another man, perhaps not. Either way, he and his silly beliefs about them had no space in there. 

After all, the reasons he’d had for not pursuing her after their almost-relationship still held true, in some ways more than ever. He’d had his chance. _Hell,_ he’d had multiple chances, and he’d wasted all of them, even going back on his own word not to date people from work. He was a damned hypocrite. It was just Emily he’d refused to approach. The exception to his rules, the _special one._ It was likely she’d never felt that way. The longer he wallowed in the hurt, the more he wanted to kick the man he’d been two and a half years ago. Or even a year and a half ago. _Idiot. Moron. Loser._

There was only one question in his mind that stubbornly refused to leave him alone: _wasn’t life too short to harbor regrets?_ If she didn’t want him, she’d tell him that and he’d back off. Damaged, sure, but devoid of any regrets. 

She’d once called him the future of the country, and he was going to do everything to live up to those expectations. That was all he had left now, but that didn’t mean he wasn’t petty enough to interrupt Emily and Rodriguez.

“Excuse me,” he began, plastering on a polite smile. “I need to borrow my chief of staff for just a little while.”

“Oh, of course, sir.”

“Please excuse us,” said Emily with a smile, following him out of the room. Her smile faded the second she turned to him. 

***

She wasn’t interested in the man, despite flirting with him, even while Aaron had looked on. _Actually, that had more or less been the entire point, hadn’t it?_ She’d recognized him out of the corner of her eye and felt his eyes on her. _He didn’t like seeing her with another man._ Childish and petty anger had coiled up in her gut at his audacity. _How dare he judge her and then pay way too much attention to her actions pertaining to another man and not admit to anything himself?_ Technically they had a truce, thanks to his apology, but things hadn’t been the same since. Every day she told herself that this was how she wanted things to end. 

“Do you actually have something you need me to do?” She practically hissed, totally aware that if Aaron’s actions often bordered on unprofessional, so did hers, at least right at this second. 

She watched as he swallowed nervously, growing convinced that he had absolutely no purpose of interrupting her and Raul except for jealousy. “Sure. We need to go through the- the infrastructure agenda,” he explained, adding to her anger by smirking. _God._

Emily rolled her eyes. This was _not_ happening. “ _The infrastructure agenda?!_ You’ve got to be kidding me.”

“I’m dead serious, Em. Shall we go?” He suggested.

He strode down the hallway, expecting her to follow, and she did, but not before muttering under her breath.

 _“Jealous bastard,”_ she hissed.

“What was that?” He asked, turning to face her, still sporting that stupid smirk of his that she was well aware was a mask. 

They ended up in his office, Emily holding the folder containing the infrastructure agenda as she closed the door. There was no way he wanted to talk about increasing high-speed cross-country rail connections, and she was proven right by the fact that he was looming behind her. _They were entering dangerous waters._

“You’re right. I am a jealous bastard,” he admitted while she was still facing the door.

“Why are you doing this? You’re making everything so much harder,” She sighed, some of her anger dissipating. Staying angry with someone you cared about was hard work. 

“I’m sorry.”

“I don’t think you mean that.” At least he didn’t sound like he did. 

“Do you want me to?”

“Don’t ask questions like that.”

His arms wrapped around her from behind, pulling her to his chest. It wasn’t any less inappropriate now than it had been six months ago, but she didn’t push him away, the tenderness in his loose hold surprising her, leaving her the choice to shake him off at any point.

“Are you still angry with me?” He asked, his voice muffled by her hair. 

“No.”

“You’re lying. I think you flirted with that guy in front of me because you're mad at me.” _Okay, maybe that was true. Sort of._

“You’re full of yourself,” she murmured with a chuckle even as she slowly turned around and let her cheek rest against his chest. _32 days._

“Which you’ve known for years,” he laughed back at her. 

“That’s true, too.”

“Can we stop this?” He asked.

“You can stop this by letting me go.”

“You know what I mean, Em.”

“Okay. I do. Look, Aaron… I- I don’t want this to hurt more than it has to… So please, can we keep our distance for the rest of the time? We don’t have to argue, but we can’t keep doing _this_ , either.”

His arms relinquished her and he took two steps back. 

“If that’s what you want.”

“It is, and it’s what you should want too. It’s like you forget who you are when you’re with me.”

“It’s the opposite, Em. When I’m with you, I know exactly who I am.”

His confession made tears well up behind her eyes. _Why did he sometimes know exactly what to say to get to her?_

“See you tomorrow,” she said. Walking away from him became harder and harder every time she did it, and yet she kept pushing on. _32 days._

***

It was a week later and Emily still hadn’t managed to convince Raul Rodriguez to stop contacting her. Maybe it was mostly her fault, but the guy just didn’t seem to be able to comprehend the word ‘no’.

Her phone rang, tearing her out of her thoughts. Coincidentally or not, it was Aaron. They’d been seeing each other less and less recently and he no longer went out of his way to talk to her in person, rather choosing to rely on the phone or simple emails. The affection and warmth were gone from them. As she has asked.

“Hey,” she exhaled into the phone.

“Hi. About the trip to the Nordic countries...,” he started. Yes, the one she should not go on, because it was starting only a few days before the end of her employment.

“Yeah? What about it?”

He paused on the other end, as if to draw in a breath. 

“It’s up to you whether you want to go or not.”

“It doesn’t make any sense for me to come along, does it? You’ll be gone until January 8th.” 

“Yeah. I was just thinking… About throwing a New Year’s party for the staff on the trip, it could be your going-away party too,” he tried.

Emily rolled her eyes, regretting that he couldn’t be there to witness the gesture. And yet she was smiling, too, unable to suppress it.  “A party? You’re enticing me to travel almost 5,000 miles for a party?”

“Sorry, I know, that was a pretty pathetic attempt,” he admitted with a dark chuckle.

“Got a better one?”

“Not any good ones. Look, I understand completely why you’d rather not go, but… I don’t want to say goodbye on December 27th,” he finally sighed, and Emily felt her own resolve soften. She didn’t want a premature goodbye any more than he did. 

“Okay.”

“You’re coming to Helsinki?”

“Yes.”

“You won’t regret it.”

She could only hope he was right. _Pain._ There had been so much of it in her life recently, and it still wasn’t over. And yet she’d started to think that sometimes pain wasn’t all bad, but a sign that you were a living, feeling person, and shouldn’t or couldn’t be avoided entirely. Most people weren’t worth tolerating the pain and hurt they could inflict on you, but then there were the exceptions, the select few that remained with you long after you parted ways. They were worth walking to hell and back. She was lucky to know some of those people.

***

Aaron barely noticed the passing of the holidays, so consumed by his work, only agreeing to see Nadia before she left town to see her family right before Christmas. Every time he thought about saying goodbye to Emily, or her in general, he turned to work instead. At least he could channel his sorrow into something productive. It worked… Sometimes. All the other times he kept coming to the same conclusion: he had one more card left to play. _Brutal honesty._ The question was whether to use it or not. Convincing her to come to Helsinki with him gave him more time to make that call. 

On December 27th they boarded the plane bound for Helsinki. They would be spending New Year’s there before heading to Stockholm and Oslo. _No. He_ would be heading to Stockholm and Oslo. Emily’s contract was up on New Year’s Eve and she’d make her way back to the States as soon as she was no longer employed by him. As Aaron took a swig of his drink, he decided to enjoy the last few days he had with her to the fullest. In perfect honesty, Finland didn’t seem like such a bad place to do so, anyway. One of the happiest and most prosperous places on earth and not dependent on military or financial support from the United States, what was there not to like? 

Emily sat across from him, her eyes staring out of the window and at the dark sky beyond. They had to be somewhere over northeastern Canada by now, about to start their Atlantic crossing. 

“How does it feel? Going on your last trip,” he asked her.

She smiled back at him, but there was a touch of sadness in the expression. Or perhaps it was only his own wishful thinking.

“It does feel weird. I’m going to miss a lot of things about the job.”

He could only hope the list included him. “Did you make your final decision on the candidates yet?” He’d given her the power to choose her successor out of the candidates the two of them had interviewed. None of them were as good as her, but he’d never even expected that. 

“I think so, but I’ll let you know tomorrow at the latest. Don’t look so worried Aaron, you know both of them are more than capable and qualified.”

Those things were not what he was worried about. _They weren’t Emily._

“I know. I’m glad you decided to take this job in the first place, especially considering how much it has cost you,” he sighed.

They didn’t talk about the attack often anymore, but that didn’t stop him wondering if she was just putting up a brave face for his benefit. A little like she’d done while dealing with her mom’s illness and subsequent death. It was frustrating when you were willing to do anything to help someone and they were barely able to admit that it was bothering them in the first place. 

“I’m going to be okay,” she answered quietly. “Especially now that those two are in prison.”

He nodded. “They aren’t getting out anytime soon.”

“Are you staying in D.C?” He asked. It would make sense for her to relocate, wouldn’t it? Fresh start and all, especially if she went through with that baby plan of hers. It was still a painful wound in his chest, a reminder that he wasn’t wanted.

“I’m not sure about my long term plans yet. We’ll see, I guess,” she replied. 

“There are still plenty of job opportunities for you in the city.”

“Yeah, but you know what? A part of me has had enough. For a while at least. I could use some predictability, even if it’s temporary.”

“I get what you mean.” He loved being where he was and having the ability to truly make a difference in his country, and yet he wished for things to be less complicated. _You can never have everything, sacrifices have to be made._

”Did you already say goodbye to Kirkman?”

Emily nodded. “I did, yesterday.”

"How did that go? He didn't try to get you to stay?"

Shaking her head, she rose to grab a diet coke from the fridge. "Nope. I think he understands why I'm leaving. This was always going to be a temporary return."

"Yeah, I know. Although I wish you'd agreed to reconsider that," he told her softly.

"I'm sorry," she replied, returning to her seat.

Aaron cleared his throat, determined not to let her see his desperation. "It's your life, Em. If you think this is for the best, then that's what you've got to do." 

 

_Helsinki, Finland_

Their plane touched down in Helsinki in the early afternoon. Even in the middle of the day, there wasn’t much light to be seen this time of the year. They weren’t there to participate in an important international summit or to try to convince the president to improve human rights in the country, but to simply reinforce their relationship with the small Nordic nation, and perhaps- as Aaron hoped- even learn a thing or two from them. The President of Finland was a man of over 70 years old, but apparently had no qualms about combating climate change. Leaders like him were a prime example that there didn’t have to be a generational gap when it came to world wide challenges. He’d never met or even spoken to the man before, but based on Kirkman’s analysis, their delegation would receive a warm welcome. 

They had also been promised a tour of the country’s largest hospital area to showcase the affordable and yet high quality public healthcare. 

“I can’t believe how dark it is,” noted Emily as they sat in the car on their way to their hotel.

“Yeah, it’s barely 3 PM. Getting tired yet? You didn’t sleep much on the plane.”

“Not really. Guess the jet lag’s hitting me. Is there anything you need me to do tomorrow while you’re with the President?” She asked.

“I’d like you to come along for the hospital tour, since you know more about health care than anyone else on this team.”

Out of the corner of his eye, he saw her beam at his words, although he’d done nothing but state the truth. There were so many other things he should tell her. 

“Thank you, that sounds great.”

“Can we go through the topics they want to discuss tomorrow one more time?” He asked, forcing himself to focus on the matter at hand again.

“Yeah, sure. You want to do it now or at the hotel?”

“Let’s do it now, before we’re both too tired.”

***

The next day dawned cool and cloudy, with a few snowflakes coming down every now and then, which was apparently very typical for the time of the year. She stood outside the children’s hospital a couple of miles away from their hotel, still waiting for Aaron to conclude his negotiations with the president for the day. The president’s wife would also be joining them for the tour. So far she’d spent her day browsing the shops, trying to find something to give Aaron. They hadn’t exchanged Christmas presents, so she figured a going-away present could be appropriate. She’d never been good with emotions, always too unsure of herself, and in that way Aaron wasn’t an exception, no matter how badly she wanted him to be. _The one._ She did want him to be _the one with whom she’d no longer be afraid or unsure or unable to trust._ Who wouldn’t leave. Who would belong to her for the rest of her life. Yet she wasn’t going to act on the fantasy, not even try to make it real. Aaron was the Vice President. She worked for him. There was no possible way he could be hers. He and everything he did now belonged to the American people. _What would people even think about the two of them if that happened?_ Over the last year she’d done her best to stop Aaron from ending up in the papers with scandals exactly like this one. 

What she fantasized about was stuff meant for romance novels, not for real life politics and the intricacies of reputation control. 

Yet as he got out of the car, she couldn’t help but beam at him. Taking her place by his side, she marked that they looked good together. Maybe in another life she’d be the 2nd Lady of the United States. In that life she wouldn’t have killed her own mother, and Aaron wouldn’t have ended up with Isabel. 

She didn’t indulge in what-ifs like this often, but now as this part of her life neared its end, the missed opportunities haunted her nights, sometimes even the days she should’ve been using to tie up all the loose ends of her work. Ingrid Pearson was going to take over the job from her. At least that decision had finally been made, God knew she’d postponed it too many times already. She liked Ingrid, who was well educated, brilliant and a college classmate of Kendra’s. Everything checked out, and it was even better that the best candidate for the job happened to be female as well. Yet choosing her successor made everything too real. 

It sucked. Harder than most things she’d found hurtful him her life had. Maybe one day she’d put her regrets on paper, even if only to be free of them. _But did she even deserve to be free of her mistakes?_ The whole point of them was to learn, wasn’t it? And she didn’t think she had. If only there was a way to fix them, to fix herself. 

The hospital’s facade was decorated in bright colors, making the building stand out from the older, neutral-colored yellow or brown hospital buildings. Every time she visited Europe, she couldn’t help but think that out of all the American cities she’d spent time in, Boston was the one that reminded her of European cities the most. It was likely about the sheer number of old buildings, some of them hundreds of years old, as well as the feel of being in a small city despite the reality that these were the largest cities in the respective countries. It was possible to find peace and quiet in Boston, and in a city like Helsinki, while that would never happen in New York. And then there was D.C, full of politicians, bureaucrats, spies and lobbyists. It was a snake pit, and she’d survived there  for a long time. All things considered, maybe things hadn’t worked out too bad for her, professionally speaking. She’d surely done a lot better than most people had assumed from the daughter of a single mother. As she looked at Aaron with pride, she figured that it was something they had in common, to a degree. Making something out of themselves against all odds. 

“And the other hospitals in the complex can be accessed through an underground tunnel, in case our patients have to be moved or examined elsewhere,” explained the head nurse as she led them through largely identical floors full of clean single-patient rooms and nurse’s stations. 

“Is this the only pediatric hospital in the area?” Asked Emily, pausing to admire the view from one of the glass-covered balconies.

“Technically yes, but we do have wards meant for children in other hospitals as well, and some of the complex trauma surgeries are done at the trauma hospital, which isn’t too far from here.”

“You said this was mostly funded by the government?” Confirmed Aaron.

“Several parties chipped in so this could be built faster, but yes, most of the funding came from the province and the government. Millions were also donated by private individuals and companies.”

“Do you have any private hospitals here?” Wondered Emily aloud. 

“Yes, we do,” began the president’s wife. “But I believe they mostly focus on elective treatments and less demanding patients. Plenty of people also use private clinics for basic health care needs. There are no private birthing hospitals, for example. I was a client at the birthing hospital in this block myself once.”

Emily nodded with a smile, wondering if it would ever be possible for America to not rely on private hospitals and instead for the federal and local governments to control all health care. If it ever happened, she doubted she’d be alive to see it.

The tour concluded on the 2nd floor, where Emily headed to buy a cup of coffee at the cafeteria, re-joining the group only to realize that Aaron was nowhere to be seen, along with his Secret Service detail. Just as she dug her phone out of her bag to call him, he appeared with Harris on tow. 

“Where did you go?” She hissed, receiving a secretive smirk in response.

“Had some matters to attend to,” he explained with a shrug, shaking off nonexistent lint on hit suit jacket.

“I was starting to think you guys had ditched me.”

Aaron laughed. “You’d have managed on your own.”

“Yeah, I would’ve. But then I would’ve given up on finding you a present.”

He turned to her, his brows shooting up. “A present?”

“Yeah.”

“And when will I get to see this present?”

She shot him the same annoying smirk he’d just sported himself. “Soon enough.”

***

As the last of the negotiations drew to a close on December 29th, Aaron looked over to the slightly foggy sea. This entire country radiated the kind of tranquility and simplicity he was beginning to understand could only be found in a few places. The negotiations with the president had gone as planned, and over the next day or two, they would be working on a some more details concerning innovation projects that their administrations would be doing together, along with companies from both countries. In particular, he was happy with what they'd achieved concerning ways to stop climate change and mitigate its effects on societies.

“I do hope you’ve enjoyed your time in Finland,” quipped the President, finishing his coffee. 

“Oh, I have, sir. You have a lovely country.” 

”There is one more thing I would like to show you.”

The president’s smile was slightly crooked, amusement shining in his eyes.

“What’s what?”

“Would you happen to know how to play hockey, Mr. Vice President?” He asked.

“Please call me Aaron, sir.”

“All right. Would you happen to know how to play hockey, _Aaron?_ ”

Aaron grinned back. “What did you have in mind?”

“Every winter I put my gear on, head out to one of the rinks close by and play with some local kids.”

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. Tonight seems like a promising one. Would you like to join me?”

“Absolutely, sir.”

Afterward he could hardly believe the promise he’d made. _Shit, when had he last even been on skates?_ Well, at least his staff, the press and the President of Finland would have a good laugh at his expense. This was a misstep he could probably afford to take, after all. 

***

“You’re going to play hockey?” Asked Emily, her brows shooting up as they sat in the car, on their way to the rink.

“Yeah, with the President and local kids.”

“Do you even know how to play hockey?”

“I can skate.”

“I bet the president is better than you.”

“I’d be surprised if he wasn’t. This is a hockey country, after all.”

“Look, I hate to ruin your fun and this whole thing is a sweet idea, but have you considered that some of the people back at home could interpret this as you not being serious about your job?”

“They do that no matter what I do, Em.”

“I just hate giving them fuel.”

“And I can’t do my job properly if I live in constant fear,” he snapped, hating himself immediately. Emily didn’t deserve his frustration. “Sorry,” he whispered to her.

“Don’t worry about it. I… This is a tough time for me, too. Just so you know.”

As the sun set, the motorcade drove to an outdoor hockey rink pointed by the president’s staff, and Emily watched Aaron lace up his borrowed skates.

“I have a feeling this is going to go viral as soon as we post anything about it,” she mused, receiving a grin back from him.

“I think so too. I’ll do my best not to make too much of a clown out of myself.” 

“That's what I’m counting on.”

_***_

It turned out that she’d been right about Aaron’s lack of hockey skills, but watching the kids and the president skate circles around him was fun to watch, and it would all be on social media soon enough. The cup of cocoa in her hands warmed her, and as the icy breeze cooled her face, she laughed at him freely, her own anxiety momentarily forgotten. _If only she could always have moments like this._

Excited, she turned to her phone and looked up the websites of local hockey teams. There was no way she’d leave this city without giving Aaron something that would always remind him of this. It seemed that she had two alternatives: either buy a jersey from a local hockey team or the jersey of the Finnish national team. As she browsed the options, her eyes locked on a bright red jersey. Although the chances that he’d wear it were infinitesimally small, she had enough imagination to picture him in it, the contrast of the red jersey and his dark hair and eyes. 

“Do you have any plans for tomorrow night?” She asked, handing him his water bottle. 

“No. Did you have something in mind?”

“I bought you that present I mentioned at the hospital.”

“Really? I’ve actually got something for you too.”

“You do?”

“Of course. I admit I did ask the First Lady of Finland for some advice, though.”

She narrowed her eyes, her pulse racing. _It was just a present._ “Now I’m getting curious,” she confessed.

“You’ll have to wait until tomorrow,” he teased.

***

The jersey had been delivered to the hotel front desk while she’d been out working earlier during the day, and the present was all wrapped up and waiting to be given. Her plan was to hand it over, accept his present and then get back to her room. She even had an unopened bottle of wine waiting for her. _Easy._ Her New Year’s resolution was to quit alcohol entirely, at least for the time being. It would be easier when she no longer had to talk herself out of going into Aaron’s hotel room and staying. 

The phone in her hand vibrated.

_Come to the lobby._

Emily frowned. _What are you up to?_

_Are you afraid of heights?_

She groaned. _Not really._

_Then you’ve got nothing to worry about._

Somehow she doubted it.

_***_

This would be the perfect night to tell her. After all, he had jewelry in a gift bag and champagne in ice, waiting for them. And yet he was only toying with the idea, unwilling to commit to a decision. _Wasn’t that hesitation the answer he was looking for?_ Except that his feelings had nothing to do with being unsure about Emily and what he wanted from her. 

Soon she emerged from the elevators, carrying a lumpy package. He smiled at her, raising his hand in a wave.

“Where are you taking me?” She asked, placing a hand on her hip. 

“It’s a surprise, you’ll see soon.”

“I’m thinking I shouldn’t go anywhere with you,” she murmured as he led her to the doors, towards their car.

Chuckling, he slipped beside her on the backseat. The car slid out into the street for their short drive. The surprise would be ruined soon enough.

“Still not telling me?”

“Wait for five minutes.”

The streets were mostly empty, with only some pedestrians standing or smoking outside restaurants, meaning that they reached their last turn even sooner than he’d anticipated.

“We’re going to a Ferris wheel?” She exhaled, her eyes wide as she stared at the contraption standing right at the edge of the sea. The views overlooking the harbor should be great.

“Yeah. All the gondolas are fully covered, so it shouldn’t be too breezy up there. Apparently they also have a sauna compartment to rent, but I thought you wouldn’t agree to that.”

“You’d be right about that one.”

“Does this mean you’re not going to bolt and run straight back to the hotel as soon as we stop?” He joked.

“Yeah. I guess this Ferris wheel looks sturdy enough for me to step on.”

“You should also know that the Secret Service wouldn’t let me get on it if it wasn’t safe.”

“That _is_ reassuring to know.”

He helped her out of the car and into their gondola, where the champagne was waiting.

They took their seats as the gondola began moving. Climbing higher and higher, they watched in silence. She released a sigh, her head falling to the side to rest against his shoulder. Even through his coat, he could sense the warmth of her cheek. His hand reached for hers, and she didn’t wrench it away. 

Perhaps it would be better to remain quiet and let the moment speak for itself, but he was afraid she’d pull away as soon as he stopped distracting her.

“So, what has been your favorite thing about the last year?” He asked. 

“Hmmmm… Seeing so many amazing new places, probably.”

“Right.” Her answer was a safe one, but if he had to be honest, he could think of a few other moments that surpassed all others. 

“What’s yours?”

Aaron shrugged lightly. “It’s hard to say since I still feel like I’m new at this job and know next to nothing.” At least that part was true. 

“You know that’s not true. Few people would’ve been better prepared for this than you.”

“I couldn’t have achieved half of what I have this year if it wasn’t for you.”

“I appreciate the sentiment, but I’m hardly irreplaceable. Nobody is. Kirkman’s learned to deal with things without me, and so will you.”

“I’m not him.”

“No, you’re a better politician and have a tougher personality.”

“You think so?”

“You didn’t grow up with the privilege he, or even I, did. You wouldn’t be here if you weren’t tough. And let’s face it, isn’t this how you felt about Kirkman when he first became president? That he wasn’t suited for the position and that even you were better equipped for it?” 

Chuckling lightly, he felt Emily grin into his shoulder.

“What gave it away?”

“You still remain the most arrogant man I’ve ever come across.”

“Hopefully that’s not the biggest thing you’ll remember about me.”

“It’s not,” she promised, growing serious.

As they finally reached the top of the ride, he focused on the view. The sun had set hours ago, but the city was bathed in light. The City Hall. The Presidential Palace. The Lutheran Cathedral. 

“This is beautiful,” she murmured.

Swallowing, he nodded. “It is.”

“Thank you for bringing me here, Aaron.”

“You’re welcome.”

It was time to give her the present, so he reached for the gift bag. 

“Here. Merry belated Christmas.”

“Thank you, here’s yours,” she replied, handing over the lumpy package wrapped in bright red paper.

“Thank you.”

Emily got her present open first, and he heard her gasp audibly when she lifted the lid of the box. 

“Oh my god, Aaron… This is too much.”

“It really isn’t.”

The silvery links of the necklace and the bracelet reminded him of flowers or butterflies, and as soon as the clerk at the store had shown the set to him, he’d pictured her wearing them. They weren’t too fancy for everyday use, especially for someone working in politics. And when he’d heard the name of the line, he’d known this was the one he had to give her. 

“Their collections have names,” he said, clearing his throat.

“What’s this one called?”

“Dream, but in Finnish of course.” It was almost too appropriate, but even if he never actually said the words, she would know what this meant, wouldn’t she? That she- no, _they-_ were his dream, that he loved her. That he was hers in any way she wanted him to be. 

Her voice sounded hoarse as she nodded. “That’s… I like it.”

“Me too.”

“It’s beautiful.”

“I’m glad you like it, and I hope you'll wear it,” and possibly think about him while doing it.

“Open yours now.”

Tearing the paper, he discovered a bright red jersey hoodie.

“I thought it would be a good souvenir from this trip, to remind you of your hockey experiment,” she explained.

“This is a local hockey team?”

“Yes.”

“I should’ve caught one of their games,” he sighed. It was a great gift.

“Do you like it?”

“I do. Thank you.”

As she grew silent once more, he nudged her with an elbow.

“What is it?”

“This is already starting to feel like a goodbye.”

“I promised you a New Year’s Eve party, didn’t I?”

“You did,” she admitted.

“So therefore this isn’t a goodbye.” The only difference between tonight and the party was that there would be way too many people present. Maybe she’d even go out with them to celebrate, while he’d have to retire to his room alone. And yet he refused to believe he wouldn’t get a chance to talk to her alone after the party.

"Shall we toast?" She asked, motioning to the still unopened bottle of champagne.

"Yeah, of course, hold on." He poured them each a glass.

"To a successful year, and to the future?" He asked.

"Sure."

***

It was nearly 9 PM on New Year's Eve and everyone else had already arrived, except for Emily, and he briefly wondered if she’d rather stay in her room for the night and avoid him entirely. It would be a disappointment, but if there was anything he’d come to realize, it was that he had to be willing to let her go her own way. 

And suddenly, there she was, her dark gaze friendly, flashing him a brief smile that he knew she wouldn’t award anyone else with...

Emily was a sight to behold in her long, dark blue lace dress. The glittery fabric hugged her waist in a way that made him itch to wrap his arms around her, see how well she fit against him. She was the epitome of class and still managed to take his breath away. She was always beautiful, but tonight was different. _It’s because it’s her last night working for you. Leaving makes her happy._

“Hey,” he said, looking around the room to make sure she was the only one to hear his next words. “You look good.” It was the understatement of the year, easily.

She raised a brow at him. “Don’t forget that you’re still my boss for another three hours or so,” she joked, still pleased by the compliment.

“I haven’t forgotten.” In fact, he had been practically counting down the minutes to the end of her employment, to the moment he could tell her what he so yearned to. 

***

The restaurant he'd rented for the party was at the topmost floor of a hotel close to the one they were staying at, and even had its own rooftop terrace where people could step out to and talk in the warmth of heaters. Midnight was quickly approaching and his employees looked like they were gearing up to leave the restaurant, so he decided it was time for a final toast. Clinking his fork on his wine glass, he stood up.

“I hope everyone’s had a great night so far, and a great year altogether. I’m grateful for all the work you guys have done this year, and I’m sure everyone will agree with me when I say that we couldn’t have accomplished as much as we have without Emily Rhodes,” he paused as the rest of the staff applauded in agreement. 

“Tonight is unfortunately her last night with us, and I want to wish her the best of luck with the next chapter of her life.” He cursed internally as he realized his voice was cracking despite his efforts not to look at Em straight in the eye until he was finished with his speech. 

“So, I would like to raise a toast to two things: the new year and Emily’s next adventure. Happy New Year!”

Everyone in the room echoed his words, and he slumped back into his chair.

The dinner had been a hoot, and he didn’t regret throwing the party. All night he'd watched as Emily chatted with her colleagues, a carefree smile on her face. 

“Do you mind staying behind for a while? There's something I want to talk about,” He whispered as everyone was busy with their desserts. 

She blinked at him, but nodded. “Okay.”

***

She wasn’t sure how to feel about her last night, but the company of her colleagues relieved the tension in her. After this, she had only a few weeks to wait until The Appointment. Throughout the dinner, she'd been stealing glances at Aaron when she could be sure he wouldn’t notice. Looking at him made her feel sad. If there was anything she knew, it was that he didn’t want her to go, and that was far from meaningless. Two years ago she would’ve never believed they could grow so close again, that the rift between them would ever heal, and yet it had. It was a miracle of a sort. Now, especially with the passing of her mom, he was her closest friend. _If only it ended there._

Handing over her heart wasn’t possible, and Aaron deserved more than her doubts and fears. Every time she felt his eyes on her body, it made her shiver in pleasure. After so many years since their first meeting she could still elicit that reaction from him, and it thrilled her. There was nobody else who had ever been able to do this to her. If she truly believed it would lead to anything good, she would go to his room after this party ended and not leave until she had to catch her flight. _Until she had enough memories of him to last an entire lifetime._

“Hey, do you want to come along? We’re all heading to some bar a couple of blocks away. The president’s aides said it’s supposedly a good one,” asked Amy, one of the foreign policy advisors on their team. 

“Uh, no thanks. I think I’ll turn in soon,” she replied, eyeing Aaron who was leaning against the railing, his back turned to the rest of them. It wouldn’t feel right to leave without saying her goodbyes to him, preferably alone. That was what she assumed Aaron had in mind as well. 

As the rest of the staff piled out, their mood raucous, she stepped out to the terrace to take her place beside Aaron, who had chosen to stand close to the railing, with his back turned to her. 

“Hi,” she started.

“Hey.” The smile he offered her didn’t reach his eyes. "Is everyone else gone?" He asked.

"Yup, they wanted to visit some bar a few blocks away."

"I figured they had something like that in mind. You didn't want to join in?"

"I thought this was more important. We go a long way back, after all."

"We do... So, I guess your _plans_ haven’t changed?”

Emily sighed. _He wouldn’t let this go, would he?_ And yet she didn’t want to argue with him. Surely everything they’d been through together deserved better than that. 

“No, they haven’t,” she replied lightly, hoping her answer would be enough for him to end the conversation there.

***

”Although I was angry when I said it for the first time, I meant what I said about helping you have a child," he assured her. 

Emily shook her head. “Aaron… Look… Like I said back then, it would be a huge scandal for you,” she explained, as if he didn’t know that already.

He shrugged. “I know, but it doesn’t matter to me. The right wing pundits are going to talk about me and despise me no matter what I do.”

“Even so, I also don’t want my kid to become a talking point in right wing radio shows. I want them to be able to be just a kid.”

 _He really hadn’t thought about it that way, had he?_ Now he felt stupid. 

“Right, of course. What about if I promised that nobody would know I’m the father- aside from the two of us? You wouldn’t have to put me in the birth certificate, either. I’d stay away from the baby. It’d be just like you wanted,” he choked. He couldn't really imagine having a child he could never see, but for Emily he'd do it.

Her eyes were wide with shock as she placed a hand on his arm. “You can’t mean that, Aaron. And I could never do that to you,” she said, her voice soft but stern.

 _She really did not want anything from him._ His suggestion had been a last resort to offer her even some of himself. She meant what she’d told him in her office weeks ago. 

“Okay. I- it was a stupid suggestion, I won’t bring it up again.” After tonight he would have ample time to lick his wounds in peace.

“Thank you. Uh, you said you wanted to talk to me about something.”

“I did. I mean, I do.” Taking a deep breath, he finally realized how wrong it would be to tell her how much he loved her and beg her for things she hadn’t been ready nor willing to give him at any time in the last three years. 

Right now she was radiant, _happy._ Looking forward to the new phase of her life, to letting go of politics for a while at least. He had a hard time believing she’d retire for good, but a break would probably do her good. Confessing would ruin it. _Let her go on with her life._ He’d deal with this shitshow of a life all by himself. 

The setting for this talk was nothing short of romantic, though. He’d created exactly the kind of scene where ridiculously sappy confessions of undying love were made, and yet he wasn't going to do it. 

“What is it?”

“I wanted to apologize for my behavior. Well, _again_. And wish you good luck with… Everything. The baby. All of it.”

“But you still disagree with my decision.”

He shrugged. “So what if I do? When you said it didn’t concern me, you were right. I want you to know that I support you in whatever you want to do.”

“Thank you. That really means a lot to me.”

“Good. When you leave, drop me a line every now and then… Or call. Or answer my calls, unless you’d rather I didn’t call.”

She seemed to hesitate with her answer, and that was when he decided he wasn't going to try and contact her. “You can call me if you want to.”

“And I’d love to be able to see the baby someday, if you have one. Maybe drop in a present.”

“That’s really generous of you. And you didn’t have to apologize to me again.”

“I'm definitely _not_ being generous here. I guess my point here is: don’t be a stranger.”

She nodded.

“It’s past midnight now, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, it’s 12:03. Happy New Year,” he sighed, smiling at her wistfully.

“That means I can do this with a clear conscience,” she replied before wrapping her arms around him. Chuckling, he returned the gesture, holding onto her tightly as if he never wanted her to leave. Coincidentally, that happened to be the truth. As he inhaled the sweet scent of her perfume, he tried to force himself to remember it, for as long as it would be before he got to see her again. His eyes burned, and he was just too tired and hopeless to keep himself completely together. A sob left him, but thankfully Emily didn’t retreat. Her grasp on him tightened, but otherwise she stayed where she was, remaining silent. 

They were thousands of miles away from home and she was _right there,_ and yet he was already missing her as if she was already gone. 

The minutes ticked on and they stayed on the rooftop terrace, a few stray snowflakes falling on them as he cried as quietly as he could. It was a prolonged goodbye, and he wouldn’t have had it any other way.

_***_

Raising her head from his chest, Emily reached out to place her hands on his face. He stayed still, his eyes meeting hers. Everything she was feeling was echoed in Aaron’s gaze.

“Thank you for everything,” she croaked, tears streaming down her cheeks. 

The entire world seemed to go silent as she stood on her tiptoes and kissed him, hoping he would understand the kiss for what it was. _The perfect goodbye._

If only there was enough strength in her to say the words that would change everything once more. Maybe the kiss would be enough for him to walk away from her with the knowledge of what he meant to her, but she couldn’t be sure. So many things had happened between them over the years, and she should regret most of them, but she didn’t. She wouldn’t regret falling for Aaron Shore. Or Rivera. Or whatever he wanted to be called. No matter the last name, the man remained the same. His heart and soul remained the same, and would stay with her until the end of her days. 

His palms found her hips, gently pulling her closer, and she went willingly, melting in his embrace. A single kiss could not last forever, but she wasn’t in a hurry to part from him, and neither was he. 

***

The next morning Emily packed up the rest of her things and headed for the airport. Aware that Aaron would be staying for another couple of days, she had booked a flight to New York and secured a train ticket from Penn Station. It was quiet everywhere as it was New Year’s Day, but to her it felt like a sign that something monumental had come to an end and the entire world around her was reeling from the loss. The thought was ridiculous. 

As she took her seat on the plane, she had time to think. _What now, Emily?_ There were no duties to fulfill, no emails to answer or calls to make. _No Aaron to talk to._


	10. February

_Emily recited her well-rehearsed speech as she strode down the hallways of the U.S. Senate. Sure, she was new in town, but that didn’t mean she was going to let it stop her from finishing her task. She’d heard horror stories about Senator Morris’ chief of staff she would have to get on her side in order for her own boss’s initiative to have a fair shot. Frankly, based on the stories this guy was probably not even human. Ruthless. Snake. Hard-ass. Stone-faced. She shook her head. Of course Aaron Shore was human. Everyone was human, even if it was very, very deep down._

_In her mind, she imagined facing a white, middle aged man, probably someone who’d look down his nose at a young woman trying to advance a bill on housing for low-income people. Sighing, she wondered if she’d be less nervous if she’d been able to stare at that guy’s photo and visualize convincing him._

_Staring at the folder in her hands, she realized something was wrong. The papers inside were in the wrong order. As she cursed under her breath, she suddenly collided into something. Or someone, to be more specific. Everything she’d been holding went flying to the floor, and she could barely hold her own balance._

_“I’m so sorry,” she mumbled apologetically, reaching to the floor to grab her documents, but the man she’d ran into was faster, already on his haunches._

_“It was my fault too, I was on the phone and wasn’t watching where I was going,” he spoke._

_Then he raised his head to hand her the folder and some papers that had spilled from her pile, and she was pretty sure she skipped a breath. Emily Rhodes did not swoon over men, but this guy was… Well, definitely not something she’d expect to run into there. His dark hair was slicked back, but a stray strand was trying to escape, making her briefly wonder if this was something he’d only recently begun doing to his hair. She had to avert her eyes from his, scared the intense gaze in his dark brown eyes would unlock things she didn’t want them to. He wasn’t overly tall, but certainly had a few inches on her, and he definitely wasn’t one of the gangly young guys she sometimes saw working for representatives and senators._

_The slightly arrogant grin he flashed at her as he must’ve realized she was admiring him shook her out of her thoughts. And yet there was that bit of boyishness and vulnerability in the expression that made her determine that the obnoxiousness probably wasn’t all bad._

_“Is that everything you dropped?” He asked._

_She nodded. “Yeah, that should be everything. Sorry, again.”_

_“Don’t worry about it. Have a good day, Miss,” he nodded at her before turning on his heel and disappearing down the hallway. She watched as he picked up his phone again and soon started speaking Spanish in a voice so low she could barely recognize the language._

_A glance at her watch told her that she still had twenty minutes until her appointment with Shore. Damn, why had she come so early in first place?_

_When finally, after all the fidgeting and mumbling under her breath, she stepped into the senator’s chief of staff’s office, she suddenly found herself out of words._

***

Developing a new routine once you realize you’re no longer needed anywhere takes time. It took Emily more than a month to settle. Every morning she’d drink her coffee while the TV blared in the background and she eyed the headlines of major newspapers. It wasn’t that different from what she was used to doing, but she was an outsider now, with no power over anything that happened mere blocks away from her apartment. It was always the mentions of Aaron that hit her the hardest. Although she was starting to feel that life could indeed go on even without her mom and after her attack, she was still struggling to adjust to an Aaron-less life. He popped into her mind at the most random times, like when she was about to fall asleep. For some reason their first meeting had been on her mind a lot recently. _It was called processing._ After her mom's death, she'd dreamed about her at least once a week. The first months she'd looked anguished, her body destroyed by cancer, and had stared straight into Emily's soul with tears in her eyes. Over time it had changed, her mother occupying her dreams less often, and when she did, she was back to being healthy, smiling at her. The last time Emily saw her had been in November as her time in the White House had been about to come to a close. Her mom, bathed in white light, had nodded at her, mouthing the words _It'll be all right_. Aaron was still very much alive and she prayed he would remain so for a long time, but now she was going through something similar, and flashbacks when her mind was idle or worn out were a natural part of it.

So far she hadn’t had luck in her baby project, and she wasn’t sure how to continue. She’d thought she could get over knowing her child’s father only as a serial number, aside from his general looks and medical information. The donor she’d chosen sounded like someone she wouldn’t be able to pick out of a line, the description being that he had medium dark hair and grey eyes and stood at 5’11’’. The clinic had agreed to her decision to take a break so she could think things over some more, now that she had more space in her life. It would’ve been a whole different story if she’d accepted Aaron’s offer to be the donor, but she still knew she’d made the right call. _How could she ever keep his child from him?_ The whole idea struck her as nothing but a cruel punishment for the failure to… What? To change the outcome of their story?

If there was something she had to admit Aaron had been right about was not isolating herself from her friends. That wasn’t the way she wanted to live her life. Maybe one day she could even re-introduce Aaron into it, and not feel as if she’d missed out on an entire life. 

Fulfilling her promise, she dialed Seth’s number.

“Hey, are you free for lunch sometime? Next week, or next month, maybe?” She asked with a laugh, figuring that he would be tied up at work as usual. 

“Actually I’m about to head to the zoo with Carlo.”

“You’re taking a day off?”

Seth chuckled. “I know, can you believe it?”

“I really can’t.”

“Do you want to join us?”

“At the zoo?”

“Yeah. Or do you have other plans?”

“Nope, no plans,” she sighed. “Okay, you talked me into it. I’ll see you at the gate.”

An hour later she met up with Seth outside the Smithsonian Zoo. He had Baby Carlo in two, strapped to his chest in a carrier. She couldn’t help but grin stupidly at the child. He was adorable with his chubby cheeks and black hair and eyes. 

“Can I take him for a while?” She asked.

“Sure, he could use something else to look at besides my face.”

Laughing, she accepted the baby from Seth. He was on the heavy side, but she loved the feel of his tiny warm body against hers. _Soon._

”So, how are you? For real?”

Smiling at her friend, Emily tightened her hold on little Carlo. “I’m good. Seriously. Better than… Well, in a very long time.”

“That’s great to hear. It’s what I hoped would happen once you left-“

“You think I’m better because I left?”

“I just thought maybe-

Emily shook her head, frowning. “Look, you’re wrong. If I hadn’t come back, I don’t think I could’ve dealt with what happened with my mom. I needed the job as much as Aaron needed me to take it.”

Seth nodded. “Okay, if you say so.”

“How are things? Both at home and at work?” She asked, not necessarily to avoid the subject of her own life, but she was genuinely curious about how much he’d tell her. 

Sighing, Seth stopped. “Things are good at home, we’ll leave it at that. It’s been great to get to be a part of Carlo’s life in a way I never got to be part of Stephanie’s.”

“And work?”

He glared at her, the expression making her anxious.

“What is it?”

“You’ve got to promise me that you won’t dwell on what I tell you. _None_ of this is any of your concern or you fault in any way whatsoever.”

Narrowing her eyes, she scoffed. “Just spit it out already, I’m a big girl.”

“People are talking. About Aaron in specific. That he doesn’t go home to sleep anymore, and just works and works.”

A cold burden settled in her gut at Seth’s words. “Well, I know he’s got to have a lot on his plate,” she tried, not believing her own words. _Excuses. Lies._

“Well, he’s about to add another one, namely burnout. But like I said, this isn’t your fault and you don’t have to do anything about it.”

“I know,” she swallowed, imagining Aaron in his office all night long, all alone. _Night after night._

“Do you? I’ll deal with it myself, I promise. I know you wouldn’t want any of this for him.”

She nodded. “Thank you.”

“Have you had any tempting job offers?” He asked. 

“Yeah, a few good ones… From senators and think tanks mostly, but also from Florida, and some Midwest state legislators.”

“But you haven’t accepted any of them?”

“No. I’m honestly not sure if I want to stay in politics, at least in the short term. I… Sort of have other plans.”

Seth arched a brow. “Really? What?”

She stopped to consider her words. There weren’t many people who knew about her baby plans, but what was the harm in telling Seth at this point? 

“I want to have a child,” she admitted, averting her gaze from his to look at the baby in her arms instead.

“Wow,” he exhaled. “I- I wasn’t expecting that.”

“I think it’s never going to be a better time for me to do it.”

“You using a donor?”

“Yeah.” She was most definitely _not_ going to mention Aaron’s offer to father her child.

“Have you told people about this?”

“As in _people,_ are we talking about someone in particular?”

He shrugged. “Maybe.”

“He knows.”

“Okay. Not that I’m saying you had an obligation-“

“It was an accident. Him knowing, I mean.”

“How did he take it?”

“I… Can we not talk about it? Please,” she pleaded. 

Raising his palms in surrender, Seth stepped back.

“Sorry, none of my business. Tell me more about those job offers.”

***

_Emily Rhodes was the girl from the hallway, the one who had the telltale look of a D.C. newcomer. He’d taken her to be a new staff member, but despite her being a total knockout, he didn’t eat from the load. At least at this point of his career it would be a bad idea to mix business and pleasure. Nevertheless, there were so many people in the city that were either directly or indirectly connected with politics that it just might become difficult to stick to that principle._

_After pretty much plowing into her as he’d been trying to calm his mom down over the phone he’d helped her get her papers back together, and now she was standing in front of his desk, insisting that he take her boss’s initiative to his boss. It was a shame to have to be the one to push her back to the ground, but he would be doing her a favor. This was the cruelest city in America, she wouldn’t make it long unless she toughened up._

_Taking a cursory look at the folder she’d placed in front of him, Aaron shook his head and pushed it back at her._

_“No. Sorry, Ms. Rhodes.”_

_“Why?”_

_“This isn’t something the senator would back.”_

_“How is he going to make that decision if he doesn’t even get to see it for himself?”_

_“It’s my job to weed out the things he shouldn’t waste his time on.”_

_“You don’t think your boss would support reducing poverty and homelessness?” She asked, crossing her arms over her chest defensively._

_Now she was either needling him on purpose or had reached the conclusion that he was a horrible person, as was his boss._

_“I’d expect you to be fully aware that there are several ways to achieve that. Some require more funds than others.”_

_“And some work better than others,” she replied, refusing to give up. He had to admit that she was stubborn, and not as easily intimidated as he’d had her pegged._

_“Sure. Still, it’s a no from me this time. Take it back to your boss and revise it, then bring it back and I’ll take another look at it,” he conceded, surprising even himself. He hadn’t gotten his current job or his reputation by handing out advice to inexperienced political newbies and making promises of second chances._

_Despite the fact that Emily Rhodes didn’t even know him, even she seemed baffled by his promise._

_“Are you being serious?”_

_By God he had no idea why he was doing this, but he was. “Yeah. For what it’s worth, I like your premise. As in I mean that I think the senator would agree with me.”_

_“Well, thanks for that,” she answered, finally reaching out to take her folder back._

_As his palm was still resting on the folder, her hand grazed his briefly. His breath caught in his throat as something in him shifted. Covering the hitch in his breath, he coughed, pulling his hand from hers._

_There was the ghost of a smile on her face as she turned away from him and he wondered if she’d felt it too._

_She stopped at his door before opening it._

_“If you ask me, you’re not worthy of your reputation, Mr. Shore.”_

_He was mostly aware of what people said about him, and he’d done little to rectify their impressions of him. Looked like this woman had found a weak spot in his routine._

***

Aaron would never forget about their first meeting. He'd come a long way, and so had she. Somewhere along the line lay all the missed opportunities. Exhaling, he turned his focus on the computer screen.

_Dear Emily_

_I love you. That’s all I wanted to tell you. I know it’s too late and I’m not asking for anything, but I wanted you to know that, because I need to find a way to move on. I think we could’ve had a great life together, but I know it’s not in the cards._

Scoffing, he erased the entire message. _Why was he even considering sending her an email? How sad of a man had he become?_ She could delete it right after reading it and never answer his calls again. He’d never get to see her face and actually know what she thought.

The last six weeks had been agony for him, and these days he often stayed in his office around the clock. There was so much work to do, and so many things helping him awake. Working non-stop also helped him deal with her absence. Her successor was a skilled woman, handpicked by Emily herself, but it wasn’t the same. It would never be the same. 

His Secret Service details shot pitying looks his way, but he hadn’t opened up to anyone. There wasn’t anyone who would understand. He’d tried texting her a few times, but ended up erasing the messages. Same with calls. He was tired of faking, and if the choice was between not speaking to her or keeping his true thoughts to himself when they talked, surely the first option was the preferable one. 

_I don’t know what to do without you. I’m so sorry for all the times I messed up and didn’t tell you how much you mean to me. You’re the one for me. I understand if you don’t feel the same, but I want you to know that. I wanted to tell you that in Helsinki, but I was a coward._

Groaning, he hit the backspace key again and again to get rid of the words. It was 8 PM, and most of the staff had already left or were getting ready to leave, so he wasn’t entirely surprised to hear a knock at his door. It was probably Ingrid, his new Chief of staff, coming to bid him a good night. She was in her fifties and a consummate professional, who still went home to her husband every night without him having to send her home. 

“Come on in,” he called.

“So the rumors are true, then,” sighed Seth, throwing himself into the chair opposite to him.

“What rumors are we talking about?”

“That the Vice President is about to have a nervous breakdown of some kind.”

He frowned. People were really saying that about him?

“That is not a thing, Seth, and I think you came up with those rumors all by yourself.”

“Actually, I didn’t. People talk. You work 24 hours a day, and it raises questions.”

“I have work to do.”

“You look rougher than I do, and I have a baby.”

“People are never happy, are they? Why wouldn’t they be happy with a Vice President who works night and day to make things better?”

“You’re so full of shit, Aaron. And not for the first time. I came here to check on you, not just as the press secretary, but as a favor to Emily. She’s gone, and that’s hard. I miss her, too, although I saw her yesterday.”

Looking at Seth for the first time since he’d entered the office, Aaron knew he looked way too interested for comfort, but it was only Seth. He could let up just a little bit in front of the guy. 

“You did?”

“Yeah. That’s what friends do. They get together. She told me to tell you she said hi.”

So Emily wasn’t worried about him. _Good._ That was… Good. She wasn’t as pathetic as he was. 

“Well, thanks,” he quipped, pretending you focus on the empty desktop of his computer. “How was she?” He then relented.

“Seemed fine to me.”

“That’s great. Now, would you get out of my office? You’ve got family waiting for you, and I have-“

“Yeah, you have some important moping and wallowing in self pity to do. I get it, you’ve got a full schedule.”

“You’re the one who told me to get over it,” he hissed. “As you said, she’s _gone_ , so there’s no need for us to talk about her more than we already have.”

“I did say that, and I’m sorry, I was too harsh with you after Emily’s attack.”

“You had a point, so don’t sweat it.”

“I’m not, you jackass.”

The insult made Aaron’s blood boil and made him finally face Seth again.

“Jackass?” He repeated for good measure, his eyes narrowing.

“You’ve always been a jackass. I used to think you were an evil jackass, but over the years I learned I was wrong. You’re a _well meaning_ jackass. Doesn’t change the jackass part of the assessment, though.”

“Is there a point somewhere in this or do you just want to get a rise out of me? We already had a talk about Emily after her attack, and I’m not interested in another one. She’s gone, and will never work here again. I’m not mourning a nonexistent love story.”

“I never said it was nonexistent, you’re the one who made that up.”

“You told me to move on. This _is_ me moving on. If you can’t stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, Seth.”

“How original. You’d make a great speech writer,” joked Seth darkly.

“And _you_ still haven’t gotten to the point.”

“Okay. You know how Em is, she doesn’t always show how she feels about things, but I know she wouldn’t want you to burn yourself out. Maybe you do know that. Either way, that’s what I came to say. Take care of yourself. If not for your own sake, then at least for hers. Or the country’s, because we all need you at your best.”

He glared back at Seth, but offered no reply. His friend got up, turning to leave, when Aaron decided he needed someone to talk to, and Seth was the best available option, despite the subject matter. This was going to be awkward. So very awkward. 

“Emily said… She said that her and I were like the two of you.”

Seth stopped, his head swiveling around until they were face to face.

 _“What?”_ He asked, frowning.

“She told me that what happened between her and me was just as big of a mistake as what happened with you two,” he elaborated.

“I can’t believe we’re about to have this discussion,” groaned Seth, no longer looking at Aaron, but his eyes focused on the ceiling instead, as if praying to a higher power.

Aaron shook his head, regretting his decision to say anything. “That makes two of us… You know what? Forget I said anything. Have a good night, man.”

“I don’t particularly enjoy thinking back to that wholly embarrassing time in my life, but let me say this: she was _lying_ , okay? You know Em. She guards her heart better than anyone I’ve ever known. I was a piss poor stand-in that she only went for because you refused to make a move on her. It was a colossal mistake that I should’ve foreseen myself.”

Aaron blinked back. 

“I hope you heard what I said because I don’t plan on repeating it, now or ever. I’ll pretend we never had this talk, and I hope you can do the same.”

“Consider it done.” Hell, he didn’t want to be reminded of it more than was necessary.

“Thank you,” sighed Seth. “By the way… I don’t think it’d be stupid to try to change the outcome. Life’s too short for that. I’m sorry if I made you think it wasn’t worth the fight. It’s never been up to me to decide that for you, or for Em.”

He nodded back at Seth, allowing the man to leave. Moving his gaze to the computer screen, his exhaustion returned. He wasn’t going to find any answers there, was he? Running his hands through his hair, he knew what had to be done. The most important night of his life would start by pressing a button on the phone on his desk.

***

“With all due respect, sir, I don’t like this. It’s impossible to secure the perimeter, there are too many people around,” argued Harris as they strode towards the car. “If you want to see Ms. Rhodes, we can have her escorted to-“

“I don’t want her _escorted_ anywhere, Harris. If she doesn’t want to see me, then that’s her choice. I have to go to her.”

“So you’ve told me, but that doesn’t change the reality, sir.”

“It’s only for a little while. I need to talk to her, that’s all. Then we can leave and you can sleep in peace.”

“Are you ready to go right now, sir?”

“The sooner, the better,” Aaron confirmed. _God, his voice was already shaking and Emily wasn’t even anywhere in the vicinity._

***

 _Water bottle. Towel. Training shoes. Wireless headphones._ That should be everything.

Emily was late for her Thursday night Pilates she’d begun attending with Kendra, thanks to an extended phone call with a senator’s aide. It was another good job offer, but she couldn’t seem to make up her mind on where to head next. Nothing felt like the right fit, but she had to stop keeping tabs on Aaron. There was no need for her to know exactly in which state or country he was at any given time, and yet she knew everything. _It’s not your job anymore._

She wondered about him every day, especially if he was lonely. If he had found another friend and confidante to replace her. _If he was seeing anyone_. Although that one seemed unlikely, because the press would know for sure if that was the case. There was nothing to know on that front, and it gave her a sick satisfaction that she despised. It was hard to find someone to date when you were Vice President, but one day he would find a woman who’d be more than happy to commit to him and give him a family. 

Even the smallest things could remind her of him. A whiff of the cologne he’d used that night in Florida. A Spanish song where the accent reminded her of his, although she’d only heard him use the language a handful of times. A man in the street that could be mistaken for Aaron from the behind. 

The knock at her door made her jump. God knew she’d been nothing if not jumpy ever since the attack. Her mind had been temporarily at ease when she’d had Secret Service with her, but now her anxiety was back. Slowly, she approached the door, convincing herself that she was safe. She held onto her phone, ready to call 911 at the first sign of trouble.

The peephole revealed a man standing in the hallway, flanked by two others. She would’ve known that figure anywhere. _But what was he doing there?_

“Emily?” He called out gently. 

Opening the security chain, she opened the door. 

“Hey,” he said, flashing her an uncertain smile. _Was that a tremor she detected in his voice?_

“Hi. Uh, do you want to come in?” She asked, realizing exactly how much attention they would soon gain if she kept him waiting outside her apartment much longer. 

“Yeah, thanks.” Aaron stepped inside, even his movements tense. _Something was definitely going on._ Emily cleared her throat before speaking. “What’s wrong?” 

“I… I need to talk to you. And I hope you’ll listen to me. I won’t bother you long. 

She frowned, unable to even comprehend that he’d come to her apartment, much less that he seemed so distraught. 

“Go ahead,” she replied, her heart beating faster in her chest, as if it anticipated something. _A resolution. A sequel. The sequel._

Refusing to sit still, he came to stand in front of her, his eyes searching hers before taking her hand.

“I’m not saying I believe everything you said back then in your office, but I can respect that. But if it’s over, I think you should still know the truth. I want you to know… That it couldn’t have been just anyone for me. I wanted to be with you. I love you, have loved you for so long I don’t even remember a time when I didn’t feel this way. I know you’re scared and if you want to hold onto what you said that night in your office, so be it. But I had to do this, because it’s the only thing I haven’t tried.”

When she stood in front of him, keeping her eyes on him but not reacting in any way to his confession, he stood up to leave.

“Right. Uh, I know it’s late and… I’m sorry if I interrupted your plans for the night. I’ll see myself out-“

A few long strides took her to the door, where she settled against it, blocking his path out of her apartment. “No,” she said. _Not this time._

“No?”

“I lied,” she confessed, her voice quiet.

Aaron turned, hope returning to his gaze.

“What happened with you and me was nothing like me

and Seth. We’ve always been different.”

He nodded. “Yeah, we have.”

“I- I wanted to be with you that night. I wouldn’t have slept with anyone.”

“I know. I’m sorry our first time was like that… And I’m sorry I cheated on Isabel, but I’m not sorry I was with you. I’ll never be sorry for that. That morning, I was scared of how you’d react, and regretful because our first time should’ve happened under different circumstances. Then you woke up and left without a word, and I… I figured you didn’t want me after all.”

“I left because I was ashamed, and scared. Sleeping with another woman’s boyfriend has never been my style, and I was scared of how I felt about you. Ashamed, even.”

“I should’ve done what I was planning the night before… Ended things with Isabel, I mean. But I… I don’t even know what I was thinking, I only knew you didn’t want me.”

“The problem has never been lack of interest, no matter how I made it seem. I haven’t treated you fairly either, and I’m sorry, Aaron. You deserve better than that.”

“You have your reasons, but I’m not like your dad.”

“I know that. It’s one of the reasons I love you.”

Taking her hands in his, he stopped mere inches from her, so close she could feel his body heat radiating off him.

“Is there any way you could repeat that? Just to make sure I got it right.”

She chuckled nervously. “I love you…” she trailed off.

“But?” He suggested.

“We’re in different places in our lives.”

“Obviously. I don’t know if you went through with the treatments, but if you’re pregnant, I just want you to know that it doesn’t scare me. I would love that baby as if it were mine,” he vowed, slipping a finger under her chin, his forehead touching hers lightly. Her breath caught in her throat, she remembered his touch from _that night,_ in the hallway. Fire sizzled in her veins at having him so close, just like it had for years now.

“I don’t want to be called Uncle Aaron by any kid of yours. I want to be Dad, or Daddy, or Papi or something else like that.”

“You really mean that?” She choked out.

“I’m dead serious,” he replied, his mouth meeting hers in a tender kiss. 

As she gulped in air after the kiss, she tried not to get too lost in him, not before she could tell him the truth.

“I’m not pregnant,” she said. “I was supposed to try again next month, but…”

“Will you give this a chance?”

How was she supposed to say no to him? How was she supposed to move on and pretend she didn’t love him?

Drawing back to look him in the eye, she nodded. It felt as if she was stepping off a ledge, but his smile made sure she was caught safely after that jump.

“Yes?” He confirmed.

“Yes.”

His strong arms enveloped her right before his lips landed on hers, soft and loving but stubborn and insistent. Now that there was nothing to do but surrender, she felt featherlight, opening her mouth for him. The burden of holding her love for him  to herself was gone, replaced by anticipation. _There was much to come, and not only tonight._

Aaron’s hand moved up to her neck and the loose bun she’d tied her hair. With one swift yank, the hair tie came off, her hair coming down. His lips left hers to nip at her neck.

“I love you so much,” he whispered.

“Love you, too.” This encounter was going to end in her bed, and she couldn’t say she minded at all. 

She pushed the heavy winter coat off his shoulders as his hands roamed all over her body, tugging at her gym top to pull it over her head, followed by her sports bra. His hands were cool on her breasts, making her shiver. Yanking on his tie, she pulled him towards her bedroom, trying in vain to open his belt buckle with only one hand. Finally he pushed her off and did the job himself, his pants joining the other clothes already on the floor. She ended up on her back, Aaron’s bigger body crowding her, but in the best way. Swiftly, he peeled her yoga pants and underwear off, leaving her totally bare underneath him. His eyes were black with lust, and yet he still took his time to simply look at her.

“I can’t believe this is happening,” she confessed with a groan as he bit her shoulder, his fingers sliding between her legs. 

“If there’s anything I can do to change that, let me know,” he told her, chuckling. He knew she had no more fight left in her, nothing to resist him with. There was only one thing she wanted right now: him buried deep in her, his powerful body letting loose only for her. 

They moved together without speaking, because for now everything that needed to be said had been voiced. It was as if time ceased to exist for them, the night seemingly lasting forever. Their first night together in that hotel room had changed things, but this one was even more meaningful, wiping the slate clean, allowing them to let go of the guilt remaining in their souls. This was how it had always been meant to end, despite their differences and the obstacles they’d faced over the years. 

She didn’t even like sleeping close to other people, needing her space even in her sleep. However, she was willing to make an exception for one night, pressing herself close to Aaron, finding his hand in the dark. His fingers entwined with hers, as if he were only half asleep as well. 

***

The dawn came, stirring Emily from her deep slumber that had resulted from being awake most of the night. Aaron was still asleep, lying on his back and snoring lightly. Gingerly, she moved closer to him, smiling to herself. She couldn’t remember when she’d last been this happy. As she lifted her head, she managed to spy the time on his wristwatch. It was only 6:45, but she knew she’d have to wake him up soon. He probably had somewhere else to be. _Oh God, his Secret Service agents had to have spent the entire night in her hallway. The neighbors would talk._ And yet that realization didn’t fill her with the panic she’d expected it to. 

Despite the early hour, she decided to opt for a shower, mostly to get time for her own thoughts. Her entire body was deliciously sore from their night together as she padded into the bathroom and turned on the water. At the last minute, she realized she’d forgotten something entirely. _Kendra._ She’d ditched her friend last night and not even texted to let her know she wouldn’t be joining her at the Pilates class. _Shit._

It took her more than a while to locate her phone, somehow it had ended up underneath Aaron’s shirt on the floor. There were six new texts, all of them from Kendra, and she’d tried calling her three times.

_Where are you?_

_Is everything okay?_

_Emily, you’re scaring me._

_Please tell me you’ve got a man in there and you’re not lying on the floor bleeding to death._

_Okay, just came by your apartment and the Secret Service is in the hallway._

_Oh my God, are you with Aaron?_

Pushing her frizzy hair behind her ears, she wondered what to tell Kendra. She kind of _did_ know the truth already.

_I’m so sorry! Yes, I was distracted. Everything’s all right. Will call soon._

There. That had to be enough for the time being. 

_So happy for you two. Talk to you soon!_

***

Blinking at the sight of the strange bedroom at first, Aaron’s head cleared soon enough for him to remember the events of the night before. The sheets beside him were still warm, but Emily was nowhere to be seen. Then he heard the shower running and sighed in relief. Stretching, he yawned and smirked to himself. _God, he was happy._ They were amazing together. _Beyond amazing. His Emily, climbing on top of him in the dark like a lioness because she couldn’t get enough of him._ The memory made him hard again, sending him to the bathroom in her wake. 

She was standing under the spray, her eyes closed, the water cascading over her naked body. As he’d hoped, there was no sign of panic on her face. Opening the door to the stall slowly, he slipped in.

“Good morning,” he greeted, wrapping his arms around her before trailing kisses down her neck.

“Morning to you, too. Don’t you have somewhere else to be?” She inquired, her laugh breathless as his hands slid lower, cupping her buttocks.

“Soon, but I’ll always make time for you,” he murmured.

“I’d like that,” she admitted hoarsely. 

“I love you,” he sighed into her ear, not wanting to waste the chance.

“Hmmm… I love you, too. It feels a little weird to say that, though,” she replied.

“I know what you mean. It’s been a long time coming.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you think you can get used to saying it?” He asked.

She pretended to consider the question. “I guess I can make an effort.” 

Tightening his hold on her, he pulled her close as he kissed her. Her finger playing with his hair, he relaxed into her touch. He’d wanted this for so long that having it now made him light-headed.

Kissing her properly, he pushed her against the wall, lifting her off the floor. Emily moaned as he nudged her legs apart and wrapped them around his hips. 

***

She took him into her, arching her hips to take him in deeper. It was amazing what he did to her; rendering her boneless and wet within seconds with his touch and kisses. Their night together had felt endless, and even this encounter felt like an extension of it. Love-making with one or two breaks in between to catch a few hours of sleep. 

Holding her against the wall, Aaron pumped hard into her, his pace intensifying by the minute.

He moaned loudly, and she felt his muscles tense and then loosen. When he placed her back on the door and she began to descend from the high she’d been since the previous night, she held onto his arm to stop him from leaving. 

“Is something wrong?” He asked, pulling her close as if on instinct. 

There was only one issue, but it was a crucial one. 

Despite hating to kill the jubilant mood, she pushed on his shoulders. 

“Aaron, I’m not on anything and I don’t have any condoms, so we shouldn’t do this-“ she gestured to their bodies “anymore. Not until I’ve had a chance to go to the store and the pharmacy.”

He looked bewildered, his eyes smoky with lust, and she expected her own to mirror his because this was killing her.

“If that’s what _you_ want, Em.”

“What are you talking about?”

“You want a baby, and we love each other.”

She chuckled darkly. “You’re not serious. We haven’t even been on one date, and you’re talking about babies.”

“You want one.”

“You don’t.”

“Not true, and I’ve never even said that. I do want one, _with you.”_

“This isn’t the right time,” she groaned, because a sliver of her had actually wished that their night together would result in a pregnancy, but her conscience had quickly snuffed out that fantasy as she’d stood in the shower. And yet she’d still welcomed him, let him have his way with her against the tiled wall. 

“Look, we’ll do whatever it is that you want. As far as I’m concerned, we can let it happen.” Meeting his eyes, Emily marked that he looked utterly unconcerned about this issue. “You mean it,” she murmured. 

“Was that a question?”

“No.”

“Even if it was, the answer would be that yes, I mean it.”

“Can I think about this for a while?”

“Of course, as long as you agree to see me tonight.”

Although she wanted nothing more than to spend an infinite number of nights in his arms, she knew he couldn’t visit her frequently. “You can’t come here, you know that too,” she told him. 

There was a flash of fear in his eyes as they locked with hers. “You need to trust me, too, Aaron,” she said, reaching out to place a hand on his jaw.

“Does that mean you’ll come and see me? Because I’m not seeing you in D.C. hotels as if you’re my mistress.”

The heated remark made her laugh. “There are way too many reporters and spies at those hotels, anyway. So no, I don’t want that. I’ll come and see you tonight.”

“Great. I’ll see you soon.”

Kissing her one more time, he finally managed to get into his clothes and out of the door. 

An hour later she received a message.

_I can’t stop thinking about you._

Sighing happily, she realized she felt the same way. 

_Ditto._

His reply was even better.

_At the risk of sounding like a total sap, I want you to know that you’ve already made me happier than I've ever been before._

Okay, now she was crying.

_You’ve got to stop this and focus on your work. I love you._

_Love you too._

***

That night, Aaron couldn’t wait to go home, but there was still one detail that he had to start sorting out immediately. Ingrid peeked her head into his office five minutes after he’d requested her to come and see him.

“You had something urgent to discuss?”

“Yeah, I do. Please come in,” he greeted her.

“About an hour ago I received some paparazzi photos of you, they were apparently taken this morning,” stated his chief of staff. “Would this talk happen to have something to do with them?”

“If you saw me leaving an apartment building with a smile on my face, then the answer would be yes.”

Ingrid nodded. “I thought so.”

Pressing his hands together, Aaron grew serious. “I’m with someone, it’s serious, and this has to be handled discreetly.”

“I can get a legal counselor if you just-”

“We’ll do that later. Right now I need a sounding board.”

“You need to get the NDAs signed,” sighed Ingrid, as if she believed him incapable of understanding English.

“It’s Emily Rhodes,” he blurted out. “I say screw the NDAs for now.”

“You’re seeing your former chief of staff?”

“Yeah.”

With a sinking stomach, Aaron noted that Ingrid looked somewhat deflated at the news. God, he’d been in such a good mood the whole day, and now… Well, she wasn’t going to tell him that he had to break up with Em, because she had no right to do that, but maybe he’d distanced himself too far from his position in his euphoric mood. He’d always known that dating someone who worked for you was a recipe for a disaster, and seeing someone who had recently left your employment wasn’t much better. Closing his eyes, he waited for her verdict, since she was one of the only people he could trust to have an unbiased view on how this would affect him politically. 

“People have had concerns recently… But today’s been a good day. Personally, I’m happy for you…” She started.

“But professionally?”

“I’m not an expert on PR, to tell you the truth. But I know there could be investigations to your conduct during her employment.”

He nodded. “I’m sure there will be.”

“On the other hand, Emily’s smart and lovely, I’m sure plenty of people would be willing to accept her as the Second Lady. It’s not all bad.”

He wasn’t going to make any promises on Emily’s behalf, especially since they hadn’t exactly talked about this in so much detail. And yet he’d told her he’d be fine with having a baby with her. 

“You’ve at least got to send out a press release soon, if you plan on keeping seeing her,” continued Ingrid.

“I know, and I do.” This could cost him a few points in popularity, but the alternatives were unthinkable. 

“Are you going to make this an early night?”

“That was the idea.”

“Excellent. I’ll go ahead and finish a few things before I leave. Have a good night.”

“You too, Ingrid. You can go ahead and make an appointment with the legal department for tomorrow.”

“I was getting worried you’d never say that! I’ll let you know about the schedule.”

“Thanks.”

***

For minutes she stood outside the building, but eventually she didn’t enter the pharmacy. The only reasons to do anything to prevent a pregnancy were the same ones she’d cast aside months months ago, before she’d become serious with the fertility clinic. _A better time would come later._ But would it, really? Laughing to herself, she realized that right now she had everything she could ask for, as far as good circumstances to have a child went: she was financially secure, still young enough, and the man she loved wanted a child with her. They weren’t strangers, and despite her pessimism, she was choosing to believe in them. Maybe she’d feel differently ten years from now, but at least she’d live with no regrets as far as Aaron was concerned.

That night Emily made herself comfortable in Aaron’s living room, having takeout sushi with her feet resting on the coffee table as she watched the news. She heard the front door open and turned to look. 

“Hey,” greeted Aaron from the door just as Harris disappeared around the corner.

“Hey, you.”

“What are we having for dinner?” He asked, eyeing her food hungrily before grabbing the extra pair of chopsticks from the table.

“Who said I was willing to share?” She teased, playfully swatting his hand away from the sushi. “Open the fridge,” she sighed.

“I knew there had to be a reason I love you,” he joked, gently kissing her before heading to the kitchen.

He settled beside her on the couch with his meal and a glass of wine.

“I like this,” he said, tugging on her braid. It really was a huge departure from her usual style.

“Oh really?”

“Yeah. It looks cute on you.”

“ _Cute?”_ She rolled her eyes.

“What do you have against cute?”

“Nobody’s ever used that word with me, that’s all.”

His arm wrapped around her shoulders, pulling her to his side briefly. 

“Get used to it,” he murmured against her hair. “So, were you watching _me_ on TV?” He asked smugly, shifting to place his arms around her midriff. 

“Don’t flatter yourself,” she teased with a grin, turning to pull him down for a kiss. “I was merely catching up on the news,” she finished. She had to admit he looked great on TV, his confidence and charm renewed, the sexy swagger of the man she’d fallen in love with evident once more. 

“I’m so glad you came,” he whispered into her ear, his voice low and soft. _Seductive._ Drawing in a deep breath, she tried to calm down her hammering heart. She wanted to talk to him before they ended up in his bed.

“I don’t think I could stay away anymore,” she exhaled. That was one of the few things she knew to be true. 

“Lucky me.”

“Yes, lucky you. How was your day?”

“Well, half of that went into practicing the speech you’ve been watching, and actually giving it. As for the rest… I’ve been trying to think about my next move. I hate to have to bring this up, but there was a photographer waiting when I left your place this morning.”

“So we’re going public then?” She couldn’t claim that she wasn’t nervous about all this, but she’d known this would be part of any relationship she wanted to have with Aaron. 

He nodded, taking her hand into his. “I think that’s for the best. There will be fewer rumors that way. I haven't even talked to Kirkman yet, so that's got to happen before I do anything else.”

She nodded, trying to imagine what the president would say. The uncertainty twisted her guts, because whether she liked it or not, his opinion did matter, and not only to her, but to Aaron, both personally and politically. “Let’s do it,” she said, squeezing his hand.

“You’re sure?” He asked, frowning. 

“I don’t have much of a choice here. I know the realities of your life, especially after the last year. I know how it’s going to have to be.”

“And you’re ready for that?”

“As long as you have my back.”

Aaron grinned. “Always.”

“Then we’ll make it through this together. If you’re willing to accept the risks this poses to your career.”

“Trust me, Em. We’re going to be fine, _I’m_ going to be fine,” he reassured her before continuing. “So, about that date…” he started.

“What date?” She replied, feigning ignorance.

“Our first official date, the one we haven’t had.”

“Aren’t we really beyond that by now?”

“Yeah, but come on, humor me. Please.”

“What did you have in mind?”

“Dinner and a Broadway show in New York next week,” he suggested.

Emily smiled in return. “Sounds acceptable, I guess,” she joked. “What are we seeing?”

“Hamilton.”

Emily snorted. “I should’ve seen that one coming.”

“What else would I be taking you to see?”

“No, it makes perfect sense.”

“Can I book the tickets?”

“Sure.”

As he leaned down to kiss her, she realized she was ready to answer another question. 

“I think you’re right, by the way.”

“Obviously, but about what this time?” He asked, leaning back on the couch.

“That we should let things take their course. If I get pregnant, then so be it.”

Picking up her hand, he brought it to his lips. 

“I’m glad you decided that.”

 _Okay, dinner was definitely over,_ she thought. Aaron seemed to agree, as he slowly unbuttoned her blouse, he kissed the tops of her breasts. She moaned softly when he moved the cups aside to get to her nipples, taking turns with each side.

Aaron settled on top of her, his broad muscular shoulders hulking her smaller figure. She thought she had a pretty good recollection of what it felt like to be stared down by a fully aroused Aaron Shore, but her current inability to breathe told another story. 

“I love you,” he said.

“I love you, too. But don’t you think we should go to the bedroom? Having the Secret Service here makes me a little anxious,” she whispered, her concern rewarded by a throaty laugh from him.

“The door’s closed, Em. Harris won’t hear a thing unless you’re really loud, but sure, we can move if you want to.”

“Excuse me? _Me_ being loud? That’s definitely not how it went last night.”

“Let’s talk about this in the bedroom,” he suggested with a growl, pulling Emily to her feet. Chuckling at his enthusiasm, she fixed her clothes before following him out and into the bedroom. 

***

The next two months flew by for her in a dreamlike state. It was a strange experience to be this happy, like everything was finally clicking into place. During the day she met old friends she hadn’t seen properly in years, and attended job interviews, and then spent the nights with Aaron, enveloped in their love that was at the same time both new and familiar. 

Today was different, though. She’d barely had time to eat since breakfast and suddenly, in the middle of the afternoon she’d been stopped in her tracks by the weirdest sensation. It was so foreign that there wasn’t a single word to describe it… It was as if she was both extremely hungry and extremely nauseous simultaneously, and if she didn’t get something to eat, she’d throw up for sure. After downing a foot-long chicken sub, she sighed happily. _Better. Much better._

Then it hit her. _Could it be?_ Her heart felt as if it was going to flutter out of her chest. She needed a test, but going to a pharmacy could start rumors that she didn't want getting out this soon. The good thing was that she had one at her apartment. Her fingers itched to text Aaron, but decided against it. That kind of news should be given in person. They'd had a lot on their plates ever since the news of their relationship had come out.

Aaron was currently being investigated by the Senate Republicans, and she couldn't even count how many times she'd told at various committee hearings that everything that had ever happened between them was 100% consensual. It also made her feel angry and protective over Aaron, because he was so far removed from the politicians who deserved these investigations, and yet more often than not still got away with harassment and even rape without losing much of anything. It was one of the things she was desperate to fight against, and over the last few weeks, an idea had been brewing in her head. It was nothing short of ironic considering the accusations Aaron was being subjected to, but nevertheless, it was much more appealing to her than any of the job offers she'd had. 

Crossing her arms, she leaned against her bathroom counter, waiting for the timer on her phone to go off.   

***

Aaron yawned as he hung up his coat that night. Emily was nowhere to be seen, which in itself was unusual, as they normally had dinner around this time, but at least he could hear the TV blaring in the master bedroom. The ring box in his pocket seemed to weigh at least a ton. 

“Em, you in here?” He called out, loosening his tie.

“In the bedroom. Can you come here for a minute?”

He frowned at the sound of her voice. There was an unfamiliar tremor to it that he didn’t like. 

She was sitting on the bed cross-legged when he entered the room. Coincidentally the TV was showing his own press conference appearance from earlier that day.

“Ugh, turn that thing off,” he groaned, throwing himself on the bed beside her. He didn’t get his wish, but she did mute the TV. 

“You okay?” He asked, placing a hand on her leg. 

“I’m fine, there’s just something you should know,” she exhaled nervously.

“What is it?” It was probably nothing, but he’d grown so accustomed to disasters and bad news that it was hard not to worry at the first sign of potential trouble.

She didn’t say anything, but instead handed him something. It took him a heartbeat or two to understand what he was looking at.

“Is this _real?_ ” He scoffed in disbelief.

“I don’t think false positives are much of a thing in this case,” she joked. 

“Are you happy?”

“Are _you?_ ”

“This is what we agreed on, right?”

“Yeah, but it’s different when it actually happens.”

“I can’t believe it’s happening, but yeah, I’m… Happy doesn’t really begin to cover it,” he told her, scrambling into a seating position to face Emily properly. There were tears in her eyes. 

“Baby, like I said, _this_ is our chance. Our chance for a happy ending. You’re going to be a great mom.”

Wiping her eyes, she threw her arms around his neck, climbing into his lap. 

“I can’t believe this is happening either,” she laughed. 

“Are you scared?” 

“I’d have to be crazy not to be.”

_Would it be stupid to give her the ring now?_

“I- I have something for you,” he began, palming the box before opening it for her to see.

“Are you- Aaron-“

“This has been coming for a very long time. I know this isn’t the first time you’ve been asked this question or the first time I’ve asked it, but I’d like for it to be the last for both of us. As you probably realize, I bought this before I knew about the baby. All I need is you. Will you marry me?”

“Yeah, I’ll be your wife.”

“You don’t need to think about it?” He asked. 

Shaking her head, she beamed at him. “No, I think I’ve had enough time for that already," she chuckled.

He placed the ring on her finger, the platinum and rocks of the ring glinting in the light.

“I also got you something else,” he suddenly remembered the stuffed bunny still waiting in its bag. He scrambled off the bed to find the bag in the back of his closet.

“Here,” he said, nudging the bag towards her.

“A bunny? Where did you even get this?” She laughed.

“At the hospital gift shop in Helsinki. They said it’s a common present to give to a newborn. I always thought I’d send it to you when you had your baby, and now I think our baby should have it.”

“I’m sure he or she will love it.”

***

"Em, are you still awake?" He asked softly, shifting closer to her on the bed.

She groaned softly in response. "Yeah. I think I'm too excited to sleep." The fact that she'd promised to marry him hadn't properly sank in yet, but it felt like a small detail compared to her pregnancy. Getting way ahead of herself, she was already guessing whether their child would look more like her, or take more after Aaron. If it would be a boy or a girl. Aaron said he didn't care, but something in her head kept telling her she'd have a daughter. Of course she had a 50% chance of being right on the money, and she didn't believe in old wives tales. She couldn't wait to find out.

"Me too," he sighed. "I was thinking of making hot cocoa, you want a cup?"

Chocolate in the middle of the night sounded amazing. "Sure. Hold on, I'll get up too, we can have it in the kitchen."

That was how they ended up sitting in his kitchen, steaming cups of milk and chocolate in front of them, at 3:30 AM.

"You know, I've been thinking about the first time we met," he said, taking a sip from his mug.

Emily raised a brow. "Really? The time I crashed into you in the hallway or the time you told me my initiative was stupid?"

"I never said _that_ ," he argued, earning an eye roll from her.

"That's what you _meant_."

"The Senator approved of the improved version."

"Yeah, I've always been wondering about that, you know. Why did you give me another chance? Everyone told me you weren't someone who'd give me any mercy." She really had wondered about that. 

"I liked you. That's the simple answer. You got to me."

Their eyes met, and she smiled at him. "I used to think things like that weren't real."

"We've always been real, whether we knew it ourselves or not."

"No arguments from me. Can we drink to that?" She suggested, coming to stand beside him. He turned the tables on her by removing the cup from her hand and placing it on the table. His arms wrapped around her once more. _Safety. Comfort. Home. Love._

Nuzzling his warm chest, she sighed. "I'm getting sleepy here," she admitted. 

"That's good. No nausea, then?"

"Not right now, but I reserve the right to change my mind at any point." 

Aaron laughed. "Permission granted."

***

_Second Lady gives birth to baby girl_

_Vice President Aaron Rivera and Second Lady Emily Rivera, his wife of 5 months, are now the proud parents of a baby girl. Elena Alessandra Rivera was born in Washington, D.C at 11:52 PM last night. Both the child and the mother are well and are expected to be released from the hospital later today._

_The White House has stated that the Vice President is attending to his duties as needed from the hospital. The new father could not be reached for a comment at this time, but has promised a statement later this week, while requesting privacy for his family._

_The birth announcement follows tumultuous months in the Vice President’s life, as he has been under investigation by the Senate Republicans, and some outside political circles have questioned his professionalism due to opting to marry Emily Rhodes, who formerly worked as his chief of staff. The marriage and pregnancy announcements took place mere months after her exit from his employment. Regardless of the seemingly whirlwind romance, multiple sources inside the White House have emphasized that the two have known each other for nearly a decade and that love had been in the air for a long time before their official announcement. Emily Rivera currently works as the head of a non-profit organization advocating for the rights of victims of inappropriate behavior and sexual_ _harassment in the workplace._


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